On June 4th 2012, my agreement partner informed me about some of my clothes that I leave on the counter in the bathroom. I informed her that the reason I leave them on the bathroom counter is so I can wear them again at some time because my philosophy is that I don't have a lot of clothes, so why not wear the ones that don't look dirty, or have an obvious smell to them. Subsequently, I informed her about some shorts that she also left on the bathroom counter with my clothes that I thought was hers, but it wasn't. Thus, within this pattern, I am existing within competition of me 'bringing her down' with me at my level because I saw myself 'less than' her. So I would like to do the necessary self-forgiveness involving this circumstance because I realize that leaving my clothes on the counter with no self-direction consists of and exists as rebellion.
I forgive that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that rebellion is a projection of that which I have not taken self-responsibility for thus, see rebellion as a point of freedom and taking self-responsibility as a point of control because that which I define free is my limited view of and as myself as a personality existing within and as self-interest in relation to my experiences which I desire to fulfill my way of doing things instead of looking at / considering everything else that is equal to and one with and as the experience that I am participating in.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider everything else in my world and reality because I only want to look at my own wants / needs / desires based on self-interest, and thus, go against others that test / challenge my definition of freedom within and as rebellion because I made / created rebellion a point of validity based on the desire for free speech / freedom that I have not directed equal to and one with what is best for all -- because I simply defined rebellion within and as my own understanding / interpretation of what freedom means / entails -- within a starting-point of self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see non-living things as 'less-than' me, and thus believe that I can do anything that I want to them based on my own decisions as what to do with them from and within a starting point of separation of deifying / exalting who I am as a 'personality' that has 'intelligence' as I defy what is best for all -- including living things and non-living things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as 'more-than' because I have thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, etc., and see non-living things as 'less-than' because I perceive them as having no reasoning, perceptual, sensational, and sentient faculties, and thus within placing them in a less-than status / position, deify who I am as a 'sentient being', as I defy anything / anyone that goes against my position as a sentient being of which I sentenced myself to and as a limited awareness that doesn't include what is best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as rebellion -- because I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to what I perceive and believe myself to exist within and as -- as rebellion, of which I defined rebellion as a point of freedom -- freedom from doing what I don't want to do -- as taking self-responsibility for who I am as the ALL of life -- equal to and one with the living and the non-living things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see rebellion as a point of freedom because I defined rebellion based on the polarity of freedom and control -- of which I accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the polarity of freedom and control from within my childhood -- of not wanting to take self-responsibility for that which my step-dad addressed me to do because I wanted to do my own thing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to do my own thing because I did not want to look at what is best for all -- as per taking self-responsibility for the living and the non-living things because I perceived myself separate from non-living things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from non-living things because I never considered the whole, but only considered the whole as the definition of what I believed and perceived myself to be as a personality, but when I realized who I am equal to and one with all life -- still not want to take self-responsibility for the whole because I deified my personality growing up, and thus, rebel against taking self-responsibility for what is best for all based on wanting to keep my freedom as the personality alive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to keep my freedom as the personality alive -- which manifested the construct of and as 'rebellion' because of the fear of what I would be if I directed myself from a starting point equal to and one with what is best for all -- because what is best for all is that point wherein I have to drop my personality in favor for what is best for all, and see that as a point of control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define freedom as the personality based on 'energy' -- of which I desire to exist within and as 'energy' as my wants, needs, and desires -- of which I create a world system based on 'energy' for the sake of self-fulfillment -- of which what is best for all is abdicated in the name of / for the sake of self-satisfaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place / position my desires, wants, and needs separate from me, thus, seeing myself 'less-than' that which I want, need, and desire, and thus, believe that anything that goes against my pursuit of happiness (as the acquisition of my wants, needs, and desires) I denounce as a point of 'control' -- because I never realized that that which I define as 'control' I accepted to control me, and how I operate within this world, and thus realize that I have deified control -- rather than 'myself' that I believed and perceived myself to be in control of -- through rebellion.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize that rebellion is the projection of control defined as freedom of which I believe that I am existing within and as 'freedom' within rebellion, but didn't realize that I am simply allowing that point that I believe is 'controlling' -- the position to control ME through and as rebellion because I haven't taken responsibility to equalize myself with and as that which I defined as control. Thus, I commit myself to equalize myself with that which I defined as control through and as doing self-forgiveness for separating myself into two parts -- control and freedom -- rather than realizing that I am equal to and one with/as both control and freedom, that I have created a relationship to exist in separation -- not realizing that they are one and equal the same -- of which one became the cause and the other the effect -- based on the relationship -- rather than piecing the relationship back together again as a point of seeing, realizing, and understanding that the cause is the effect, and vice versa. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship where the cause is separate from the effect, thus, exist within and as separation from the cause and see the effect as a point of freedom -- wherein the freedom becomes the effect rather than both the cause and the effect -- which can only be established / created within and as self-honesty of piecing all relationships back together again into and as equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a such thing as freedom and control instead of realizing that I am one and equal as all life -- that that the only reason that freedom and control exists is because I have defined what freedom is and control is -- in separation from all life -- into and as a relationship pattern that I have separated myself from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself into relationship patterns -- to thing that I can do my own thing because I separated myself from my step-dad and my agreement partner based on not giving myself that freedom within equalizing myself with all life -- so instead, manifest freedom separate from me through my own wants, needs, desires that I separated myself from -- because I defined myself as a 'personality' trying to 'get' what I separated myself from as a want, need, and desire -- instead of realizing that I am here -- equal to and one with all life, and that that which I want, need, desire is that which doesn't even exist because all is here as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to do my own thing which entails not considering all of life -- and thus inform my agreement partner about some shorts that she also left on the bathroom counter with my clothes that I thought was hers, because of the belief that considering all of everything that is 'here' takes 'time' -- which I separated myself from, and too much 'thinking' that I also separated myself from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from 'time' -- because I haven't taken self-responsibility to equalize myself with time, and thus, I create consequence for myself in the form of reaction within the creation of freedom and control through and as competition of informing my agreement partner about some shorts that she also left on the bathroom counter with my clothes that I thought was hers.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from what is here as what is best for all, and to use 'too much thinking' as a justification of not taking self-responsibility because I haven't equalized myself with and as taking self-responsibility -- rather, I equalized myself with my own wants, needs, desires -- as a personality -- seeing self-responsibility as something separate -- because I'm using 'energy' to make the decision to actually 'look' at what it is that I have to take self-responsibility for -- rather than coming from a starting point of self-honesty -- within stopping all energy through and as deconstructing who I am as a personality that I don't want to let go of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of my personality because I have trusted my personality as the expression of me -- rather than realizing that it is within and through the personality that I create relationships to try to define the integrity of me instead of realizing that everything is already here, and that the creation of relationships is the creation of abdicating who I am as all life -- for 'energy' that is limited to only the relationships that I defined myself into and as.
I commit myself to equalize myself with and as what is best for all which entails the deconstructing of relationship patterns that I defined myself into and as -- which gives life to and as 'polarity' that I believe and perceive to be 'real' -- of which I search for 'freedom' in separation through and within rebellion -- not realizing that that which I defined as control is my creation -- concluding that I am control my own self, and creating experiences of rebellion as the illusion of 'running away' from my own creation that I defined as 'control'.
I commit myself to equalize myself with all of the non-living things -- that I perceive as not having any reasoning, perceptual, sensational, and sentient faculties because the position of and as the non-living things, and how I interact / handle them defines who I am in relation to how I interact with / carry myself. in relation to what is here as the environment.
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