Today (August 10th 2011), I decided to turn on some Christmas music when driving to eat out with "J" at a restaurant. It was getting late, and my span of choices were 'running out', so I decided on the 'random act of madness' of Christmas in August.
This was my starting point, but once I started listening to the music, energetic points started to emerge of me hanging out with my family when I was younger on Christmas Day. When I was younger, I had a good time hanging out with my family on Christmas. I remember one Christmas day; it was sunny outside, and I was playing a video game called 'Super Mario World' with my step-dad. My mom and my step-dad were together back then, and we had a lot of presents under the tree. We went out that day over our family's for Christmas. So I did self-forgiveness for associating the integrity of who I am / how I exist with the past. I also did self-forgiveness for believing that who I am is suppose to be the 'personality' that I 'expressed' at that time -- instead of realizing that I am not defined by the 'personality' of who I was and who I am now, but am simplistically the breath 'here' in every moment. So it was some cool self-forgiveness points on associations and beliefs.
Points I Saw Within This:
- To associate the moment 'here' with an energetic point in the past with/as the relationship of the 'Christmas Spirit'
- To perceive Christmas as 'real'
- To perceive the 'Christmas Spirit' as 'real'
- To associate Christmas with a memory of being with my family
- To associate 'Christmas' music with a memory of being with my family
- To associate 'Christmas' music with the 'Christmas Spirit' (which is not real)
- To associate a moment defined as 'Christmas' to relaxation
- To associate 'Christmas' music as a time to relax
- To associate Christmas with my childhood
- To associate 'Christmas' music with my childhood
- Belief that I 'missed' Christmas times with my family
- Belief that I 'missed' childhood times with my family
- To associate the video game 'Super Mario World' with good times with my family.
- To associate presents with Christmas.
- Belief that who I am is suppose to be the 'personality' that I 'expressed' in my younger years
Self-Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the moment 'here' with an energetic point in the past with/as the relationship of the 'Christmas Spirit' (which is not real).
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive Christmas as 'real' instead of realizing that I am the breath 'here' not defined and not separate from the mind construct as Christmas.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive the 'Christmas Spirit' as 'real' instead of realizing that I am the breath 'here' not defined and not separate from the mind construct as Christmas.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate Christmas with a memory of being with my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate 'Christmas' music with a memory of being with my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate 'Christmas' music with the 'Christmas Spirit' (which is not real).
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate a moment defined as 'Christmas' to relaxation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate 'Christmas' music as a time to relax.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate Christmas with my childhood.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate 'Christmas' music with my childhood.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I 'missed' Christmas times with my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I 'missed' childhood times with my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is suppose to be the 'personality' that I 'expressed' in my younger years.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the video game 'Super Mario World' with good times with my family.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate presents with Christmas.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am the collective creation of Christmas and thus not 'separate' from it as I perceive it as 'special'.
Self-Corrective Statements:
I am the breath 'here'.
I am 'Christmas'.
I am not 'Christmas'.
I am the 'Christmas Spirit'.
I am not the 'Christmas Spirit'.
I am the creator of 'Christmas'.
I am not the creator of 'Christmas'.
I am my childhood.
I am not my childhood.
I am my adulthood.
I am not my adulthood.
I am my memories.
I am not my memories.
Self-Corrective Application:
When and as I see myself go into a pattern of memories, I stop, I stand, I breathe, and I let go. I realize that it takes my participation for me to connect with my memories, thus in turn, creating energetic points that I use to 'mind-fuck' myself with. I realize that this is not best for me, and not best for all.
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