Women and Emotions

Within my world and reality, I defined femininity and masculinity as something being used as a point of 'expression' within beings, but what I didn't realize is that what creates masculinity and femininity are predominantly psychological in nature wherein external 'pictures' are used that helps in the creation of how masculinity and femininity are defined. If one looks at a flower, one would say that it would look good on a female, in general, because over the progression of years, specific pictures have been used to shape the definition of gender identity and how it is expressed within the world. Thus, the sum of humanity's judgement to/towards each other through pictures have given rise to a friction, which is a state of conflict between people, that has been stabilized and defined as masculinity and femininity. Albeit all judgment always starts from within. Thus, it was one's self-judgments that gave rise to how one acts and reacts as a male or female with other males and females.

So I procured a belief wherein I changed the integrity of how I exist based on that belief and delved into gender transgression through changing my identity to fit what I thought was the perfect balanced gender identity. I believed the perfect gender was that of a mixture of masculine and feminine qualities. The gender would have the strength of a male, but the 'feminine' characteristics of a female. This point was tacitly developed within/as my involvement with both genders within the world as I subsequently and mathematically developed my 'perfect' gender as a point of self-judgment based on how I judged my own characteristics. I did not initially see that I was actually engineering the perfect gender identity as a point of covering up my own self-dishonesty. The self-dishonest point was changing the structure of my personality as what I believed and perceived myself to be defective within my behaviors and characteristics and changing it into another 'personality' that I thought to be more 'perfected'. But this, I didn't realize was a point of not facing myself, but actually trying to change myself exterior-wise rather than from within -- through self-forgiveness.

Within/as my times growing up, I developed a belief that women are weaker than men, from an emotional perspective because women tend to be slightly more emotionally heightened from my experience around women. I was always hesitant of having a relationship with a female because I never did want to participate in the emotions within a relationship. I didn't understand what we had to be emotional about. I always wanted a relationship wherein we were both clear at all times because emotions and feelings seem to put a veil on what's really going on within the relationship. That's why within my life, I created imaginary girlfriends that were created with little or no emotional qualities.

In men, I found the quality of having opinions about how a man should behave as a 'man, to be a primary weakness in men wherein 'rules' are setup tacitly which defines how a man should behave. Some of these rules are:

1) Men don't cry.
2) Men don't wear pink.
3) Men don't wear dresses.
4) Men don't play with dolls.
5) Men don't have long hair.
6) Men suppose to be rough.
7) Men suppress their emotions.
8) Men don't put their hands on their hips.
9) Men don't have limp wrists.

So men that do not have these characteristics are seen as 'real men' within parts of the male community, but I see it as a weakness because if a man is unable to do one/some/all of these characteristics, it creates a weakness -- as a man becomes defined within/as a specific personality construct called 'masculinity' and becomes a slave to it.

Within the strength of the male, I saw stability and virility, and within the strength of the female, I saw as being unstressed which gives expression to the softness attribute (as femininity). So thus, I fused the strengths of the male and female characteristics together, and became con-fused because I conned myself into believing that what I was doing was real, but was only a belief -- using two fake personalities known as 'the feminine personality' and 'the masculine personality', and fusing them together to create another 'personality' which is just as fake as 'masculinity' and 'femininity'. Until we stop defining ourselves within/as femininity, masculinity, and all personality points, the world will always be a fake place with walking organic robots, called humans, that define themselves as feminine, masculine, or gender variant.

Points I Saw Within This That I Can Direct Through Self -Forgiveness:

• Having an aversion for women because of their emotions
• Judging women as not being able to see with 'clarity' the actuality of this world / reality because of their emotional sensitivity
• Existing within the 'personality' of having an 'aversion' for women and their emotion
• Belief that I have things in control in this world based on my perceived point of being 'stoic'
• Liking women because of their 'unstressed' attitude which gives expression to the softness attribute
• Liking men because of their stability and virility
• Liking to watch movies with women that have masculine attributes (such as Resident Evil)
• Liking to watch movies with men that have feminine attributes (such as Ma Vie En Rose)
• Having an aversion for men because of their judgments about how men should present themselves
• Belief that masculinity and femininity is real and incorporating both characteristics into what I perceive as the 'perfect' gender to fulfill my views that I have about gender identity.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an aversion for women because of their emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge women as not being able to see with 'clarity' the actuality of this world / reality because of their emotional sensitivity to themselves and the world instead of realizing that when and as I see myself judging women based on their emotional sensitivity, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this judgment gives me a reason to justify who I am as the mind and how I perceive myself as 'stable' and 'sound' because of me being stoic. I do not accept or allow myself to judge women as not being able to see with 'clarity' the actuality of this world / reality. I do not accept or allow myself to support the personality of being 'stoic' as a polarity of being emotional. This is not best for me because I remain enslaved to the polarity of emotions and no emotions, and this is not best for all because it creates a world of polarity wherein relationships are allowed to exist within/as point of 'abuse' in which we use to justify our ego. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the 'personality' of having an 'aversion' for women and their emotions instead of realizing that having an 'aversion' for women and their emotions exists because I have not forgiven the point of me existing within the point of perceiving myself 'more than' women because of me perceiving myself as stable. When and as I see myself existing in this judgment, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this, gives me a reason to feel 'special' within judging women as 'less than' because they are seemingly 'more emotional' than me and thus judging me as 'more than' because I am 'less emotional'. I do not accept or allow myself to exist within the 'personality' of having an 'aversion' for women and their emotions. I do not accept or allow myself to exist within the point of perceiving myself 'more than' women because of me perceiving myself as more 'stable' because of lack of emotions. I do not accept or allow myself to feel 'special' within judging women as 'less than' because they are seemingly 'more emotional' and judging me as 'more than' because I am 'less emotional'. This is not best for me because it allows me to feel special as the personality in which I diminish the integrity of who I am based on the desire to be special as feeling 'in control' of things. This is not what is best for all because it supports the point of 'specialness' to exist as a form of deception wherein specialness is allowed to be sold as a polarity point of being 'more than' which perpetuates friction within the world. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have things in control in this world based on my perceived point of being 'stoic' instead of realizing that when and as I see myself believe that I have things in control in this world based on my perceived point of being 'stoic, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this belief gives me a sense of control as the 'personality' being in control rather than 'me' in control. I do not accept or allow myself to exist within 'control' and 'no control'. I do not accept or allow myself to exist within the definition of being 'stoic' or being 'emotional'. This is not best for me because I depend on a personality point as being 'stoic' to give me a sense of control'. This is not best for all because it allows a world to exist that is dependent on something or someone in which the 'collective' is controlled by. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'like' women because of their seemingly 'unstressed' attitude which gives 'expression' to what I perceive as their 'softness' attribute (as femininity) instead of realizing that the softness of a female is a personality construct that I perceive in separation of/as who I am. When and as I see myself existing within 'liking' women because of an attribute that I perceived myself 'separate' from, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this gives me a purpose to seek out femininity as what I believe is an expression in order to become fulfilled, and also to see women and to desire relationships with them in separation -- in order to fulfill the point of femininity within/as me. I do not accept or allow myself to 'like' women because of their 'unstressed' attitude which gives expression to what I perceive as their 'softness' attribute (as femininity). I do not accept or allow myself to form a purpose to seek out femininity as what I believe is an expression in order to become fulfilled because of the belief that I am not fulfilled if I am not able to express feminine traits or have a relationship with a female that is feminine. This is not what is best for me because within existing within likes and dislikes, I create a personality based on that like as I exist in separation from what is here (which is not conformed to what I 'like' and what I 'dislike'). This is not best for all because it creates a world based on relationships of liking and disliking -- specializing a being as more than another being thus creating friction within/as the world as a 'system' of warfare. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'like' men because of their stability and virility instead of realizing that stability and virility is who I am in every moment of breath not defined within/as masculinity. When and as I see myself 'liking' men based on their stability and virility, I stop; I breathe; I let go, and realize that supporting the point of liking men exists because of their stability and virility gives me a way to specialize men as 'more than', and to 'like' that point because they appear to have more 'control' over themselves -- instead of realizing that the actual point of perceiving men in control of themselves is because I have separated myself from stability and virility, and specialized men from women based on their physical and chemical makeup because I have not taken responsibility to direct the point of control one and equal, but have externalized it into/as definitions and 'images' separate from me -- thus becoming possessed by what it means to be stable and virile in the world. I do not accept or allow myself to 'like' men because of their stability and virility. I do not accept or allow myself to specialize men as 'more than' based on their perceived stability and virility. This is not best for me because I limit myself to an 'observation' that is constructed and birthed from self-judgment. This is not best for all because I allow myself as a system to support a world system based on judgment. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to watch movies with women that have masculine attributes (such as Resident Evil) instead of realizing that the movies that I watch with women that have masculine attributes is a reflection of me combining masculine and feminine traits (which are not real) and creating another gender identity (which is not real) -- living a fabricated lie. When and as I see myself engaged in the 'energy' of watching movies with women that have or portray masculine attributes, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this gives me a reason to remain engaged within/as 'gender identity' that I perceive as my expression. I do not accept or allow myself to become energetically engaged in the watching of movies with women that have or portray masculine attributes. I do not accept or allow myself to define who I am based on an actor or actress that seemingly defies the 'normative' gender of their physical assignment. This is not best for me because I create points that I believe that are real, but are not real -- living a lie based on/as 'energy' through/within/as gender identity. This is not best for all because I allow myself as a system to support a world system based on 'energy'. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to watch movies with men that have feminine attributes (such as Ma Vie En Rose) instead of realizing that the movies that I watch with men that have feminine attributes is a reflection of me combining masculine and feminine traits (which are not real) and creating another gender identity (which is not real) -- living a fabricated lie. When and as I see myself engaged in the 'energy' of watching movies with men that have or portray feminine attributes, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this gives me a reason to remain engaged within/as 'gender identity' that I perceive as my expression. I do not accept or allow myself to become energetically engaged in the watching of movies with men that have or portray feminine attributes. I do not accept or allow myself to define who I am based on an actor or actress that seemingly defies the 'normative' gender of their physical assignment. This is not best for me because I create points that I believe that are real, but are not real -- living a lie based on/as 'energy' through/within/as gender identity. This is not best for all because I allow myself as a system to support a world system based on 'energy'. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to watch movies with women that have masculine attributes (such as Resident Evil) instead of realizing that the movies that I watch with women that have masculine attributes is a reflection of me combining masculine and feminine traits (which are not real) and creating another gender identity (which is not real) -- living a fabricated lie. When and as I see myself engaged in the 'energy' of watching movies with women that have or act with masculine attributes, I stop; I breathe; I let go and realize that supporting this gives me a reason to remain engaged within/as 'gender identity' that I perceive as an expression. I do not accept or allow myself to become energetically engaged in the watching of movies with women that have or act with masculine attributes. I do not accept or allow myself to define who I am based on an actor or actress that defies the 'normative' gender of their physical assignment. This is not best for me because I create points that I believe that are real, but are not real -- living a lie based on/as 'energy' through/within gender identity. This is not best for all because I allow myself as a system to support a world system based on 'energy'. Therefore, I stop my participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have an aversion for men because of their judgments about how men, in general, should present themselves instead of realizing that I have placed myself 'less than' that judgment as the reaction that I formed with it. When and as I see myself having an aversion for someone based on their judgments about someone else, I stop; I breathe, I let go, and realize that supporting this point gives me a reason to have an aversion as a point that I have given 'life' to -- to move me. I do not accept or allow myself to have an aversion for men because of their judgments about how men, in general, should present themselves. This is not best for me because I allow myself to continue to participate in desire and aversion based on placing myself as 'less than' that which I have formed a relationship to in separation. This is not best for all because I allow myself as a system to support a world based on desire and aversion as points that become the 'flow' of deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that masculinity and femininity is real and thus to incorporate both characteristics into what I perceive as the 'perfect' gender to fulfill my views that I have about gender identity.