Here in this blog, I am continuing with Day 20: My Dad Has Diabetes So I Will Have it Too | 21-Day Mind Investigation on Sugar. In the previous blog, I realized how my fear of diabetes stems from my dad having diabetes which contributes to me having a resistance for foods with high carbohydrate content. This fear of having diabetes was never really a prominent point within my life until it was triggered by a video that I watched wherein -- what I interpreted from the video was that eating too much sugar can contribute to a higher risk of diabetes. So here within this blog, I will write some self-forgivenesses regarding my resistance and fear of consuming foods that are high in carbohydrates.
For me, writing and speaking self-forgivenesses allows me to see the patterns that I am participating in daily that does not contribute to walking, establishing, and living within and as a principle of 'integrity', but moreover -- contributes to creating consequential situations / circumstances that could have been avoided if one did not 'react to' whatever it was that one reacted to within a particular event or situation that lead to a consequential outcome. And within seeing the patterns, I am able to 'forgive' those patterns as a form of 'releasing' those patterns from within myself, and then come up with solutions for real -- where I change my relationship to that which I am reacting to. In this case, it is me reacting to foods that have high carbohydrate content, and then creating a consequence of being 'picky' when I eat instead of trying each / every food item out in portions, rather than not trying them out at all. So here, I will write some self-forgivenesses, and then look at the corrections accordingly.
I see, realize, and understand that my starting-point for buying the Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter meal bars is because of 1) to maintain a stable level of blood sugar, 2) to have something to eat a my job in between meals that won't raise my blood sugar level, and 3) to 'hope' that I do not get that 'bloating' sensation like I did when I ate the South Beach Diet Fudgy Chocolate Mint-flavored candy bars.
I see, realize, and understand that I have been eating Munchies™ Peanut Butter on Toast crackers, but judged them because of their high-carbohydrate content.
I see, realize, and understand that I do not know how the Munchies™ Peanut Butter on Toast crackers affects my blood sugar, but went by a belief that because of their high carbohydrate content, I should get something 'low' in carbohydrate content just to be 'safe'.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how this is, in-fact manipulation where in I manipulate myself by choosing food items that are seemingly 'low' in carbohydrate content to avoid the risk of diabetes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in the knowledge and information about the carbohydrate content that is found food such as in the Munchies™ Peanut Butter on Toast crackers without cross-referencing the effect of eating food that are high in carbohydrates, according to research, with testing my blood sugar levels with a blood glucose meter, a lancet device, a lancet, and a test strip 2 hours after I eat.
I commit myself to see how my blood sugar levels is affected by the amount of carbohydrate content that I eat by physically testing my blood sugar levels with a blood glucose meter, a lancet device, a lancet, and a test strip.
I commit myself to -- when the test results of a glucose meter results in high blood glucose readings -- to portion the amount of the particular food item that is high in carbohydrate content and then to test again to see how it affects my blood sugar level instead of removing the entire food item which results in judging the food item as 'bad' or 'unhealthy'.