21-Day Mind Investigation on Sugar: Salad Without Dressing | Day 4

On this 4th day of the 21-day mind investigation on sugar, I went to the grocery store to buy some salad. I pre-judged the salad as being 'bland' even before eating it because of me imagining the taste of each individual vegetable in my mouth based on how I beLIEved the food that was part of the salad will taste like, and so with this belief, I created a slight resistance to the salad. When I actually ate it, I realized how unique each vegetable tastes, for instance, how sweet the shredded carrots were.

I realize within pre-judging food -- how I then trust in the 'idea' of how I believe the food tastes like, and that this idea becomes 'more trustworthy' than actually physically trying it out unconditionally -- meaning that because I trusted in the idea that the salad is bland more than how it really tastes, I created a 'resistance' to trying it out which confirms the amount of 'trust' that I gave to my idea about the particular food items that were part of the salad.

So here in this blog, I'd like to write some self-forgivenesses. Self-forgiveness, for me, allows me to gift myself, through writing, the opportunity to look back at my experiences, and release any emotional reactions and resistances that I created from ideas that I have in relation to food, and within releasing my emotional reactions and resistances to food, I am able to more clearly see my starting-point (which is the reason) for eating particular food items. Did I eat this particular food item because it makes me 'feel good'? Am I eating this particular food item to compensate for my mental states of 'depression'? Am I eating this particular food item to compensate for my experience of boredom? And this 'list' goes on....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in my idea about a particular food item within my mind -- more than actually trying the particular food item out unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat foods for 'pleasure' : such as foods that are sweet -- to compensate for my belief of the 'lack of' pleasure that I have or experience within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'pleasure' is something that exists separate from me, and so use foods such as sweets, to give me a sense of pleasure, and within that, believe that I will become 'fulfilled' during and after eating the particular food item that I believe gives me 'pleasure'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'pleasure' within the eating of particular food items, and believe that when I am done eating that particular food item -- that my experience to pleasure will be lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the extent of my pleasure within food, and the eating of it.

I realize that when I have a resistance to eating a particular food item -- that I have already formed an idea about it within my mind.

I commit myself to -- instead of trusting in my 'ideas' about how I believe I will experience the taste and / or texture of a particular food item, I redefine my relationship to trust in a way that I am able to trust myself to move myself. I realize that when I am influenced by an 'idea', that I am not 'moving' myself, but am 'being moved' by my 'ideas' within either 'desiring' a particular food item or 'resisting' it.

I commit myself to embrace all foods. I realize that all foods are made by the same elements from the Earth.

I commit myself to allow the food that I eat digest within myself with no preconceived ideas / desires / resistances, etc. about it, and then assist and support myself with some self-forgiveness when there is even a hint of resistance toward the particular food item that is processing within my body to ensure that I do not allow myself to become defined by the resistance, but that my only relationship to the particular food item is me eating it, and how it processes within and throughout my physical body.