Here in this blog, I am writing self-forgiveness for believing that I can possibly know what a woman wants in a man to be able to manifest that 'knowledge' into a 'personality' of the 'perfect' man. I realize that there are general agreements in relation to what a woman wants in a man that we are aware of on a conscious level, but I also realize that within those agreements, there could be the existence of individual crutches that are served to promote the self-interest of the female. So how can I effectively trust what a female wants in a man? I cannot. I can only trust what emerges within myself from the perspective of being aware of the movements that emerge within myself which will be what that 'trust' is -- which is my 'awareness' and how I use my awareness to see / perceive what 'moves' within myself (the thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, etc.) to be able to direct them into a 'stabilty'. So here I start the self-forgiveness process in relation to this point. You can read my previous blog here to get more perspective on what the self-forgiveness are about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that to be a 'real' (effective) man, I have to follow what I believe females 'like' or 'want' in a man instead of realizing that this point of following someone elses perspectives in relation to something is from the starting-point of trying to mold and shape myself into the 'image' of what they 'want' or 'desire', and so thus, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to 'give life' to the word 'man', but to accept and allow others to 'define' the word 'man' for me which I, thus, imitate.
I commit myself to redefine the word 'follow' as accepting information from others in the form of 'listening', and being able to amend the information with new data and a process that produces results that are beneficial for me and others which will add 'value' and 'integrity' to the information as a 'whole', and I commit myself to deduct the data within the information that is prejudicious (which tends to favor preconceived ideas without assessing the value and integrity of what was stated or expressed initially, and / or causing harm or injury on a psychological or physical level).
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through me accepting and allowing myself to fulfill someone else's thoughts / perceptions / opinions of a word, such as the word 'man', that I am diminishing myself to the person and to my own mind by making the person the source of how I perceive words that I, thus, imitate within my mind, and by making my 'mind' the 'bridge' that takes what I physically see / perceive, and produces it into a simulation created by ideas as 'preconceived notions' that I then 'act out' in the form of 'behavior'.
I see, realize, and understand that I am the 'embodiment' of words.
I see, realize, and understand that I am the 'output' as how I represent each word that I speak / express.
I commit myself to assess how I define words within myself to be able to get to the 'root' of a word which is the structure (the images and the associations that give the word an 'organized composition' in my mind), and the meaning of the word that I express -- which equals to the 'root' of myself as how words are 'programmed' within myself through my consent which I become the 'output' and 'embodiment' of.
I commit myself to assess how I define words within myself so that I can have an awareness of the structure (which is the images and the associations that give each word that I am cognizant of -- an 'organized composition' in my mind), and the meaning of the word because I see, realize, and understand that when and as I have an awareness of each word that I speak and 'interact' with, I have an awareness of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideas about how or why someone sees, perceives, and defines words in such a manner within themselves instead of realizing that an idea is made out of 10% reality and 90% illusion that has been formatted in such a way to represent the 'truth' or the 'reality' of things that attributes prodigious 'emotional value' that I put into the 10% that 'outweighs' the 90% illusion.
I commit myself to assess whether I am creating an emotional value in relation to something or someone, and identify the 'ideas' that are the 'outputs' that come from emotions so that I can 'release' the idea by separating the 'truth' or the 'reality' within the idea from the illusion of it, and zone in on the truth or the reality of the situation for it to be directed with awareness.
I commit myself to remove myself from the 'emotions' that I attached to ideas so that I can clearly see the idea for what it is so that I do not get 'trapped' in it.
I will continue in the next blog with more self-forgivenesses in relation to defining myself as a man through women's eyes.