My Belief of Needing Energy to Exist Through Sex

Ever since I was young, there was a point wherein I thought if I didn't have the 'energy' necessary to exist, I would not exist. There were some females in the past. I remember their names clearly. They were one of the first females that I was attracted to. At that time, I didn't know about masturbation, so I simply rubbed my nipples to get pleasure, but as I was doing that, I imagined me getting 'energy' transferred from them to me -- so I can 'exist'. I saw their physical bodies as 'enticing', and so within that, I judged myself as 'less than', and believed that without this energy, I would no longer exist. This energy I defined as 'sexual energy', and believed that 'attractive' women were the only type of women that possessed this energy.

As I grew older, that energetic point changed from primarily Hispanic women, whom I was attracted to primarily within my earlier years, to 'white' women because of the belief that 'white' women has more 'status' within the world because of several factors that I acknowledged such as how, within the past, black men were slaves of 'white' people.

Superiority and Inferiority in the Black and White Race

We can see within the 'more than' and 'less than' polarities, that each race supported the other race to exist as how they were existing at that time physically -- both each within the 'more than' polarity and within the 'less than' polarity simultaneously. Both polarities accepted themselves as 'less than', but the manifestation of that point was different for the two races. Have a look:

1) The black race stated, "We are 'less than', so we have to have a group of people that supports our belief that we are 'less than'.

2) The white race stated, "We are 'less than', so we have to make ourselves believe that we are 'more than' -- by & through the definitions that we have adhered to, as 'white people', according to books, historical entities / references, religious dogma, etc. -- that we have 'made special', and so within that, judge our physical bodies as 'special' based on these various theoretical affirmations. So we have to have a group of people that supports our belief that we are 'superior'.

And so within the starting-point of defining themselves as 'less than' IS the 'superiority' being played out as 'less than' within both races. We see that the definition of 'superiority' is: the quality of being at a competitive advantage. We see that both races were competing with the point of being 'less than' in different ways which was both races 'favorable position'. So the point of 'superiority' as a belief within 'white' people wasn't real, but was used as a 'cover-up' of their belief that they were inferior -- which is also not real. The point of 'inferiority' as a belief within 'black' people wasn't real either, but was used as a 'support' for the 'white race' to control', which WAS the 'unconscious control' that the black race had 'over' the 'white race' -- which is also not real.

So within this point, I allowed myself to 'believe' that white women are 'more than' me, and thus, need 'energy' from them necessary to exist. That is why 'white women' are so attractive to me because I have perceived myself 'separate' from them. I perceived their skin as 'superior'. When there is 'attraction' there is a point of separation present, but is not seen, because all that is seen is a big ass, or a big tit, but never the underlying point. Behind the attraction there is, for me, a 'desire' to fuck a female in order to feel 'equal' to them. That is why many men get 'dissatisfied' after the first 'fuck' because all of the female's energy has been transferred into them. Desteni states this literally.... what a fuck-up.

Sexual Power in 'Cultural' Women

Earlier, I mentioned that before I was 'possessed with the point that 'white' women has more 'status' within the world because of several factors that I acknowledged such as how, within the past, black men were 'slaves' of 'white' people, and so within that, created a prominent attraction with 'white women'.

Before 'white' women I was attracted to 'cultural' women, prominently Hispanic. There were two Hispanic females that I went to school with that I thought were attractive based on how I perceived myself 'separate' from them. At night time, I would rub my nipples to them while thinking about them and believe that I was receiving energy from them as I would think about them putting their hands on my temples. I connected 'culture' with sex and believed that the more 'dirty brown' someone's skin is, the more 'cultural' they are, and so within that, have more 'sexual energy' to give.

I looked at the starting point of this 'desire' for cultural women and it originates from an identification of how I believe that I was 'special' because I perceived myself as an 'Arabic boy' in a 'past life' before I was reincarnated from an Arabic boy to a 'black' child (in this life).

As an 'Arabic boy', I perceived myself as having 'dirty brown' soft skin, and perceived my family as 'powerful people' in this perceived past life, and so I defined that 'culture', which includes, the thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, definitions / identifications about who they were, that each one agreed upon as, in 'separation' of me as the 'breath' -- equal and one as all life 'here'.

And so within this lifetime, I perceived myself as having 'lack of' that 'power' because of being born into a 'black' body, and 'desired' 'dirty brown-skinned' females such as Arabic females, Indian, darker-skinned Hispanic females, Ethiopian females, etc. -- which was simply a reflection of my points of defining 'power' within a certain skin color, a certain culture, a specific body image, a specific sex, etc.

Points I Saw Within This:

• I thought if I didn't have the 'energy' necessary to exist, I would not exist.
• Belief that white women are 'more than' me, and thus, need 'energy' from them necessary to exist.
• Belief that the prominent attraction to 'white women' is real.
• Belief that the prominent attraction to 'dirty brown-skinned' females is real.
• Belief that white women's skin is superior.
• Belief that women with dirty-brown skin have more 'sexual energy' than other women which makes them 'more powerful' / 'attractive'.
• Belief that the more 'cultural' a female is, the more 'sexual energy' they have than other women which makes them 'more powerful' / 'attractive'.
• Belief that big asses are attractive.
• Belief that big tits are attractive.
• Desire to have sex with a female in order to feel 'equal' to them.
• Belief that I need sexual energy to exist.
• Belief that without sexual energy, I would not exist.
• Belief that 'white' women have more 'status' within the world
• Belief that black people are 'inferior' to the white race.
• Belief that white people are 'superior' to the black race.
• Identifying myself as 'special' because I perceived myself as an 'Arabic boy' in a past life.
• Belief that power exists within thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, definitions / identifications about who I am / someone is as the 'personality'
• Perceive myself as having 'lack of power' because of being born into a 'black' body
• Defining 'power' within a certain skin color, a certain culture, a specific body image, a specific sex, etc.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I don't have the 'energy' from females necessary to exist, I will not exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that white women are 'more than' me, and thus, I need 'energy' from them necessary to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the prominent attraction to 'white women' is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the prominent attraction to 'dirty brown-skinned' females is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that white women's skin is superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that women with dirty-brown skin have more 'sexual energy' than other women which makes them 'more powerful' / 'attractive'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the more 'cultural' a female is, the more 'sexual energy' they have than other women which makes them 'more powerful' / 'attractive'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that culture exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that big asses are attractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that big tits are attractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have sex with a female in order to feel 'equal' to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need sexual energy to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without sexual energy, I will not exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'white' women have more 'status' within the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that black people are 'inferior' to the white race.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that white people are 'superior' to the black race.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as 'special' because I perceived myself as an 'Arabic boy' in a past life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe being 'special' is 'real' -- as I identify as the 'ego' -- which is 'not real'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that power exists within thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, definitions / identifications about who I am / someone is as the 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as having 'lack of power' because of being born into a 'black' body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define 'power' within a certain skin color, a certain culture, a specific body image, a specific sex, etc.

Self-Corrective Statements:

I am power.

I am life.

I am here.

I am one and equal as all.

I am the breath.

I am life.

I am living.

I am existence.

I am self-directive.

I am self-responsible.

I am self-trust.

'Til here no further: I am not my mind.

'Til here no further: I am not my thoughts.

'Til here no further: I am not my feelings.

'Til here no further: I am not my emotions.

'Til here no further: I am not my memories.

'Til here no further: I am not my perceptions.

'Til here no further: I am not my beliefs.

'Til here no further: I am not my ideas.

'Til here no further: I am not my culture.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my culture.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my likes.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my dislikes.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my ego.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my personality.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my skin color.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my name.

'Til here no further: I am not defined by my status within the world.

Links:

1) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P1
2) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P2
3) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P3
4) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P4
5) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P5
6) One Night Stand Sex and Super System Upgrades P6