I was on Facebook looking at recent activity, and I realized that someone mentioned my name on their Facebook page. I went to see who it was and I read "Leon Perry my nigga forever." -- which is basically a slang term that means -- I am his friend forever. I, within this moment, got excited and felt 'special' because someone specialized me as a friend forever. I didn't realize the word before the words "Leon Perry" which was the actual first name -- which means that words 'Leon Perry' was tagged to my Facebook profile, but he was actually talking about another person that has the name 'Leon Perry' included into his name. I realized that within this experience how I separated myself from my own name because I defined the entirety of who I am based on my name.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationships with my name: Leon Perry, and thus exist within and as emotions and feelings towards my name based on my relationship that I have form with the words 'Leon Perry' -- of which I, within this relationship, declare myself as a limited being based on the pre-programming of words as interactions that I connect to the words 'Leon Perry' -- that gives me life as a being within this world and reality -- to function with all of the beings that are connected to words as 'names' of which emotions and feelings are connected to for the sake of feeling important.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all of my relationships come from a starting point of how I defined myself to exist as within this world and reality with words -- and the not see the relationships that I formed with the words as my first and last name -- that I gave power over me to direct me within this world and reality of which I have defined the foundation of and as me based on my name that I live out and give to others as 'first impression' -- as Leon Perry -- the organic robot as 'personality' that has been developed based on my relationship with pictures, words, and colors that I have gave life / meaning to -- in separation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself separate from my own name, thus, exist within the point of 'not feeling special' of which I generate energy from within the expanding of my name through relationships with others in order to feel 'special' -- thus giving / seeing my name 'more meaning' as the collection of relationships that defined who I am in relation to my name -- instead of realizing that I am 'here', and thus within existing within wanting / desiring to 'feel special' is me declaring me within and as 'limitation' of what 'feeling special' means based on the agreement that I formed with others in this world and reality that generates the meaning of the word 'special' -- that becomes the 'life' as 'energy' as 'love' within a starting point of the fear of 'death'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to specialize my name based on my childhood of how I defined myself as -- in relation to my name as 'special' of how I believed that I came from a past life, and that I am here to exist within a different form, and birth myself from the physical. I, within this belief, perceived myself as 'more-than' based on 'competition' with other people that claim to be 'spiritual' -- from a starting point of perceiving myself as 'less-than' based on how I judged me in relation to the physical as not being able to see the things I used to see when I was a child. I, within this, forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'more-than' based on the experience that I had at a young age as my mom was holding me -- could see things that she couldn't see, and thus, use that to specialize who I am as 'Leon Perry' as 'more-than' / 'special' -- and believe that because of those experiences, I am here for a special reason -- to tell others about what's really going on in this world (in separation).
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a 'chosen one' as 'Leon Perry' -- based on my childhood of how I defined myself as 'special' -- when I was with my grandmother and aunt praying at an initial point of my time of getting 'saved' as a Christian. And during that time of praying with them, copy them by speaking in tongues -- of which I form a relationship with -- creating 'energy' -- of which I then feel in my solar-plexus, 'energy' as feelings that heighten my experience. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'special' when I saw olive oil on my hands as a form of 'blessing' of which my grandmother and aunt got excited and told me that I have God's favor on my life, thus, specialize who I am as 'Leon Perry' because of the belief that I have God's favor on me / within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on how I believe that I uniquely attract men as friends easily, but repel females easily -- because I defined this attraction and repelling as a 'program', and specialized that program within me by creating a name for the 'energy' that repels females as Greenwichë, and seeing that as an ability of being able to form relationships with energy that I am accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as -- in my world and reality -- instead of stopping all participation within and as 'energy' that I use to define me within this world and reality as 'Leon Perry' -- that has become two words that I have abused for the sake of remaining alive as the 'personality' because of the fear of not existing if I am not able to form relationships in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on what my grandmother told me when I was young -- about being able to play the piano well, and to believe that since I am able to play it by 'ear', I am 'special' and 'gifted' as 'Leon Perry' wherein I make an attempt to copy this specialness onto and as 'everything' within competition with myself of being able to be gifted as 'everything' -- in order to give effective meaning to being 'special' as 'Leon Perry'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on what a friend of mine told me, that I have talented creation abilities -- of being able to create something and be effective in that creation -- of which I use 'creation' to specialize who I am as Leon Perry, and that if I am unable to create something for a long time, then fear 'losing' that who I believe I am as 'Leon Perry' -- instead of realizing that I am not defined by my creation ability, and that I am not separate from it, but have used my creation to create in separation -- instead of re-creating who I am in every moment within and as all relationships and all definitions that give life to the organic robot as 'Leon Perry' that I have defined myself as -- re-creating myself from 'nothingness' of which I have to deconstruct all patterns as thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, and beliefs that give life to who I am as 'Leon Perry'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on my creation ability of being able to draw Mickey Mouse in the 4th grade well -- of which became the first point of which I began to realize my creation abilities / talents, and thus, within all of the positive feedback that I got from it -- along with the privilege to walk across the hallway to show my other teach based on how my teacher liked it, I formed a relationship (in separation) form that event, and defined myself as 'special', and more-than others based on my positive feedback -- of which I carried with myself as my name 'Leon Perry' as a talented artist, and feared losing that talent when I got into an agreement because of the point of challenging all aspects of me (including my creation talents) within the point of survival (for money) and food.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on how I specialized 'logic', and see logic as establishing coherence within/as all relationship-points that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and when I got into an agreement, I reacted to my agreement partner because I couldn't express that coherency based on the realization that logic is of the mind as it is a point of allocating who I am as a 'personality' to effectively function as a 'personality' with others -- aligning my thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, memories, etc. in the most coherent matter to not 'see' what I am accepting and allowing myself to be and become in my daily participations because I defined myself within my relationship points / patterns -- as being coherent / logical' -- as the mind-defined 'perfection'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' as 'Leon Perry' based on me being Destonian -- because I separated myself from the word Destonian into and as an 'ego' point representing change as me, but didn't realize that I cannot change me through and within knowledge and information -- no matter how much knowledge that I acquired from Eqafe, or through the Desteni forums -- it is for me to use that which has been acquired as knowledge and information as reference -- as a point of birthing myself from the physical -- which consists of undefining all aspects of me of which I created the definition of who and how I defined myself as -- in relationship to my name -- that I use as the stability point of and as me as a 'personality' -- to live and grow effectively as 'energy' -- not realizing that I limit myself to and as 'energy' as relationships from and within a foundation of emotions and feelings that are consistent of and existent as a framework of self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being effective in my process of stopping my mind because I know that I haven't been fully self-honest within and as my process of stopping my mind -- as the process of deconstructing everything that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and thus, within this, generate 'fear' and see that point of fear as being 'real' of which I project that fear onto an 'experience' of seeing my name as 'special' when someone mentioned my name in a comment -- and within this, not see that I justified who I am as a 'personality' that exists in self-dishonesty in my process of stopping my mind as a manifestation of fear that manifested the experience of feeling 'special'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within laziness and procrastination -- within the point of fear of conflict, of being exposed and judged for who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the 'ego / personality' -- that consists of and exists as that which I made real and created the point of procrastination as a point of justification to protect my standing within and as 'ego' -- instead of evaluating all points wherein I am not directing myself effectively -- that births the point of procrastination as an 'experience'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be another picture -- as an Arabic that I believed I was when I heard that my last name 'Perry' is of Arabic origin in middle school -- because what triggered that was me wanting to be 'special' within and as another picture-representation within and as 'competition' -- seeing a particular specific picture / race 'more special' than another picture / race of which I gave value to both within/as opposite polarities -- giving positive value to something that is 'different' than my picture-representation that I judged as having negative value -- instead of realizing that through judging myself based on my picture-representation as a 'black' make, I give value to other pictures as physical bodies that becomes the basis of who I am as all of my relationships that I create with and as others within this world and reality.
I commit myself to investigate all points as relationships that I created with and as my name that constitute the value that I give myself in this world and reality, and thus within investigating who I am in relation to my name, commit myself to stop, breathe, and let go of that which have become the foundation of who I am in relation to the words 'Leon Perry' -- to stand as the directive principle of and as practical change -- being, becoming, and moving within/as the starting-point of what's best for all life as a redefining of relationship-integrity.
I commit myself to see/realize/understand how I created relationships with words, and seen those relationships a part of me because I separated myself from what is 'here' for the sake of existing within the mind as relationships -- which allows me to fulfill my self-interested pursuits of happiness that were only generated by, through and as the words that gave my experiences 'power' to direct me in my world and reality. Although, I wanted to fulfill my self-interested pursuits of happiness, I, within this, never realized that I was directed by the very experiences that I created.
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