Not Eating Meat

Today, I tried to 'specialize' myself when I told my manager that I don't eat meat. I shouldn't have ever said that. I should have just remained humble and told her that I didn't want a sausage and biscuit sandwich that she was offering. I caught on to that point right after I told her which means that I still deem myself as 'special' because of me not eating meat.

The question is, why don't I eat meat? Well here is the initial starting point of the reason that I stopped eating meat. There are actually three separate reasons:

1) I began to feel nauseated for quite some time around 2006. It was an intermittent random effect and I didn't understand the starting point so I stopped eating meat to 'lighten' my body up -- which actually helped about one or two months within the eradication of eating meat. It was quite difficult to not eat meat initially, and this point has been persistent for about a year or two, because of the craving for meat, but after a year or two I got used to not eating meat.

2) I made a bet with one of my imaginary friends. His name was Omega: an 'elder' from the dimensions of Perennia. A look-alike is on the right, Ezren from the game Pathfinder, but Omega usually wears a white robe instead. The dimensions of Perennia was a mimicry of Hades: the 'underworld' that is mentioned in the Bible. Thus, Omega was like a 'demon', but all of the 'demons' that resided within the dimensions of Perennia were very 'loyal' to whatever they said. I think Desteni refers to that as being the 'Living Word'. Well that was them. At that time, though, I didn't know about Desteni as much as I do now. So I made a bet with him that I would never eat meat again until I die. And three years worth of not eating meat, I was making a commitment to that point.

3) I was reading a book about some aliens called the Biaviians, and the Biaviians stated that humans were designed as herbivores. I backed this up with some articles on the internet wherein, scientifically, the same point was iterated:

When you look at the comparison between herbivores and humans, we compare much more closely to herbivores than meat eating animals. Humans are clearly not designed to digest and ingest meat.

Meat-eaters: have claws

Herbivores: no claws

Humans: no claws

Meat-eaters: have no skin pores and perspire through the tongue

Herbivores: perspire through skin pores

Humans: perspire through skin pores

Meat-eaters: have sharp front teeth for tearing, with no flat molar teeth for grinding

Herbivores: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding

Humans: no sharp front teeth, but flat rear molars for grinding

Meat-eaters: have intestinal tract that is only 3 times their body length so that rapidly decaying meat can pass through quickly

Herbivores: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.

Humans: have intestinal tract 10-12 times their body length.

Meat-eaters: have strong hydrochloric acid in stomach to digest meat

Herbivores: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater

Humans: have stomach acid that is 20 times weaker than that of a meat-eater

Meat-eaters: salivary glands in mouth not needed to pre-digest grains and fruits.

Herbivores: well-developed salivary glands which are necessary to pre-digest grains and fruits

Humans: well-developed salivary glands, which are necessary to pre-digest, grains and fruits

Meat-eaters: have acid saliva with no enzyme ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Herbivores: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Humans: have alkaline saliva with ptyalin to pre-digest grains

Based on a chart by A.D. Andrews, Fit Food for Men, (Chicago: American Hygiene Society, 1970)

Well Bernard Poolman came out with a video about why vegetarianism is not a solution, and I understood the concept. Vegetarianism cannot be a solution because within the point of not eating meat, from the perspective of 'saving' the animals, it can't be a solution because, in a sense, we're simply 'running away' from what we have accepted and allowed within the world. And plus, not eating meat means that we get to focus all of our attention on 'murdering' fruits and vegetables.

Well my starting point of not eating meat was different from 'saving the animals' but it 'directed' to that point through all of the videos that I watched that showed animals locked in cages and being abused for our consumption. So I started eating meat again to 'equalize' myself within/as all, from the perspective of food consumption. But my starting point, when I began to eat meat again, was because of the video that I watched, and I felt 'guilty' of eating meat initially when I started back. I was content when I wasn't eating meat until I started 'thinking' -- which made me feel 'guilty' about the animals and about what Bernard said. I wanted to 'keep' the bet with Omega, lol.

Well I stopped eating meat again after eating meat for a while, and felt guilty for that also, but I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not eating meat. My whole point of not eating meat now is not for the bet anymore, lol. It is just because I want to be 'healthy' from the perspective of eating 'light' stuff. You have 'healthy' stuff that are considered 'light' -- from all of the 'bad cholesterols' and oil and shit, and you have 'healthy' stuff from the perspective of stuff that has less density to it. Since not eating meat, I have enjoyed eating foods that are 'less dense' in substance and simply gotten used to it.

My experience with getting back on meat was 'okay' initially, but I could tell the difference between meat products and non-meat products. Meat products, primarily, are 'more dense' and have more 'texture'. Non-meat products, like tofu, are, primarily, 'less dense' and have 'less texture'. Non-meat products have cool thing about them. I am able to 'breathe' through the foods that I eat -- as if the foods are like a 'sponge'. I do the same thing with meat products and experience that I am unable to 'breathe' through them because of the texture in which it feels as if I am 'losing my breath'. I don't know what to make of it, but it is a cool experience nevertheless.

So I don't want to 'judge' anyone that eats meat because I have been subtly doing that, and notice that if I simply embrace the moment 'here' then I don't judge. The judgment is always birthed within from previous memories and experiences of my relationship with eating meat. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others because they eat meat, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me because of me choosing not to eat meat.

There is one point, though, wherein I believe that I am 'missing out' on eating meat. Which is true, and still 'feel' as though I should eat meat because other people do. So I have been pushing this point of eating meat so I can equalize myself with others. And within pushing myself to eat meat, the thoughts that come up are:

1) I'm 'better than' people who eat meat because I have sense enough to eat 'healthy', and so if I eat meat I am equalizing myself with their corruption and 'imperfection'.

Pushing this point of 'healthiness' more, I am not a 'health freak' but when I see people who eat fatty and greasy foods, I see myself as 'better than' them because I have 'more sense' to not eat it from the perspective of knowing that it'll clog your arteries. I see them as 'less disciplined' and 'less intelligent', and more 'animalistic' within their behaviors (such as utilizing emotions rather than common sense/logic in every moment). I also see the point me being 'more than' them from the perspective of believing that 'women' are suppose to be 'more than' me because of their attractive presentation, but when I see certain women eat meat, such as Hispanic women, then I see them as 'fallen emotionally' and then see myself as 'better than' because they have 'fallen emotionally' because they are eating meat. So within this point, I can see that I am believing that virtually all women have this 'emotional stability' because of the point that within the past, women didn't want me, from the perspective of a 'relationship', because they were emotionally stable enough to handle themselves. So I took that point and ran with it and copied that point, as myself, to learn to be 'less emotional' -- to be like women. So when I see a female 'eating meat', it symbolizes that they have 'fallen emotionally' because they have accepted themselves as 'helpless' to direct themselves within/as the foods that they eat.

The point here that I am believing is that people who eat healthy have more 'self control', and 'stability' within they're emotions because they are utilizing 'discipline' as a 'personality point' to direct themselves within the area of 'health' and 'nutrition'. So this point of 'discipline' takes away certain points of emotions that an undisciplined being may attribute as who they are. But then again, 'discipline' comes in a wide 'spectrum' of arrays which may not correlate with many multi-dimensional facets of emotions and feelings. So this is simply a self-judgment, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that have 'discipline' as 'emotional stability' in every facet of their 'personality program' instead of realizing the multi-dimensionality of man within/as the mind, and therefore, not able to be unconditionally 'trusted' -- until man faces every particle of his acceptances and allowances. Discipline is the beginning... Practicality is the process.

►I am 'better than' people who eat meat.

►►People who eat greasy / fatty foods die faster.

►►►Health problems are created faster during life.

►I am 'better than' people who eat meat.

►►People have become less disciplined.

►►►People are suppose to be 'more disciplined'.

►►►►I learned 'discipline' when I was a kid and expect everyone else to be disciplined.

►I am 'better than' people who eat meat.

►►People are 'less intelligent'.

►►More Animalistic

►►►People use Emotions rather than Logic.

►►►Women are suppose to be emotionally stable

►►►►Women didn't want me in the 'past'.

►►►►►Because women can handle themselves

►►►►►►I wanted women to 'want' me because I didn't accept myself

►►►►►►I replicated becoming 'less emotional'

►I am 'better than' people who eat meat.

►►Construct of Beauty

►►►I am 'Less Than' the people who are Beautiful

►►►►Women suppose to be more intelligent because they are 'beautiful'.

►►►►►Women have 'fallen emotionally', therefore, using their 'beauty' in vain.

►►►►►►Belief that 'beauty' is 'more than'

►►►►►►►Every light-worker embraced 'beauty' as 'evolution'.

►►►►►►►►Evolution is 'more than' who I am, thus 'more intelligent'.

People Who Eat Greasy / Fatty Foods Die Faster

Within this point, I am looking at the point of 'health' from the perspective that when people eat meat, they are automatically 'less healthy' and are susceptible to illness / diseases that would have been non-existent if they've eaten vegetables. Within the studies that were done in 2010, that statement is actually fact.

In prospective studies of adults, compared to non-vegetarian eating patterns, vegetarian-style eating patterns have been associated with improved health outcomes—lower levels of obesity, a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, and lower total mortality. Several clinical trials have documented that vegetarian eating patterns lower blood pressure.

On average, vegetarians consume a lower proportion of calories from fat (particularly saturated fatty acids); fewer overall calories; and more fiber, potassium, and vitamin C than do non-vegetarians. Vegetarians generally have a lower body mass index. These characteristics and other lifestyle factors associated with a vegetarian diet may contribute to the positive health outcomes that have been identified among vegetarians.

So within this point, I can say that I don't fear death, and have some fear of 'health' issues. The primary reason that this point of not eating meat is existent within/as me is because of it being 'common sense' according to the studies that a 'vegetable' diet is 'better than' a 'meat' diet. I'd rather have a 'light diet' rather than a 'heavy diet' of meat. Meat 'is' more dense than vegetables, and with this 'light diet' means better 'health' overall. So within this point of not eating meat, I allow myself to eat meat occasionally because I don't want to build up a sense that I am 'mentally pure' if I don't eat meat. This point here is a point wherein' I have to investigate it through self-forgiveness.

Feeling Guilty of Not Eating Meat

I know that I am forming a 'guilt' of not eating meat. Everything was fine until I heard those interviews from Bernard about meat. That is why I opened myself up to this blog so I can sort out this point. The primary question within me is -- "Is it good or bad to eat meat or not eat meat?" There is a 'feeling' within my chest area of a slight 'urge' to eat meat in order to feel as though I have made the statement that I am 'equal' to the 'abuse' within the world, but that is, in a sense, self-deception of going by my 'feeling' rather than making the decision equal and one as who I am.

Sometimes I Have a Desire to Eat Meat

Sometimes, there is a desire within me to eat meat because in the past, I simply enjoyed eating meat and didn't have a 'say' about it until I started to 'challenge' my mind. I didn't have any thoughts about eating 'light' foods or any of that. I simply stopped eating meat for three reasons: to challenge my mind via the 'bet' that I made with Omega; because I was feeling nauseated back then and decided to cut off meat to see if it was the 'meat' that was causing the problem; and because it is a scientifically proven fact that people are meant to be herbivores. I sincerely think if I go back to eating meat the way my mind was constructed at that time, then I wouldn't have ever stopped eating meat. I did go back on meat for a while after three years of not eating meat, but I kept subtly judging myself eating the meat. Within that judgment though, I allowed myself to embrace the eating of meat, but I knew that my resonance changed and couldn't, and didn't want to, maintain a meat diet. The last meat-filled meal that I ate was a tuna fish Subway sandwich which was good, and in which I allowed myself to 'embrace' it, but I threw it up. So there is a debate within myself whether I should go back eating meat or not. Part of me says that I should go back to eating meat to 'get over' these thoughts about meat, and the other part says that I enjoy vegetables and tofu. I think if I go back to eating meat, I am making a 'point' trying to 'equalize' myself with something because of a debate. The bottom line, though, is that I stopped eating meat and 'debate' didn't exist until I acknowledge Bernard's videos about being vegetarian. Then I kept judging myself on what the 'best' thing is for me to do -- from the perspective of eating meat or not eating meat.

I Learned Discipline When I Was a Child

When I was young, my parents disciplined me. Many parents discipline their child, but I took it very seriously and believed that, at of age, everyone would be disciplined within their daily activities, but I see that is NOT the case. I lived that point within my life as everyone being 'disciplined' and took everything of what people said at 'face-value'. So when I see people that eat meat, especially 'attractive' women, I judge them because of the studies done about meat and see others as 'fallen emotionally' and 'undisciplined' because as the facts state, it is 'healthier' to be 'vegetarian', but when I see others in contrast of this fact, I am discombobulated and wonder why people would do this to themselves knowing that having a vegetable diet is better. It makes me see people as hypocrites / less intelligent that I am -- which comes from the point of me believing that I am 'less intelligent' than people, in general -- believing that it is people that I learn my 'expression' of who I am from.... I am just a 'disciple' unto others (because of the point of me 'running with' the point of my parents disciplining me when I was young.

People Use Emotions Rather Than Logic

When I see people being emotional, I become discombobulated because of my point of seeing myself as a 'disciple' when it comes to learning my 'expression' of who I am and how I 'suppose' to be within this world. And one thing that I learned is that 'common sense' (as logic) is 'key'. But when I see people being 'emotional' and 'reacting' that is when I question the 'common sense' of man and the words that 'man' has create as himself. So from the perspective of eating meat, I see people as 'fallen emotionally' because they have eradicated their 'common sense' and have justified their expression within/as their emotions -- especially beautiful women.

So with beauty, I learned that many 'light-workers' use beauty as a form of an 'evolved' state -- in which I see myself as 'less than' a 'beautiful' female. Because beauty represents 'evolution', 'light', intelligence, etc. from/as all of the teachings that I have been taught about God and spiritual evolution. So when I see a woman eating meat, this symbolizes the opposing factor in which I become discombobulated and begin to see myself as 'more than' because I initially saw myself as 'less than' within the point of 'beauty' as 'evolution'.

2) I need to eat meat so I can 'be more Destonian'. I saw of picture of some people on the farm at a table eating meat and other stuff. I wanted to 'equalize' myself at that time with them so I can 'fit in' and be 'more Destonian' -- which then creates the whole construct of Desteni as an 'image' rather than 'process'. And within this statement, I am looking for acceptance from other Destonians to accept me as an 'equal' to them within 'image' and 'presentation' -- which is total separation from who I am as already an 'equal' to all as all. Now the 'reason' why I desire 'acceptance' from Desteni is because of my belief that they do not approve of me because I don't participate on the forum and don't share myself like the others and so I consider myself a 'reject'. So looking at this point here a little deeper, I feel as though all of the Destonians have a one-track mind and don't know what 'fun' is. So within this, I create an 'image' of me as 'cool' and frivolous -- to try to get some Destonians attention from a frivolous point of view, but through my 'observations', I deem them as too serious. So within my observations from all of the updates that I see, I try to 'hold' on to them so I won't 'lose' them by attempting to be as serious as possible -- which led me to not communicate to Destonians because of my self-judgment that I won't say something the 'right' way, thus, I'll be reprimanded for it.

►I am cool and easy going; fun to hang around.

►►I meet Desteni.

►►►Destonians don't know what fun is.

►►►►One-track mind.

►►►►No Laughing (Point of Anger)

►►►►No Joking

►►►►No Loving

►►►►No Smiling

►►►►No Speaking Freely

►I am cool and easy going; fun to hang around.

►►I meet Desteni.

►►►Destonians don't know what fun is.

►►►►I try to be serious in order to hold on to Desteni.

►►►►►I need to eat meat so I can be more Destonian.

►►►►►I fear communication with Desteni members.

►►►►►►I don't participate (socially).

►►►►►►I don't want to say the 'wrong' thing.

►►►►►I judge Desteni (Observation Point)

►►►►►►Destonians don't approve of me because of my lack of participation.

The Point of Being Easy-Going and Fun

So why am I easy-going and fun? This point should be looked at. I've been easy-going and fun all of my life to NOT EMOTIONALLY AFFECT PEOPLE. That is the primary reason. The reason is the 'fear' of emotionally disturbing someone -- getting into an affair that was initially unnecessary. So thus, I keep my mouth quiet -- which is 'good' from a perspective, and adapt the point of 'coolness', but then again, what am I accepting and allowing within it all? I am accepting my own self-dishonesty for the most part -- because I am accepting the situation as an 'outflow' of my own self-dishonesties within the point of 'coolness' and frivolity. This has to be stopped. Self-honesty doesn't require me to be 'cool' or 'easy-going'. I am 'here'. This is a mind-fuck.

Desteni Has a One-Track Mind

When I see things that I react to within this construct, I see that I am 'reacting' to Desteni because of me wanting to 'accept' who I am as a mind-consciousness system -- supporting self-dishonest acts within laughing, joking, and smiling -- instead of realizing that there is nothing to 'laugh' about within this existence, and also, there is nothing to be 'emotional' about -- from the perspective of feeding emotional constructs that are unnecessary to begin with. I'm not saying that I shouldn't laugh, but what was the starting point? One of the starting points is the initial 'fear' of sharing myself and participating with Desteni -- so I go behind a 'back' door of 'silence' and 'blame' Desteni for being 'too serious'. Also, within these constructs laughing, loving, smiling.... within every point, there is always a starting point. Therefore to use these points is to use these points as a justification of who I am as a 'personality' (within the point of believing that 'emotions' create who I am, and that I should 'live' emotions freely because it is 'me'.)

I Fear Communication with Desteni Members

Fearing communication with Desteni members is fearing communication with myself equal and one with/as Desteni. This is a point wherein I should consider opening up as myself, and allow myself to amalgamate within/as all. This point is difficult for me because accept it as 'difficult' -- not wanting to 'say the wrong thing' -- and within that statement, I form self-judgment.

I Judge Desteni

When I judge Desteni, I judge myself. There were times when I was corrected, and during those times were the times wherein I just wanted to allow myself to speak frivolously about something, and so this is where the point originated -- that Desteni is too serious and judges me. But within everything that we do is a point of self-judgment, because to act on it other than who I am as the Living Word, is a form of self-judgment. Thus, if I am not one and equal with my words as who I am, then I am judging myself within the words that I speak. Thus, when I am corrected from another, it is a form of self-correction -- to get Self 'back on track' with who I am as Life -- instead of who I am as a mind-consciousness system -- living within/as self-judgment. So I 'deceive' myself to an extent when I am 'just saying' -- not really 'looking' / living the words that I speak/write as who I am within/as self-honesty.

Not Approved; Lack of Participation

So within the point of believing that I am not 'approved' by Desteni members, I, within this statement allow myself to write, participate, and vlog as 'limitation' -- only allowing certain words to pass through my lips because of my 'fear' that if I say the wrong thing, I will get reprimanded. And within this statement, I allow myself to slow down my participation with Desteni believing that I am being 'judged'. My participation has been minimal for this reason. The primary reason, though, is because of the insufficient time that I have within my reality to write, vlog, and communicate with others. My life of 'chasing money' takes up a lot of that time, but I informed myself that I will get as much as I can get done as my participation in writing, vlogging, etc. -- which is part of my process as who I am in every moment of breath.

Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special' because I don't eat meat because of the point of me believing that I am 'less than' if I am 'equal' (in position) to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support 'specialness' as a mind construct of 'ego' -- which can only exist within/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted myself as an 'equal' to others -- believing that I am 'less than', thus creating the point of me being 'more than' in certain situations -- instead of living 'here as breath' as it requires no polarity friction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being 'vegetarian' is a solution of saving the animals instead of realizing that I am still a murderer of fruits and vegetables -- thus being 'worse' than the 'meat eater' because I am a hyprocrite to my 'word'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within the point of being 'vegetarian', from the perspective of wanting to 'save the animals', I am 'running away from the 'collective' responsibility of man to face himself through the slaughtering and eating of meat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'guilty' of the abuse of animals instead of realizing that I am actually supporting the abuse of animals by eating meat 'and' by not eating meat.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'not' eating meat, I am supporting the abuse of animals because I am doing nothing about the 'abuse', but simply cutting myself off from it -- allowing the abuse to continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others that eat meat instead of realizing that I am actually judging myself by not eating meat -- putting me into a category of 'specialization'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that within the point of putting me within a mode of 'specialization', I am judging myself as 'less than' others -- balancing out that point through the point of 'specialness -- 'feeding' off others to make me 'feel' special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself 'trust' in the nature of who I am as 'feelings' -- defining myself as a 'feeling' rather than within/as self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me based on 'health' believing that I need to be 'healthy' and eat 'less' meat -- living out the 'fear' of not being 'healthy' as long as I hold onto this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as 'healthy' -- living out the point of 'fear' within/as the construct of 'health' -- believing that I need 'something' (health) to establish who I am and my 'well being'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'imperfection' exists instead of realizing that everything is perfect as what it exists as through our acceptances and allowances. (Perfection as the program.)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the food that I eat -- creating a 'personality construct' within/as the food that I eat -- becoming 'demon possessed'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that women are 'more than' me because of their pictured-presentation instead of realizing that I am putting my 'energy' into a thought and defining myself as 'less than' a pictured-presentation and allowing myself to create a personality of 'more than' to other 'pictured-presentations' that I use to define me as a mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me based on my pictured-presentation as 'weak' because I am not 'beautiful' enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the construct of 'beauty' instead of realizing that beauty is a self-judgment created by a polarity of being 'not beautiful enough' in which I begin to see and judge everything within/as my 'reality' creating 'limitation' as 'appearance'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'beauty' is the 'key' instead of realizing that 'I' am the key to Life as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'attraction' to someone is based on my programmed nature of what I deem 'attractive' through my 'chemical construct'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all women as 'unemotional' -- constructing a life based on a pre-judged 'idea' that all women are non-emotional and thus, creating/developing a point of me being/becoming 'unemotional' -- instead of seeing the 'emotions' that are hidden within my 'unemotional' presentation/lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a 'story' in my mind that I deem 'real' instead of living here as 'breath' in every moment -- allowing that 'story' to create who I am as a falsified 'image'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a 'story' in my mind that I deem 'real' instead of embracing the moment 'here' as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a 'story' in my mind that I deem 'real' -- trusting and 'living out' my thoughts as what I believe myself to be as mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'fear' eating meat because of the possibility that I will be susceptible to illnesses & diseases that would have been non-existent if I would've eaten vegetables instead -- instead of realizing that within that very 'fear', I am accepting illness & diseases as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death through the eating of meat instead of realizing that I am 'already dead' -- as a mind-consciousness system -- living a 'lie' that I call 'personality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel 'guilty' for eating meat instead of allowing myself to eat and embrace all foods equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the feeling of 'guilt' towards specific type of foods is my acceptance of categorizing myself within a certain perspective -- creating a 'personality' and walking that personality point of what I 'feel' is 'best for me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect other people to be disciplined instead of realizing that I am creating a form of judgment because of how I was raised.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everyone is emotionally adept to handle the whims of the world instead of realizing the fuck-up, which is called Life that we created within the world -- as the mind due to 'energy-in-motion' (emotion), is proliferated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that every woman that is 'beautiful' is emotionally adept.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'beauty' is 'evolution' instead of realizing that 'evolution' is an 'energetic' mind-demon taken through 'time' based on 'image' and self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in 'beauty' as 'love and light' instead of realizing the bullshit that 'love and light' represents.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'beauty' as 'love and light' can only exist as a 'personality' -- as an 'energetic possession' of/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on a title instead of living the 'purity' of me as 'breath' in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to eat meat in order to become 'more Destonian' instead of realizing that I am structuring myself as a 'personality' based on a 'title' rather than the 'expression' of me as 'breath' in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to 'fit in' with Desteni in order to be accepted instead of realizing that within the construct of 'trying to fit in', I am actually attempting to 'regurgitate' my possession of/as the mind as an 'outflow' within/as the present experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself live a title and/or a 'personality in order to be accepted by another -- instead of realizing the point of acceptance as desiring acceptance based on restructuring my 'personality' to 'fit in' with another 'personality'. (Personality is Demon Possession.)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself realize that the whole construct of Desteni is 'principle-based' rather than 'personality-based'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the media and entertainment to 'hinder' my process instead of realizing that I can use entertainment as part of my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the media and entertainment to 'hinder' my process instead of realizing that I am accepting Self as Self-Expression to be hindered by elements of my mind-consciousness system that I have already accepted and allowed as 'more than' me -- to have 'control' over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hinder my process through/as the curiosity of my mind to want to 'follow' something that I deem 'entertaining' and/or can 'take my mind away' in order to 'rest' -- of the belief that I will 'build' myself up within an allotted time of 'rest', but not realizing that I am simply allowing myself to form a point of procrastination, thus following disappointment in the end for not allowing myself to discipline myself within my process -- within the time that I had available.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge Desteni instead of realizing that I am simply judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'emotionally' affecting people, thus hiding behind the point of being 'easy-going' and fun in order to 'escape' reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'emotionally' affecting people, thus hiding behind the point of being 'easy-going' and fun to 'escape' what is 'here' as what others accept and allow to exist within their world -- as mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am unable to 'emotionally' affect people -- realizing that a 'reaction' is already programmed within/as the mind. Thus an individual who is 'emotionally torn' was already 'torn' from the beginning.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be self-honest with who I am in every moment of breath within everything that I do and say. (Man Know Thyself.)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 'meat' to become 'more than' me -- forming reactions to meat because of how the assemblage judges the eating of meat and the eradication of meat through a diet that contains no meat -- forming a 'personality' / 'mind-possession' and living that point out through self-dishonesty -- instead of remain 'stable here' within/as breath -- allowing myself to eat, in purity, both plants and animals.