12 May 2012

Day 20 | It Became Normal to Lie Everyday and We Don't Correct Ourselves

On Facebook at 10:30 AM CST and my agreement partner asked me what I was doing, but instead, I said that I was about to do my blog, but was on Facebook wanting to see who liked my posts. Within this point, I existed within time -- using the word 'about' to create a 'lie' that sounds 'valid' in order to cover up what I was really doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse words for my own sake of 'survival' as the 'personality/ego' -- that wants to survive for it's sake of wanting to abuse more within the lies that it speaks because me, as the 'personality/ego' didn't want to direct myself within the moment to be self-responsible for all words spoken, and all actions taken, thus, create time-loops as consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be 'liked', thus, form the foundation of self-dishonest within/as the participation in 'energy' so that I can get my 'fix' of happiness to remain the personality existent within polarity as emotions and feelings -- because I abdicated my self-trust for the sake of an energy rush which I made real within/as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie -- for the sake of wanting to remain self-dishonest within 'energy' that I have defined as who I am -- based on not taking self-responsibility to stop the illusion of energy, so I continued to exist within self-dishonesty and created relationships based on 'energy', and thus, make the 'personality' as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be -- real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as 'not real' thus, create the belief through relationships that I need 'energy' to be 'real' because I defined 'real' as that which makes me feel 'happy', 'complete', etc.
I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to exist within 'happiness' within relationships because I didn't give myself 'happiness' through creating a relationships with 'me' within/as self-honesty -- because I abdicated self-honesty for 'energy' because I defined 'energy' as 'life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed myself to abdicate me from 'life' through the belief that 'life' is 'energy' because I didn't make a 'life' decision to 'stand' as who I am and give myself direction within life -- within/as self-honesty, so I abused myself instead; I didn't want to realize that the truth was right in front of my eyes -- which is me -- because I made myself 'less-than' relationships in order to 'experience' being 'more-than' so I can 'feel powerful'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself 'power' through/as self-honesty which is not accepting and allowed myself to be enslaved by my thoughts, feelings, and emotions -- that which I allow to direct me in my world and reality instead of me standing as the directive principle of which I direct myself in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse time by using the word 'about' instead of using the words 'I am', thus, abusing time for my own benefit of remaining the mind within 'energy' supporting the polarity of 'like and 'dislike'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to remain in the polarity of 'like and 'dislike' through lying -- because I have defined myself based on other people 'liking' my posts on Facebook and others not 'liking' my posts on Facebook, thus create a relationship with that and validate me within 'ego' of wanting to be 'like' to feel as though I am doing the 'right' thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being 'liked' to 'doing the right thing'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am 'liked' on Facebook -- that I am existing within the 'right' personality to express to other 'personalities', and thus, form a 'lie' when I am asked what I am doing to hide the my self-dishonesty -- because I know in-fact, that I am existing within self-dishonesty when I am desiring to be 'liked' on Facebook, but do not want to stop it on my own for the sake of trying to find 'validation' within/as my 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to find 'validation' within/as my 'personality' because I 'invalidated' me as a 'personality' based on self-judgment, and based on wanting to be the 'personality' within what I do because it was what I have grown up to be and become, and thus, accept the history to the relationship with my own personality/ego as 'valid'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within time as consequence, because I created myself within/as the 'personality' to be the manifestation of 'consequence', and thus, trust 'consequence' as my 'expression'.

I commit myself to stop lying because I use lying as a cover-up in which I accept and allow myself to remain the 'personality' trusting 'likes', and 'dislikes' as the integrity of who I am.

I commit myself to use my words that I speak with 'specificity' -- not accepting and allowing myself to be subject to the mind of/as 'lies' of which I, within a lie, redefine the word within the context to fit my self-interested patterns of self-deception that I have placed value on -- instead of practically applying and living every word in a way that is 'best for all'.

I commit myself to redefine words in a way that's 'best for all' -- as a statement that I am using each word in a way wherein it is not engineered by the mind, but in-fact, the actual expression of self-honesty within practicality.

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