Day 23 | Self-Forgiveness

Photo by JJesus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am being 'wronged' within what I do, thus resist doing self-forgiveness instead of realizing that within the very point of feeling as if I am being 'wronged' is a point of self-interest wherein I accept and allow myself as the mind to take away the very life of and as me for the sake of wanting to survive as a personality searching for energy forevermore, and dying as 'energy' rather than becoming life in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay within/as all of the relationship patterns that I created within and as me -- giving me the illusion of a life 'directed' as I define life based on my energetic composition of/as my 'personality' of which I use to abuse myself and abuse others for the sake of thriving in energy of which I defined myself existing within/as it as 'free' -- rather than realizing that for the sake of self-satisfaction, I am slowly removing myself from this physical existence of which I have the opportunity to become 'life' as who I really am -- that is not limited to 'energy' of the mind as relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make relationships important of which became the 'life' of me, thus, resist self-forgiveness because of not wanting to give up the relationships that I created within myself -- as I become the very manifestation of limitation -- only seeing and adhering to that which makes me happy because I didn't realize that I am 'here', and thus, happiness became an 'engine' that drove my 'life' as 'energy' -- consistent of feelings and emotions that I define as my 'expression'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect self-forgiveness with religion, and thus, to see self-forgiveness as just another religious practice instead of realizing that within connecting self-forgiveness to religion, I, as the personality exist as the memories that I have limited myself to as the relationship that I had with religion, thus, not really looking at anything else, whether it makes common-sense or not, because I have become the very integrity of the aversion that I had for Christianity -- which was really the aversion for that particular construct that represented within me the search for freedom, thus, seeing myself 'separate' from freedom, and believing that I can attain it through a being that I forced myself to believe in this existence -- instead of taking self-responsibility to birth me as 'freedom' -- freedom from that which I defined myself into/as what I defined as the 'life' of me as my thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, believes, memories, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself see anything that doesn't agree with my 'personality expression' as a ritualistic practice, thus, see self-forgiveness as a ritualistic practice because I did not actually want to change within doing self-forgiveness, thus, do self-forgiveness from the mind's perspective to say that I did it, and not correct myself accordingly because I accepted and allowed myself to rather exist within 'energy' and wanting 'energy' to fulfill me as the relationships that I form within this reality with other people that gives me a reason to exist and enjoy myself in an illusion that I created while the rest of the world is left to starve and die for my sake of pleasure.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take self-responsibility in every moment in applying myself effectively through self-forgiveness because I placed trust in 'time' to take responsibility for me to force myself to change within it because I didn't want to direct myself as self-change, and within that, exist as a subject to time, and thus give my process to time of which I come to believe that I am still 'in process' when I have given my process to time rather than myself equal and one. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is the same process of being a subject to a godhead entity within a particular religion to not want to take direct responsibility for what has been accepted and allowed to exist within/as this world, but to give responsibility to something else 'out there' that has an existence that is not consistent with this physical reality, thus, sabotage myself within this point, and abuse self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to halfway do my process -- doing self-forgiveness, but not applying myself effectively in practical reality through/as watching my physical movements that I have separated from -- which became automated -- as I have become the 'personality' that has given 'life' to all that I have defined myself as within/as relationships -- manifesting the robot that I have become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my movements are mine -- instead of realizing that my movements are the very manifestation of all of the patterns within/as me as the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions, perceptions, ideas, and beliefs that I have about myself. Thus, when I do self-forgiveness, justify why self-forgiveness is not necessary in some instances such as within the specific movements that I make -- because defined my particular specific movements as the 'expression' of me and believe that if I am unable to move a certain way, I won't be able to express myself effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my 'expression' is who I am because I developed that 'trust' with myself as who I am because I am still 'here' and 'alive' with it -- as it. Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the 'death' of me as my 'expression' that I have manifested through and as forming relationships to 'pictures' that I perceived 'separate' from me because the death represents the death of my 'ego' as 'expression' of which I use to get only what I want out of it which is 'energy' as 'pleasure' as the 'nectar' of 'life' as the 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have a not accepted and allowed myself to place trust within self-forgiveness 'separate' from me, and to believe that I am able to 'transcend' who I am as 'personality' by only doing self-forgiveness, but not effectively applying myself practically in this world and reality -- because I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a world of fantasy in my mind of which I am the 'superman', and thus, super-impose that 'superman personality' onto and in the 'physical' where I sabotage myself within this belief -- instead of doing self-forgiveness for forming relationships within/as my mind of which I use to create my definition of who I am or what I can be -- as manifested manipulative thinking processes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about who I am in relation to this world and reality, and what I can be and/or become -- as manifested manipulative thinking processes that only exist within/as time, and thus, be subject to time as 'money', and also, have an aversion for doing self-forgiveness for this point because I see it as a 'valid' point as self-identification -- instead of realizing that who I am in relation to this world and reality is not real because not even my movements are real, and if I accept and allow myself to form reaction to anything, then I know that I am subject to that very thing which actually gives me 'life' as 'energy'. Thus, if I allow that reaction within/as me, and not correct myself accordingly, I create a time-loop which manifests the very definition of who I am, and what I can be and/or become because I am always time-looping into/as the same cycles that I haven't directed in and through the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place 'reason' over self-forgiveness of which I use to justify who I am as a 'personality' based on how I defined myself existing within/as 'experiences' -- instead of realizing that my reasoning/logic is the very outflow manifestation of all of my personality patterns that came together of which I created an awareness, and from that awareness as how I see things, reason my points of observations which are only 'real' to me and no one else. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that through and within observing, my observations are based only on my own mind-projections that are projected onto/as the physical reality of which I am unable to see in it's unadulterated form because of the relationships that I formed into form as a mind relationship to the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that self-forgiveness can not do anything for me because I separated myself forgiveness, thus, placed trust within/as it in separation instead of directing myself within/as self-forgiveness to apply myself effectively as self-correction application of which I, within/as speaking self-forgiveness, make self-forgiveness 'real' and  formidable.

I commit myself to do self-forgiveness from the starting point of humbleness because when I have reasons to not do self-forgiveness, I know that I am existing within/as self-dishonesty because it is me as the movements of/as my 'personality' that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the very 'nature' of me -- that resists doing self-forgiveness because I placed trust within my very automated energetic and physical movements that I defined as me as within life and living.

I commit myself to -- when doing self-forgiveness, also apply myself practically in this physical reality instead of doing empty self-forgiveness statements that actually becomes a 'mantra' as a ritual that I perform daily without any self-correction to stop the automations within me as the very life that I have given in place of who I really am within/as directing myself in this world and reality.