08 August 2014

Day 2: Hey! SF | 21-Day Mind-Investigation on Words and Behavior

Here in this blog, I am continuing with the previous blog titled: "Day 1: Hey! | 21-Day Mind-Investigation on Words and Behavior" where I talked about the word "Hey!" from the perspective of how I utter the word "Hey!" in the form of a tic. In the previous blog I described what a vocal tic is. A tic is basically an involuntary movement or an involuntary sound that is made. Speaking the word "Hey!" involuntarily would be a vocal tic. Tics are predominantly symptoms of tic disorders such as transient tic disorder, chronic tic disorder, or Tourette's Sydrome. Tics can also be symptoms of other disorders such as cerebral palsy or Huntington's disease.

In the previous blog, I talked about how I used the word "Hey!" in my life, and I realized that most of the time when I use the word "Hey!", it is to get / gain a form of 'acknowledgement' from another person so that I can feel 'validated'. So within speaking the word "Hey!", I realize how my starting-point for even uttering the word is within a form of self-diminishment which is an expression that is required to be able to experience how it feels to be validated by others.

I realize that to 'feel' 'validated' within / around certain people, or groups of people, means that I have to diminish myself to others which means that being in a position of self-diminishment, one will automatically accept everything about the other person or other people that I am desiring validation from -- regardless of their mental condition.

Society on the 'outside' almost always look normal because of how we agree on each other's own deceptive tactics within suppressing who we really are which is the reason that so much consequence exists within this word today. So to 'feel belonged' is also a point where I am validating everyone's mind -- regardless of what a person did within their lifetime and how it affected themselves and others. So this is really a big fuckup -- in wanting / desiring 'validation' from others because within wanting / desiring 'validation' from others, I am subjecting myself to all forms of minds that generate all forms of consequences.

I see, realize, and understand that when and as I desire 'validation' from others -- that I will have to diminish myself to the person, or people, that I am desiring validation from in order to experience 'validation' -- which means that within me diminishing myself is a blind acceptance of everything that that person / people stand for within their life and what they did, and how they contributed to 'consequence'.

I see, realize, and understad that within desiring validation -- is like a drug. It's like a 'good feeling' that 'stimulates' me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the word 'Hey' in order to get something out of it such as 'validation' or a 'positive experience'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'unstable' through desiring 'validation' from others..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself by desiring 'validation' of the words that I speak and the expression that I show to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to position myself as being a 'victim' to that which I speak or express to others instead of standing as the 'author' of what I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my words to 'dictate' me through using words to get validation from others based on their feedback that they give to me, and within that, believe that if their feedback is 'positive' -- that that means that what I said or expressed to them is an 'acceptable social expression'.

And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use that which has become an 'acceptable social expression' by the feedback from others -- to 'perfect' my 'personality' and expression that I show to others so that I can use my expression to be validated by more people that I didn't get validated by initially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my 'stability' in relation to how I express myself with words, and my 'empowerment' -- as the 'power' to direct the words that I speak, and instead, use words to get 'validation' from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my words that I speak to 'define' me by using words from a starting-point of wanting to be 'validated' by others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that every moment when I am communicating with others, I am in-fact creating myself in that moment from a starting-point of either being a victim to the words that I speak, which I within that, allow my words that I speak create / define me, or from a stand-point of expressing myself through the words that I speak, meaning that the words that I speak becomes an 'extension' of myself rather than reacting to the words that I speak, and am not using the words that I speak to create reactions in others.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I react to the words that I speak -- that the starting-point for the words that I speak will be in the form of, for instance, a 'desire' to be 'validated'.


And I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I react to the words that I speak -- that the starting-point for the words that I speak will also be in the form of a desire to cause reactions in others -- regardless of whether those reactions are positive or negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand in a 'position' to where I am 'influenced' by my words or another's words emotionally instead of realizing that to be the creator and author of what I speak -- that I have to stand in a position of 'stability' because if I am not standing in a position of 'stability', I am, 'rather', standing in a position of 'instability' -- as being self-victimized to the words that I speak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse the word 'Hey' by using it to get 'validation' from others.

I commit myself to change my relationship to the word 'validation' from it being defined within myself as the process of trying to attain validity to a particular 'behavior' or 'expression' of mine to be seen as valid amongst a social group or a social class to 'validation' being used as a tool to assist and support myself to, when and as I desire to be 'validated', I stop and breathe. I change my starting-point of the desire to be 'validated' to a starting-point of 'investigating' what particular expression within myself am I desiring to be 'validated', and to release myself from the relationship to that particular expression that desires to be 'validated' by realizing that when and as I remain dependent on 'validation' from this perspective -- that I can never BE REAL because I have given a superiority status to my thoughts, my emotions / feelings within and as my mind, and so thus, because I have given a superiority status to my relationship to my thoughts, emotions / feelings within and as my mind that I desire to be validated, I perceive that as 'more real' than me.
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Read June's Blog About The Word 'Hey': Day 1Day 2

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