Day 46 | Redefining Submissiveness and Structure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a man separate from a female, thus, have an aversion to marry a female because I created relationships within me that I accept and allow the position to dictate who I am as a man in relation to a woman -- instead of realizing that I equal and one with and as females, but it is the relationships that I created with females that create the illusion of how I perceive females as either more-than me or less-than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a man based on how society has defined a man as, and thus, create the image and likeness of me based on the image that society has given a man, and thus, to have an aversion for particular specific attributes that females have because they don't have the same attributes that men have -- of which I, within this, actually make that which I have an aversion for more-than me because I perceived myself separate from that, and thus, I create relationships based on that aversion to try to not become it when I am in-fact, the manifestation of my own aversions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the female as the 'weaker-vessel' because of their pictured-presentation and the attributes of a female that are defined as feminine -- which I separated myself from based on my relationship with my mother and father, and how I developed myself into and as the image and likeness of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an aversion for my mom having no backbone growing up, and thus, desire females that appear to be strong-willed and direct in their communications as a point of blaming my mom for me not having no backbone either, instead of realizing the manipulation that I placed myself into and as -- into a relationship that defines who I am as having no backbone -- instead of taking self-responsibility to direct my world and reality, and thus realize, that it's not about having a backbone -- as a depiction of directness, but it is to take self-responsibility within all that I do else, I will be simply manipulating myself within trying to become direct if I had a female partner that was direct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that females shouldn't be strong-willed and direct because of the belief that they are suppose to be weak and submissive to men based on the basic feminine construct as being energetically inclined rather than structural in their basic relationships, and thus, see marriage to a female as stepping down from manhood into submissiveness to the female construct of energy as emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the participation within emotions and feelings is the point of reducing oneself into a lesser form of of beingness, and taking this into consideration, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with the definition of females possessing the basic feminine construct as being energetically inclined which I connected to emotions and feelings, and thus connect this relationship association to how and why females have the soft appearance that they do -- as a representation of softness as weakness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see the relationship that I created with females (as being weak and submissive) as a point of me being weak and submissive within and as the relationship that I created with my definition of strength and directness -- as only a depiction that depicts the image / personality / ego of a man based on the how a male came to be within this world and reality. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depict (form into a picture) what strength, and directness looks like, and depict what submissiveness and  weakness looks like within the anatomical structure-formation of the male and female physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define females as soft, and thus, within this see softness as a point of weakness because I connected softness to being submissive rather than seeing, realizing, and understanding that submissiveness is currently defined as the trait of being willing to yield to the will of another person or a superior force etc., and can be redefined as the willing to be equal to and one with that which one resists from the personality / ego perspective that one fights to keep what one believes they have -- as a want / need / desire -- which one yields / gives-in to self-honesty as a point of giving self, the value of self that is best for oneself and all relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define males as structured, and thus, within this see structure as a point of being organized and direct in one's applications in their world and reality instead of realizing the relationship that I created with being structured as a depiction (picture) of a male rather than seeing, realizing, and understanding that structure can in fact be redefined when one accepts and allows themselves to give structure to themselves by restructuring all relationships as words and patterns that one depicts themselves as in relation to self and others by deconstructing the very foundation that one stands for and as, and reconstituting who one is in relation to self and others in a way that is best for all -- as a living principle to bring about ways of living and existing that are the most optimal for all as a whole and the most optimal for the individual life-form equally.

I commit myself to walk the point of submissiveness as the willing to be equal to and one with that which I resist in my world and reality -- that I fight to keep what / who I believe I am -- which I will yield / give-in to self-honesty as a point of giving myself, the value of me that is best for myself and all relationships -- as a point of living for real, rather than hiding behind the depiction of what I defined as dominance within masculinity.

I commit myself to accept and allow myself to give structure to myself by restructuring all relationships as words and patterns that I depict myself as in relation to myself and others by deconstructing the very foundation that I stand for and as (as Leon Perry), and reconstitute who I am in relation to myself and others in a way that is best for all -- as a living principle to bring about ways of living and existing that are the most optimal for all as a whole and the most optimal for myself equally.