24 July 2011

Self-Forgiveness Over Everything

Within the relationship / agreement that I am in, I am doing self-forgiveness over every point that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Before the agreement, I would do self-forgiveness, but from a 'conscious' perspective. But doing self-forgiveness from an unconscious perspective is different because from an unconscious perspective, there is no 'reason' to follow. I would follow 'reason' because that would be the only way that I know how to do self-forgiveness.

Say for instance that I am eating some food. I would do self-forgiveness for the point of perceiving myself 'separate' from the food. I would ask "J", "Why am I doing self-forgiveness over this? I'm just eating." But within the point of eating food, there may be some unconscious points that I am accepting and allowing by perceiving myself 'separate' from the food. For instance, believing that I desire the food in order for me to be 'fulfilled' / happy. Within my research, there are people that actually eat food consistently to cover up their depression. Thus, this point exists consciously, this would be a conscious reason for doing self-forgiveness over this point -- even though 'I myself' may not be aware of any conscious points / relationship-ties tied to that self-forgiveness statement.

I may also perceive myself 'separate' from food because of my belief that it provides me with the 'nutrition' that I need in order to be / remain 'healthy'. Health, in itself, has a big fuck-up around it because the reason why many health products / 'health-related' food within/as the health-industry exist and the reason why some illnesses exist is because it is an 'unconscious play-out' of our acceptance and allowance of our unconscious fears, as a collective, that drives the health industry and illnesses.

And so within that, I am still 'struggling' over this point of doing self-forgiveness 'unconditionally' -- because I have been living within/as 'reason' my whole life, and 'reason' is simply the 'reasoning' of how the mind interacts within/as this physical reality. 'Reason' is the 'glue' that holds the mind in place -- and 'validates' the statements, "I am only human.".... "but I don't understand.".... "why do I have to do self-forgiveness for this point?".... "So you're saying I'm 'wrong' for doing this?"....


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