Day 94 | The "Survival Character" : I Have Less Bills to Pay!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself -- after seeing how much that I have to pay for the Desteni I Process for the month of July, become the relieved through the 'Survival Character' -- feeling relieved that I only have to pay 42.64 Euros off of the normal price of 100 Euros for the 'Agreement Course' because of making profit from the Eqafe interviews -- of which I accept and allow myself to exist within the relief through the Survival Character -- as me confirming that I am subjugated by the energies / mindset that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as 'before' the 'experience' of feeling relieved -- of which these energies became so substantial within and as my experience when paying other bills that I, within these energies, created a mood / mindset / character of "I don't feel like paying bills", thus, believe that I am this 'character' as I have trusted this 'expression' of me -- which is the 'expression' of and as the accumulation of energies consisting of thoughts, feelings, and emotions forming and creating 'back-chat' against that which is real 'here' -- as I distort what is real 'here' into and as pictures, thoughts, feelings, emotions that I begin to 'trust' from which thus births the reactions of/as 'relief' as a positive-outflow of that which I have created within the physical reality as the 'negative' (= Surviving / Survival) -- through the 'experience' of 'paying bills'. Thus, this positive outflow of and as this 'experience' is simply the 'balance-point' wherein my 'mood' / 'mindset' changes to that of a 'positive' nature -- thinking / believing that within 'relief' I am 'removing' all of the 'negativity' within and as me as the accumulation of energies as thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, pictures, etc., but not realizing that within this relief is simply me confirming and validating how I existed as within and as the 'negative-energy' experience while paying bills -- as this 'relief' is simply the 'positive-energy' experience from the 'negative-energy' experience of/as 'Survival -- which becomes 'neutral' within and as me, thus, justifying in my world and reality why 'relief' is 'good', as I also redirect myself and others as me in a way wherein I create 'experiences' of and as 'relief'' in my world and reality wherein I, and others, can 'feel' relieved together. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself, within this, to see that creating 'experiences' wherein I can create 'relief' for/as myself and others is in-fact self-interest because the world as it exists now exists in and as the polarity of negative-energy 'experiences' that are created in such a way that 'relief' becomes the 'goal' in our lives -- which is seen in the entertainment industry -- in the retirement industry -- in the drug industry -- in the sex industry -- all of these created a sense of 'relief' for us to create the 'illusion' of 'balance' / 'happiness' / 'bliss' within ourselves -- not seeing, realizing and understanding that these points are in-fact opportunities for/as the creation of 'consequence' that we live out in our world as aftermaths of the 'experience' of 'relief' -- instead of creating a world wherein 'Survival / Surviving' is no longer a culprit because what is best for all / everyone is in-fact creating / establishing a permanent solution where Life is then actually lived in/as 'freedom' as actual 'relief'.

I commit myself to show that existing within and as 'relief' in my world and reality through and as being 'happy' that I have less bills to pay is a valid point in this world and reality for all, but the energetics involved behind this point are in-fact energetics that have been substantiated in this world and reality as the point of 'winning' because of the 'fear of loss' -- of which every child born in and as this world learns about this polarity of winning and losing and begin to apply it within/as their personalities. This thus created a 'oneness' in this world and reality that is justified by the monetary system which is then validated as a 'valid' point through the trading of every dollar. Thus, it is to see, realize, and understand for me that existing within and as this winning and losing point is a point of validation within and as me -- as I begin to move within and as this 'behavior' (of winning and losing) within and as the construct of 'survival' -- that not only I manifest within and as experiences of paying 'bills', but that this point proliferates into and as other dimensions of and as my mind within my thoughts, feelings, and emotions -- forming and creating me in such a way that I live only to fulfill my 'goals', 'dreams', 'wishes', etc. -- which are not really actual goals and dreams, as goals and dreams are simply strings of thoughts, back-chat, internal conversations that I want to fulfill in my world and reality, but that I am 'here' -- in every moment of breath -- breathing -- not wanting, or needing anything -- from the perspective of who I am in this physical existence. Because the thing is, there are things that I need within my world and reality in relation to who I am in/as my human physical body, but there is also an integrity of 'need' that I create within and as my mind of which I create 'beliefs' that I 'need' something to make me 'feel good' or to make me experience 'wholeness' / 'satisfaction'. In this case, it is the point of who I am in/as the 'Survival Character' that I wish to fulfill -- which are the 'energetics' of who I am as the mind in and as 'anger', 'depression', 'sorrow' etc. and that creating experiences / existing within the point of relief simply justifies who I am in and as 'anger', 'depression', 'sorrow' etc. Thus, relief in this case would simply be the justification of who I am in and as 'anger', 'depression', 'sorrow' etc. Thus, I commit myself to -- instead of trusting who I am in and as 'relief' -- get down to the core of the reasons for the 'energetics' of my experiences of feeling relieved -- which are my 'angers', 'depressions, 'sorrows' etc. that I have about the monetary system -- of which I have the opportunity to take the 'angers', 'depressions, 'sorrows' etc. and forgive it (release it from and as my mind) -- of which then can I only be 'free' through self-forgiveness and applying myself in/as my daily applications accordingly -- to not trust / participate in any 'experience' of 'reactions' as 'anger', 'depression', 'sorrow' etc. which gives life to the illusion of positive-energy 'experiences' of/as 'relief'.

Back-chat: I only have to pay 42 Euros for Desteni this month!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat as a method of existing and maintaining a character -- instead of realizing that backchat is there because I identify within and as that back-chat as a part of me.

I commit myself to identify the back-chat of and as "I only have to pay 42 Euros for Desteni this month!" by seeing, realizing and understanding that the point of this back-chat existing within me is because of fear -- the fear of loss -- so within this fear of loss, I exist within and as a polarity of winning and losing, as winning for me is having money, so I have to keep up this point of winning by creating a personality that constantly and continuously seek for money out of fear of losing that which defines me in my world and reality within money and value. Thus, a point of/as self-commitment would be to stop the energetics of this fear through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to have a look at all of the energetics that I participate in in the 'working' for money -- as how does working for money affect me in my daily application of working for money? What kind of reactions come up in/as the times for/of working for money? All of these points I can have a look at as the 'reactions' that comes up within/during working for money, and then get to a point wherein I'm no longer 'controlled' by the energetics of making money through and as my movements, body-language, speech, etc.