Seeing Myself as Less Than

Today I was with "J" at a Yogurt place. A point came up wherein I was thinking how I 'felt equal' being with "J" because she is 'Asian'. I am a 'black' man that judges myself as 'less than' based on the 3D pictured-presentation of people (especially white women) because of the structure of their physical bodies as being 'more than' -- because I could never acquire a female in the past to 'date' me / have a relationship with me. So I judged my 'personality' compared to the personality of others -- wherein I continuously define / identify myself as the 'ego' because of the continuous existence of this same point that I use to form a 'time-loop' with.

The question is, why do I allow this to continue? It is because I allow myself to continue as a mind-consciousness system -- chasing after parts of my memories that I do not want to let go, so within that, I re-enact those memories within the 'here' moment remaining self-dishonest in my every word to 'stand' and not accept and allow myself to become 'less than' -- which is exactly what I am accepting and allowing.

Points I Saw Within This:

• Judging 'pictures' as 'more than' me.
• Belief that because 'black people' were treated in the past as slaves, 'white people' are 'more than', and 'black people' are 'less than'.
• Belief that when I am rejected by 'white women', I am 'less than'.
• I made up for the 'loss' of having potential relationships through creating a 'white' imaginary girlfriend.
• Self-Manipulation by creating an imaginary 'white female' in my mind to make myself 'more than' because I feel 'less than' 'white' women.
• Belief that I am 'dumb' towards 'white' women because I am black.
• Belief that tall men cannot date women.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'judge' pictures as 'more than' me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because 'black people' were treated in the past as slaves, 'white people' are 'more than', and 'black people' are 'less than'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when I am rejected by 'white women', I am 'less than'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a 'white imaginary girlfriend' to make up for the 'loss' of having potential relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself by creating an imaginary 'white female' in my mind to make myself 'more than' because I feel 'less than' 'white' women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'dumb' towards 'white' women because I am black.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that tall men cannot date women.

Self-Corrective Statements:

I do not accept or allow myself to limit myself to a picture by creating a personality that is dependent on a picture to establish its 'integrity'.

When I see myself going into a pattern of belief, I stop; I breathe.

Self-Corrective Application:

I will stop and breathe through before I even get into a pattern of self-judgment by judging 'white women' as 'more than' me.