Day 4: Sarcasm SF | 21-Day Mind-Investigation on Words and Behavior

This blog is a continuation of the previous blog which is "Day 3: Sarcasm | 21-Day Mind-Investigation on Words and Behavior". In this blog, I will be doing self-forgiveness for the word 'sarcasm' based on the previous blog where I connected the phrase "You Think So?" to it representing a sarcastic statement.

In my mind, when and as I communicate with others, there are phrases of back-chats (inner babble) that manifest within myself. If I am to place these back-chats from my mind into the form of a pattern, they would read as statements below:

In my mind, I am saying to myself: "Let me go over there where you are so you won't think that I'm ignoring you."
And then out-loud, I say to the person, "Hey!", with a smile on my face.
In my mind, I am saying to myself while facing the person: "I hope I that "Hey!" sounded convincing to you...."
The person is talking about today will be a good day according to their idea of what a 'good day' is. In my mind, I say to myself: "Today is going to be a good day? Oh you think so?"

So here in this blog, I will write some self-forgiveness for these statements because I see, realize, and understand that even though these are 'sarcastic' statements, I see, realize, and understand that these statements are actually statements made in and as manipulation in the form of sarcasm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sarcasm in and as the form of manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself when communicating with another individual, and allow that suppression to become manifested as 'sarcasm'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate from the starting-point of trying to please others, and within that, resist the point of communicating with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate from the starting-point of trying to please others, and within that, create and project 'negative' back-chat to the person that I am communicating with through believing that they are the cause of why I feel the way that I feel when I am communicating with them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how this point of 'resistance' is existing within and as a form of self-diminishment manifested as 'resistance' within communication based on how I diminished myself to the point of believing that I need to please others when communicating with others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how my very point of sarcasm when communicating with others comes from a starting-point of / as the fear of not pleasing the person that I am communicating with which, thus, manifests as 'resistance' to communicate within the individual within and as the statement "But let me go over there where you are anyway so you won't think that I'm ignoring you."

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not correct the point within myself of the fear of being 'ignored', and so project my fear of being ignored to / towards someone else within and as the form of 'resisting communication' with them wherein I use 'sarcasm' to 'suppress' this resistance, and to contribute to my fear of being ignored.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how my fear of resisting communication with others is me enacting my fear of being ignored through using 'sarcasm' to 'balance out' my fear of not 'pleasing' the person that I am communicating with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for being 'emotionally dependent', and so manifest the back-chat within myself, "But let me go over there where you are anyway so you won't think that I'm ignoring you." -- because of the belief that the other individual that I am communicating with needs me to act or express in a certain way in order to stimulate their behavior or expression into and as a state of 'happiness' or 'pleasure'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within me blaming another for being 'emotionally dependent' -- that I am, at the same time, wanting 'validation' from them through trying to stimulate their behavior which I believe I will be successful at when and as they become 'pleased' by what I speak or express.

I commit myself to redefine the word 'shy' to and as the word 'confidence' through and as aligning myself to words in such a way that I am not using words to please others, but using words and 'living words' as knowing who I am to and as the words that I express daily.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how my point of pleasing another individual within and as communication comes from me not being aligned to and as the word 'happy' in such a way that I make the decision to be happy in and as a moment. Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I use the word 'happy' within and as depending on something or someone else that I perceive as 'separate' from me to 'give me' that happiness, and so thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'happiness' in such a way to where I depend on something or someone else to make me 'happy', and so mirror that definition of happiness through the belief that it is my job to make others happy through and as the words that I use and the behaviors that I express to others.

I commit myself to redefine the word 'happiness'. I see, realize, and understand how I defined the word 'happiness' as a word that is a response to particular 'stimuli' that creates the experience of happiness. Within and as my communication with others, I see, realize, and understand that my state of happiness is when and as I am not communicating with others because of the experience of being 'free' within that moment to behave / express the way that I choose. And so thus, I realize how I defined happiness within the context of being alone and not having to worry about other's well being. So I see, within this, how I exist separate from the word 'communication' which becomes the 'engine' that drives my state of happiness when and as I am not communicating to others.

So I commit myself to redefine the word 'happiness' as a state of joy or pleasure in knowing who I am through and as words such as the word 'communication.' I see, realize, and understand that when and as a word stimulates me -- that I am not the directive-principle of words, and so when and as I live the word 'communication' through and as self-trust, then I will be / become the 'living word' as 'communication' by and as living that word to its utmost potential.

I commit myself to redefine the word 'communication' within and as having the ability to communicate with and as another from a starting-point of directing my words that I speak, and my actions that I physically express instead of me as the mind, as energy, molding and shaping my words and behavior contingent on the words and behavior of another.

I commit myself to have self-trust when and as I communicate because I see, realize, and understand that when and as I become 'stimulated' by others' words -- that within that stimulation, there is no self-trust to / towards the words that are being communicated because of existing separate from and as the words that are being communicated.

I commit myself to develop self-trust by reprogramming my relationship to words through redefining words and living words to their utmost potential which is living that word to the greatest possible potential that that particular word offers as a point of change.

In the next blog, I will continue with how I changed my behavior from the phrase, "But let me go over there where you are anyway so you won't think that I'm ignoring you." to saying "Hey!" where I suppressed my actual expression which is not wanting to say "Hi" to actually forcing myself to say "Hi" in order to please the other individual as a way of keeping my relationship to them, in-tact.