Day 19 | Early in the Morning

This morning when I barely woke up, I informed my agreement partner that I will do my blog for today, and asked if she could go to her computer. She then did self-forgiveness for defining the computer that she is normally on as 'her' computer, and the one that I am normally on as 'not hers', thus, within that, I reacted because I knew that I was existing within/as self-dishonesty when informing my agreement partner that I will do my blog on 'my' computer, but didn't realize that I was existing within/as possession. And also, it was early in the morning, so I wasn't "ready" to 'face' myself at that time because I wasn't directing me when I got up, but instead, I was existing within the 'personality' of 'comfortability'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give an allotted time to my process -- to believe that I only undergo my process when I am fully active and awake -- because I defined myself within 'time', and use 'time' as a measurement of self-dishonesty -- as I identify as the 'personality' as being 'subject' to time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time as an 'excuse' to not take self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist in my world and reality because I defined myself as a slave of money, thus make an excuse that it is okay for me to be the 'personality' during certain times of the day -- to rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in being subject to the 'day' based on my thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I have not directed during the day, thus exist within this point of validation -- validating who I am as a 'personality' (of thoughts, feelings, and emotions).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as 'less than' time, thus, believe that I cannot effectively do my process when going to sleep and waking up because that is the time that I allotted to 'rest'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to apply immediacy, but instead rather exist in time within the mind, and define myself as being subject to time because I was not 'immediate' in my application -- but rather embraced the 'comfortability' of the mind of not wanting to do anything and direct the moment -- validating the participation within/as the 'personality' as 'okay' during the 'waking' hours of the morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am 'resting' -- I am not 'equipped' to be in process at that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use 'rest' as an excuse to not take self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist in my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'rest' to the word 'freedom'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word 'personality' to the word 'rest'.

I forgive myself that I have a not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I make excuses based on 'time', I accept 'consequence' as me of which I create time-loops to live out -- prolonging my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'rest' as the 'personality', and thus, not want to be bothered when I am resting because I allotted that time to freely be the 'personality' resting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in 'possession' of things, thus see certain things as 'my' things and certain things as my agreement partner's things -- because within having my possession of 'my' things, I have the ability to do whatever I want out of self-interest -- to the computer because I didn't take heed -- that the computer is a being also.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the only one that exists in this world and reality, thus, have an aversion to not want to do some things that are considered, 'best for all' because I never taken consideration for anyone else, but my own pursuit of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue happiness because I defined myself within 'depression', thus, desire to remain in self-interest so I can be happy with myself, and anything that goes against that, I do consider because I chose to rather abuse everything else in order to exist in a state of comfortability and self-gratification.

I commit myself to -- when I wake up in the morning -- to not be an abuser of time, but instead, direct myself in that moment to move as 'immediacy' rather than the mind direct me.

I commit myself to -- treat everything as an equal to me because I realize that even though I might not be aware of everything in my reality -- whether it is aware or not, when I treat them as an equal, I also equalize myself with myself -- meaning that I take self-responsibility for everything that I direct myself to do -- making sure that starting point of what I do (for example -- getting a shirt from a hanger in the closet) matches the end point (which is hanging the shirt back up when I am done with it, or putting it properly in the 'soiled' clothing basket for it to be washed subsequently). If my starting point came from a point of self-dishonesty, I make sure that the 'ending point' ends with a statement of self-forgiveness, and a practical commitment of how I will correct myself in a future setting.

I commit myself to -- when I see myself go into a reaction, I stop, I breathe, and I let go, and immediately do self-forgiveness unconditionally without delay -- because to delay it, I am supporting the personality and creating a snowball-effect -- making the point bigger.