So here in this blog, I will write some self-forgivenesses regarding my relationship to the Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter meal bars. Writing self-forgivenesses, or speaking them, gives me the opportunity to look at my mind patterns of judgment, for instance, such as judging the particular candy bars that I bought as 'better than' or 'more healthier' than 'regular' candy bars, or comparing the candy bar that I chose the second time with the candy bar that I chose the first time. Self-forgiveness allows me to then investigate the reason why I am judging or comparing something / someone to something / someone else, and from me investigating my patterns of judgment, comparison etc., I am able to develop a point of correction that I can apply physically by correcting myself each time that a similar event / situation occurs within my life where I would normally use judgment, comparison, etc. within and as the words that I speak and / or the behavior(s) that I express.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself follow my 'desire' for something sweet by eating any particular food item that is sweet so that I can have an experience of fulfillment and pleasure instead of investigating that which I am actually consuming -- making sure that that which I consume is 'agreeable' to the body, for example, in sustaining optimal blood-sugar regulation.
I commit myself to buy a blood sugar monitor, some lancets, and test strips to test to see how eating certain food items, such as a candy bar, effects my blood sugar levels.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot have anything sweet because, practically, everything is high in sugar.
I commit myself to test different kinds of food items that I believe is high in sugar with a blood sugar monitor before I consume the particular food item, and two hours after I consume the particular food item to test to see how the particular food item that I believe is 'high in sugar' affects my blood glucose levels.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should 'give up' certain food items that are high in sugar content instead of realizing that I can 'portion' those particular food items instead of giving them up.me
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I give up certain food items that resulted in readings that were above the 'normal' glucose readings (in relation to my physical body blood glucose levels) instead of portioning those food items -- that this 'giving up' point is because of a fear of having high blood glucose levels if I eat the particular food item again -- which is based on a judgment within me of judging the particular food item as 'not fit' for the consumption of my physical body.
I commit myself to portion my intake of the particular food items that corresponded to high blood glucose readings after eating them, and then test again to see what the blood glucose readings are again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the food items that are high in sugar content as 'bad' or 'unhealthy', and judge the food items that are low in sugar content as 'healthy'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'feel safe' when I eat foods that are low in sugar content, and feel a slight sense of 'anxiety' or 'uneasiness' when I eat foods that are high in sugar content because of the fear of having diabetes if I eat too many foods that are high in sugar content.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will get / have diabetes if I eat too many foods that are high in sugar or carbohydrate content.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this fear of getting / having diabetes stems from me not having an awareness of the nutritional content of the foods that I am eating, and an awareness on how my body is being affected by the foods that I eat. And I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to have an awareness of how my body can be nutritionally supported by the foods that I eat, and so within this, fear dis-ease and sickness because of me not directing this fear of dis-ease and sickness through supporting my physical body's health.
I commit myself to develop an awareness on what I put into my body, such as the vitamin / mineral content of particular food items, the sugar content, and I additionally commit myself to develop an awareness on the kinds of ingredients found in food, and what those ingredients are used for, how they are produced, and how they affect the physical body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel safe when I eat foods that have high fiber content because of the belief that fiber slows the absorption of sugar.
I commit myself to test to see how fiber affects my blood sugar levels by, for example, testing my blood sugar levels before I eat a piece of white bread, and testing my blood sugar levels after I eat a piece of white bread. I commit myself to, on the next day, test my blood sugar levels before I eat a piece of whole grain wheat bread or rye bread, and test my blood sugar levels after I eat a piece of whole grain wheat bread or rye bread, and compare both results of how both breads affected my blood sugar levels because I realize that white bread, according to studies, has less fiber content than whole grain wheat or rye bread.
I will continue in the next blog with my relationship to fiber and how I experienced myself during and after I digested the Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter meal bar.
Resources
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21 Days Mind Investigation on Sugar
The Sugar Log Project: Developing an Awareness of How Much Sugar We Consume
Relationship Support: Blogging with Partner
Financial Support
Life Support
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