Beauty and 'Common Sense'

In the dictionary, beauty is the quality of being physically attractive. I see, realize, and understand how having particular-specific mental qualities such as 'intelligence' or physical qualities such as 'money' can make someone look 'attractive'. Thus within this, I realize how 'beauty' can be contingent upon how I perceive another individual within my mind because of me believing that I lack that particular quality within myself.

I remember when I was ten years old how one of my relatives introduced me to my younger brother. Because I saw that particular relative as a father-figure, I placed 'value' on many, if not all, things that he said. The question is why did I see him as a father-figure? Well one reason is because he was one of the males that was present in my life in my early years growing up. He was there with my mom when my mom gave birth to me, and so I attached 'feelings' to him the more that I was around him, and within those feelings, I began placing 'value' to him. So within placing value on him, I realize how I then, thus, begin seeing these men that were involved within my life at a young age as 'attractive'.

I realize that 'attraction' doesn't necessarily have to mean that someone has an attractive body. Attraction is how much value has been placed on something or someone. Attraction is the accumulation of emotions or feelings that becomes so intense that if that person is not in your life anymore for some reason, there will be a reaction of a feeling of 'loss' within oneself. Beauty, thus, would be the qualities that one sees within an individual that one has become attracted to that gives a sense of 'pleasure' about that individual. Ugliness would be the opposite as the qualities that one sees within an individual that one has created resistances to that gives a sense of 'displeasure' about that individual. But I realize that the perceived 'attractiveness' or one's resistance thereof -- to something or someone is always contingent upon self, and one's relationship to words within oneself such as, for me, it is the word 'common sense' in this case -- of which I believed that I had a 'lack of', and because of me believing that this particular relative of mine had 'more' common-sense' than me -- I became attracted to his words and his behavior to the point that I saw him as a father-figure in my life.

So as I mentioned above, one of the qualities that I saw in this particular relative that I created a value to is 'common sense' because of him telling me that I had no common sense. Because I valued most, if not all, things that he said -- and because he told me that I had no common sense, one of the qualities that I then, thus, saw in him was 'common sense'. So within my life, what did I do to try to gain common sense? I tried to gain common sense by being smarter / having more 'intelligence' so that I can feel, at least, as an 'equal' to this particular relative that I placed value on. So in the next blog, I'd like to do some self-forgiveness for accepting and allowing myself to use 'intelligence' as a way of gaining 'common sense'. So that I can feel, at least, as an 'equal' to this particular relative that I created a 'value' to in my life'.