Day 17 | Complaining

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'complaining' with freedom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a 'personality' of believing that I don't have control over the events that I participate in, thus, within this belief, manifest complaining as a point of giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the polarity of 'control' and 'no control', thus, attempt to 'control' my experiences as the 'personality', and when I am not effectively controlling an event, manifest 'complaining' as a point of giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from an 'event', thus, exist separate from an event -- manifesting backchat, internal conversations, and reactions to attempt to 'control' the event, and when I am not successful, manifest 'complaining' as a point of justifying my backchat, internal conversations, and reactions within the mind so I can remain the 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am unable to prepare the raw food that my agreement partner was asking me to do effectively, thus, exist within 'complaining' as the manifestation of not equalizing myself with the moment 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the 'experience' of me to create my 'standing' within it, thus, be driven by 'energy' as thoughts, feelings and emotions, and manifest complaining as a point of giving up within my position within 'experience' -- because I judged the experience as 'more than'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the point of self-judgment within defining myself as 'less than' because I have not stood one and equal as my experiences within my world and reality, thus, use 'control' to compensate for my self-dishonesty -- remaining self-dishonest within that compensation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more I speak, the more 'free' I am, thus, seeing complaining as a point of freedom because I have defined myself as a 'personality' within 'freedom' and 'no freedom'.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define me as a 'personality' and when I speak, the 'personality' speaks -- defining that personality as the 'expression' of/as me. Thus, when I am not speaking, I defined that 'not speaking' as not 'expressing' myself as the 'personality' because I have connected 'freedom' to being the 'personality' instead of realizing that I am not the 'personality' -- which is who I am as a 'reaction' to this world and reality that I participated in within thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept me as the 'personality' of that which I defined myself as being 'trapped' in -- instead of taking self-responsibility to direct all parts of me as actual freedom within self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self-interest -- as the manifestation of feeling 'trapped' -- because I accepted and allowed myself as a 'personality' to be enslaved to all of that which created the 'experience' of being 'trapped' -- instead of stopping all relationships that I created that makes me 'feel' trapped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, thus, believe that I am 'trapped' in this world and reality because I haven't taken self-responsibility to stop all points within me that I have allowed to direct me because I haven't directed myself, thus, manifest the belief that I am 'trapped' as the 'personality' instead of committing myself to change myself within self-forgiveness, and self-honesty, and correcting all points of me that exists within back-chat, internal conversations and reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'desire' to be 'free, thus, exist separate from 'desire' and use complaining as a justification to remain the personality within 'desire'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain when there was too much sauce on my food when I was eating raw food on 5/8/2012, and not practically adjust the amount of sauce on my food because I considered that within complaining, I will get something out of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself, thus, using complaining as an 'expression' of this 'feeling sorry' so that I can 'feel good' as the 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect 'energy' to 'satisfaction', thus, desire to 'get something out' of something else in order to experience the 'energy' of satisfaction because I didn't give myself self-satisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very point of complaining is due to anger that exists within me -- of which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within self-interest -- being angry for not standing up and stopping the very relationship points that I defined myself as in relation to my position in the world.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the very act of being angry is the very act of me showing to myself that I have not directed my relationships effectively in this world and reality, thus, exist within complaining as an outflow of anger through giving up on myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to please others through the very act of feeling guilty, and then later on, express anger as a point of not directing my relationship with 'pleasing others' as a manifestation of self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the personality of 'guilt' as a point of feeling guilty through the belief that made someone else 'react' by the choices that I made -- thus, accept 'reaction' as real, guilt as real, and the personality as the 'suit' of self-interest as real -- because I have not 'moved' myself within/as the physical as what is here, thus, trusted that which is not real -- which is my personality -- to make the decision for me -- so I can continue to exist in/as 'energy'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying as the 'personality', thus become 'angry' as a point of 'depression' because I have accepted and allowed myself to remain the 'personality' in which I use 'complaining' within certain situations as a point of 'giving up' on directing myself within as a certain 'event' where I am thus freely sabotaging myself into/as a mind-fuck that I generated through self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that complaining is the out-flow of self-interest -- of which I use complaining as a 'fail-safe' -- to 'reason' why I am not directing a particular situation in my life, thus, make that situation 'real' -- because I made the 'personality' real in-fact.

I commit myself to stop all points of complaining as that which I have defined as 'freedom' to compensate for what I believed myself to be as a 'personality' trapped within/as my 'experiences' that I created myself.