31 May 2012

Day 39 | The News

On 5/30/2012, my manager asked if I had voted yet. I informed my manager that I wasn't aware of any voting. She then asked if I live under a rock. At this point in time, I felt 'less-than' because I wasn't representing me as knowledge and information when it came to information about recent and important events reported newspapers, news magazines, or the television. So I want to do self-forgiveness for my relationship with the news.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'less-than' because don't watch the news as much as another individual may watch the news because of trying to be an 'example' of and as change in separation -- to show / prove to others that I am a 'changing' man -- when it comes to the process of self-forgiveness and self-honesty, and to believe that if I do not watch the news, then I am not effectively existing equal to and one with the media -- as per 'current events' -- instead of realizing that the news in and of itself is a tool that I can use as a reference within process to speak about how the events within the world denoted in the news -- align with how we as a collective, or how I as an individual have accepted and allowed myself / ourselves to exist in this world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch the news without any self-direction of looking at how I exist, and am accepting and allowing myself to be and become in relation to what is being portrayed in the news, but instead, watch the news only to acquire knowledge and information about the world -- instead of realizing that the news in and of itself is in-fact the reflection of humanity, as a collective, that has accepted and allowed the world, as system, to exist and thus be perpetuated -- as we become oblivious to and as consequence as the manifestation of news mirroring ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an automated system of which I mirror who I am as an automated system in this world and reality -- as manifested 'news' instead of taking apart the whole integrity of and as who I am in relation to the world -- as the 'world' within me -- as 'mind' -- which churns and churns, and manifests experiences as 'stories' which are not directed (or even seen / realized), but instead, participated in as a manifestation of 'personality' consisting of thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, etc. -- as I become the living seed of 'consequence' of which I regurgitate my self-dishonesties, and duplicate them in a way that consequence becomes externally manifested with the news as 'abuse'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'enjoy' the news -- because I enjoy consequence, and have become separate from consequence as I live-out the seed of consequence within me in every breath that I define as 'freedom' -- desiring to keep my space / country / neighborhood -- free, but never realized that in order to make something free -- means that war as violence, rape, robbery, has to be perpetuated because I, in relation to and as the world system have not stood up for such atrocities within and as this world because I have given my responsibilities into hope -- that the police will take care of them, and hope -- that the news will make someone want to become a hero to save the world -- because I dared not saving myself into and as a principle that stands for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'feel' for the victims within the news that are shot, murdered, stabbed, raped, robbed instead of doing something about it, but believe that I can't because of belief that one man cannot save the world -- which is right, but I have not considered that I can save myself -- as the world within me of which I accept and allow to be perpetuated as the 'mirror' of and as the system that is duplicated over and over again through sex to the extent that it is seen as 'normal' to watch the news and not do anything about it -- because I, as myself and the world system, have given up on the atrocities, and abuse in this world system because I allowed money to 'rule' me, and thus, manifest feelings of sadness -- thinking that I am doing something about the world system within my cry as showing sympathy -- instead of realizing that within very that is like laughing at the ones that have become victims of consequence as experiences in this world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the news as a 'treasure' -- something that is brung to every household to help us see what is going on in the world -- because the news has become a luxury -- which is equal to and one with making the statement that the ones that are shot, murdered, stabbed, raped, robbed, etc. are like the animals at the zoo behind cages that cry for freedom, but can't be heard because they cannot be understood by our limited sense, but smile at them, and love them for looking cute -- equal to and one with what the news represents for us -- because of the tacit statement made that we are unable to change what has been accepted and allowed in this reality -- so the news gives up hope that someone can -- as every child that comes in to this world comes in already genetically fucked up with this brainwashing, and taught to live out a life of manipulation -- as the perpetuation of 'love' as life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the fact that in every moment, I manifest the news within and as me within my physical body -- that becomes locked into and as specific movements directed by my mind of which the news becomes manifested as my thoughts, my feelings, me emotions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, memories, etc. about the world -- creating an existence within me based on knowledge and information of which I only see within the world from that point of and as knowledge and information which represents who I am as what I have defined myself as -- as a personality that has apparently -- 'freedom of choice' -- which is the illusion that has been given to me and me only me  indirectly through and as the abuse of another -- because I didn't realize that we as all as one is in this life together, and that in order for someone to exist in a glorified state of living (with money), means that others have to be abused in the name of that which we -- as all as one and equal have separated ourselves from (as money) as we have given life to money, and created death as us as ego which is perpetuated in the news as fear, and in my physical body as 'energy'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as 'energy', and thus support the news through and as my participation in this world and reality -- in and as the apparent living standards that I give myself that are based on entertainment, survival, and knowledge and information -- of which I cycle through over and over again -- calling that 'life', and want to protect that which I possess as a television, a radio -- that are made by the hands of another who has to sacrifice their life for another in which I manipulated my life in such as way to create the illusion of 'peace' because I feared what it takes to actually birth life here as what is best for all.

I commit myself to -- when I watch the news -- see, realize, and understand what is being denoted in the news and use that within my process of how that relates to me -- as the relationship patterns that I created within and as me as 'personality' within process, or use what is being shown in this world and reality to give my perspective on it in a way wherein I am able to exercise common-sense to show what we, as a collective, have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as -- thus, I become equal to and one with the news -- taking self-responsibility to see the common-sense points and discuss common-sense values that can be implemented.

I commit myself to show that the news is nothing but a regurgitation of has been accepted and allowed to exist -- and to support change within this world and reality as what is best for all -- to change the news in a way that it denotes change as equality.

I commit myself to support a new system that stands for what is best for all so there doesn't have to be a news that regurgitates the abuse in this world -- but that this point of and as the 'news' no longer exists, but that the news is restructured to only denote that which is life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to align with that which has become the 'news' within me as my thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, memories, etc. -- to align with these points that I may direct these points to equalize myself with what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and thus, change my inner-nature through and as self-forgiveness, and self-honest -- to bring about a world that is best for all -- wherein each being is able to duplicate this point -- eventually creating 'Heaven on Earth' which will be the 'news' of life.

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