05 June 2012

Day 44 | Comparing My Childhood Life with My Adulthood Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my childhood life personality to my adulthood life personality as a point of separation, and thus, see my childhood as 'more-than' because I defined myself as innocent during that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can never return to 'innocence' as the taking of self-responsibility for every thought, feeling, emotion, memory, etc. that defines who I am into a relationship because I placed trust within and as relationships -- rather than trusting myself in every moment of breath. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in relationships to move me because I defined the movement as relationships as 'energy' the 'expression' of who I am, and thus, overtime turn 'innocence' into guilt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within guilt as an adult because I know that I haven't been directing myself equal to and one with all relationships that I participated in, and thus, see myself as 'less than', and my childhood life as 'more than' because I did not have / exist in / create the intricate patterns that I defined myself into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as feelings (such as guilt) but not direct the feelings equal to and one with myself as who I am equal to and one with all that exists, but accept and allow myself to create a relationship to guilt in separation, and thus, allow that guilt to direct me in my world and reality because I have given up on myself as an adult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as an adult, and thus, exist within and as anger as fear -- instead of directing the anger as fear -- equal to and one with who I am as all that exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from 'innocence' of which I defined as being free from evil or guilt because I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as  anger to and towards a system that I was not aware of as a child that existed because I didn't have to worry about money. Thus, when I saw / realized the truth of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, I existed within and as anger of not knowing how to effectively direct me within and as the system, and judged me within that anger as evil.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and to judge me within the participation of 'energy' as 'evil' as a child growing up as an adult because I did not like how the world system as money operates.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the picture of and as me when I was a child, and thus, compare my picture as a child to my picture as an adult, and to see my picture as corrupt compared to the picture of a child -- instead of realizing that I am not defined by a picture that represents me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a picture based on the relationships that I created as the 'child picture' compared to the relationships that I created as the 'adult picture' because I judged myself within the 'child picture' being 'more than' the adult picture because I had the ability to see things when I was a child which disappeared when I was an adult. Thus within this, see me as the adult picture as 'impure' because of the relationships, as 'energy', that I created in my world and reality that I separated myself from of which I believed concealed my ability to 'see' more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am impure because of the very relationships, as 'energy', that I created within my world and reality that concealed my ability to see -- instead of realizing that I separated myself from relationships and energy within/as a point of blame -- rather than taking self-responsibility to equalize myself with and as all relationships in this world and reality as I take self-responsibility to forgive all relationships, as 'energy', that I accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a limited ego that only operates within and as opinion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my adulthood life with my childhood life because of the belief that children are more pure based on the belief that they are more interdimensionally aware. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect purity to being interdimensionally aware.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my adulthood life with my childhood life because of the belief that children are more pure based on the belief that they are more in their physical bodies. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect purity to being more in my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word 'pure' as being free from the relationship patterns that I defined myself into, instead of redefining purity as being equal to and one with and as all relationship patterns that I defined myself into, and thus to take self-responsibility to self-forgive all relationship patterns that I have allowed to dictate who I am as a personality / ego existing separate from all life, and to move myself into and as equality and oneness as the physical as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within knowledge and information about how a child functions within this world and reality compared to the functionality of the adult, and to thus exist within that comparison as a point of separation that dictates who I am in relationship to children -- of which I see children as 'more than' me, and me as 'less than' -- instead of taking self-responsibility to birth myself here as life into and as ways that are best for all in which every child and adult are able live a life that honors the life of who they are instead of money that is currently the dictator -- that is currently defined as life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my breath is in-fact the 'real' child of which I abdicate for and as relationships in this world which I function within as as -- of which I use and abuse relationships for me to exist within and as 'energy' that I have accepted as the 'life' of me, and within this point of energy that I believe I am -- create myself into and as the ego of competition -- which I compete against pictures that I have created relationships to based on fear -- the fear of not being and becoming who I am within and as 'effectiveness' as a 'personality' that has become the image and likeness of self-dishonesty limited to the definition of my picture form as an adult male.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to breathe when writing self-forgiveness, and thus, exist within and as the mind / ego which writes / speaks self-forgiveness in separation -- instead of equalizing myself with and as self-forgiveness. Thus, I commit myself when doing self-forgiveness to breath, and move myself within and as the most 'effective' position wherein my body is aligned with and as my beingness -- rather than aligning my body with and as 'laziness', and apathy.

I commit myself to equalize myself with all relationship patterns that I defined myself into/as because if I am not equal to and one with all relationship patterns that I defined myself into/as, I give power for those relationship patterns to dictate who I am in every moment of breath -- becoming automated within everything that I do, rather than returning to the physical using the breath as consistency.

I commit myself to equalize myself with my childhood personality -- because the reason for even doing self-forgiveness for the childhood personality is because I believed and perceived myself to be separate from it  -- of which I created relationships to (within judgment) to stabilize myself within judgment for the sake of keeping my adulthood personality alive through guilt.

I commit myself to stop judging myself because the more that I judge myself, the more I become ingrained into and as the personality / ego that I believe myself to be -- which is protected behind judgment as a justification of who I am as a personality / ego that seeks 'energy' to exist as the stability of the ego.

I commit myself to ground myself here in the physical, and to realize that the desire for me to be / become interdimensional is me existing separate from all life -- instead of bringing all parts of me as life 'here' -- because 'here' is where I am able to birth myself as life through giving up knowledge that creates / establishes / confirms 'energy' as life -- instead of life being who I am in every moment of breath that is the stability of and as equality and oneness -- as collective relationships / agreements made that forms decisions that is best for all in and as all ways.

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