Blonde Hair

So when I see people with blond hair, I react because of the belief that they are 'better' than me because of the judgment of their 'image' as being 'better' than mine. Maybe not everyone with blond hair, but the ones who have a more-or-less an 'attractive' appearance.

Here are the points that come up when I think about people with blond hair: God, Better-Than, Angelic, Glory, Light, Beauty, Gold, Elite, Power, Advantage, Sexy, Evolution.

Blond Hair as Symbol for God and Angels:

Blond hair as a symbol for God is the creator of the color 'gold' as Evolution. Thus God being the 'highest', I equate blond hair as 'evolution' which means that people with blond hair are 'more than' people with darker hair or skin. It's funny though because I don't see God as having blond hair. I don't see God as having a specific image at all, but the 'heavens' that God apparently created symbolizes Glory, Light, Beauty, Angelic, Elite, Powerful, and Evolution. Maybe this is why gold is so expensive?

I was young when I learned about God. My grandmother primarily told me about God, and I went to church with her and later with my mom and step-father. I think the whole symbolic-heaven-thing comes from seeing these blond-angel-clay designs and believing that these are how angels really look. And you know angels are everything that we're not -- supposedly: Highly-Evolved, Strong, Powerful, yet -- still 'Feminine'. Yes, the initial belief were that they were all feminine until I learned about Michael and Gabriel the Archangels in which they were of a masculine expression. So this point possessed me. I allowed the 'image' of these angels create a resonant point as I began to create self-judgments and mind-possessions throughout my life by the image of these angel-clay potteries.

Blond Hair as Symbol for 'Better-Than':

So within the world when I see women with blond hair, I try not to think about the point that they are 'better than' me, but it's like so ingrained in me that I don't have to think it.... I rather 'feel' it, and 'experience' it as a 'mind possession'. There is a 'feeling' that comes over me (mainly in my chest area) and then there is a thought that they are born and created as 'better' than me because they have blond hair. "Their DNA is more 'evolved' than mine." is the thought that is conjured up within my mind when I see 'white' women with blond hair. I see them as more intelligent... more evolved -- from the perspective of 'image'. They have 'gold' shiny hair which symbolizes 'evolution'. And plus, what makes the point more prominent is when 'white' women with blond hair 'reject' you believing that you are 'less than' and that you have to become the 'image' of 'perfection' in order to 'get their attention' that you are as 'good' as they are. That's probably one of my reasons for seeking 'perfection' in everything that I do -- to try to get 'up there' with women that have blond hair so I can 'get their attention' that I am 'perfect' just like them.

Even if they are seemingly less coordinated than the rest, from the perspective of 'intelligence', I still see them as 'evolved' because they have blond hair. So it is the point of the belief that 'God' has created them as 'special' because they have blond hair -- as the make-up of their DNA is 'more evolved'.

DNA and 'White' People

I see 'white' people as 'more evolved' because they have lighter skin, and within that lighter skin, I see them as having 'more advantage' physiologically and financially. I think the primary point has to do with the slavery days because most 'white' women that I pass by, there is this 'energetic point' of self-disgust because of my appearance as a male.

I see my appearance as a 'black male' as being 'animalistic', and 'unfit' to be around 'white' women. Probably because, with older 'white' women, it is the point wherein if I attempt to 'look' at them, they don't show any 'emotion' and/or they turn around fast -- which indicates within me that I suppose to have no emotions and not associate with them because they apparently 'know' how men are -- which is a form of self-judgment because I actually don't know anything about them, but the point is coming from me as a 'resonant' possession. I see myself as the man that 'abused' white women because I have a dick, and I see myself as 'just another guy' because in accordance to my own judgments toward men, most men only want sex with women and nothing else, so they take advantage of them in order to get into their pussy. So within this point, what I am really saying is, "I like white women because I see them as 'better than' me and more mature than me. I see them as highly evolved because they are not as sexual as men and don't exhibit any emotional behavior when I try to greet them because they have 'surpassed' emotionalism. I need 'acceptance' from them through their emotions because I see myself as 'less than' them because they 'look' so 'evolved' based on their 'image'. Hey, it's in their DNA. They're white, but they've had a lot of men in their life that abused them and so I see myself as just another abuser, so I'm not going to talk to them."

With younger 'white' women, it's the same ordeal. I see myself as a 'jerk', instead, and because I have 'abused' them (because of me being a 'man'), I shouldn't talk to them because I am the 'abuser' as a 'man'. But that isn't true though. Abuse always begins because one is dependent on another's 'personality point' to 'fulfill' their 'personality point' and when that 'personality point' doesn't 'play' right, one gets abused (as self-abuse) because one accepted the abuse -- that played out as 'emotions' -- as 'regurgitated' memory placements that one is reliving because of the dependency on another for 'emotional' fulfillment... So it's never 'me' abusing 'them'. Also, me accepting that point, I become 'less than' that 'person' because I accept their own self-abuse. Fascinating....

Cross-dressing Around Women

Now there were a couple of times wherein I would put on the attire of what is defined as women's clothes -- from a starting point of self-exploration and challenging my 'image' in relation to who I am within what I wear. I have been around women within the attire of women's clothing and found my 'perception' as an 'equal' to women -- because I judged myself within what I had on as 'more soft' and 'felt' that women 'understood' me now because of my appearance as 'womanly' (just like them). Thus, the point that came up within the 'understanding' is the point of men being 'jerks' and men cheating on women which is the reason of my acceptance within this point that I can't 'talk' to women because I am a man -- and therefore, a 'jerk'. But like I said, it is that 'personality point' of/as a 'female' that a 'female' is looking for within a male to 'fulfill' who they are based on their 'memory constructs' and chemical 'implants' of what 'love' entails. But self-dishonesty always causes this to happen because self-honesty can never be based within/as 'feelings'. The 'feelings' come from points that have not been looked at/transcended on a physical level. The 'feelings' shouldn't 'create' the physical, the physical should be the foundation for 'feelings' as 'physical touch' rather than reactions within/as the mind.

I'm Too Tall.

Black men in the past were big and tall. Within this point, I see height as being 'inappropriate' because of the average height of men in the U.S. being 5 feet 9.2 inches. Therefore, I consider myself too 'overbearing' for women because of my height and is another self-justification point of the reason that I allow myself to stay as 'far' as I can away from women -- from the perspective of getting 'close' -- in which within this point, I am not realizing that I am actually allowing this point of remaining 'platonic' and 'aloof' -- with a seemingly 'professional' attitude when in actuality, I see myself holding on to a deep-seated anger that extends to emotional coldness and detachment.

Also back in the slavery days, someone told me that the reason that black men are virtually 'bigger' than all other races, from the perspective of size, is because the 'white' people perfectly matched 'black' people together to genetically form an individual that was able to physically 'handle' the necessities of the 'white' man. I don't know if that's true or not, but it makes sense. So in the world, most people that 'love' each other are of 'average' size, and I see myself as being too tall in order to experience a 'relationship' with another person because I would be too overbearing and too 'rough' instead of realizing that 'love' is 'soft' and 'fragile' -- so a woman wants a man that's average-size and not too 'big' -- giving the impression of 'roughness'. So within this point, I deem 'love' to have a specific image -- in which when one envelops the 'specific image' of 'love' they are able to 'love' better because they will be 'accepted'. So 'love', from this perspective, is based on 'image' alone -- which makes 'love', from this perspective, conditional. Isn't this how the world works to -- as the system? If you have money, the vendor will 'love' you.

Blond Hair as Symbol for Glory and Light:

What is 'glory'? Glory is a 'brilliant' radiant beauty, and blond hair 'symbolizes' this glory because

on the top of blond-haired women's heads, there is a 'golden shine' of 'glory' symbolizing the 'perfect' DNA sequence as the 'perfect' being -- as a 'white' person. Also, you have the story of Adam and Eve in which I sometimes pictured Adam and Eve with blond hair and blue eyes because of all of the stories that present a form of 'evolved' species that were 'white-oriented' -- such as the Nordic alien species like Semjase, Ashtar Sheran, etc., Supergirl, in combination with the 'heavenly' angels and the 'advantage' that many 'whites' have in the world financially.... I see 'white' as being a color of 'advantage'. So with 'whites' having blond hair, as 'glory', would be a 'symbol' of 'radiance' and 'evolution'.

Barbie and Blaine would be a prime example of 'advantage' -- representing 'white' couples with 'blond' hair as the 'advantaged group. And when I see two couple who have 'blond' hair, I re-member Barbie and Blaine. as the two most popular couples that have advantage. You always see Barbie and Blaine representing glamour, fashion, trend, etc -- things that people yearn for and want to look like within the construct of 'image' and the 'weight' that 'image has within our society/world.

Within the point of 'glory' there is a 'peaceful' aura about it. Thus, the 'connection' with 'glory' is what I accept and allow myself to adhere to through/as memory -- walking a 'resonance' based on 'blond' hair as 'glory'. The point that I have to realize when looking a 'white' women's blond hair is to understand that they are not 'better than' me because of their pictured-presentation. I am simply adhering to an interpretation within/as the mind. Glory is but an interpretation within/as the mind of how I 'perceive' an image. And hair is not the only point, but every spectacle of the body. All images that I see with my eyes, the self-judgment births from the 'interpretation' about the 'image' that is being perceived through the eyes. Thus, is it the 'interpretation' that is the 'demon of reflection' of my own self-judgments. That is why 'interpretation' is simply an 'outflow' of Self's own opinions/justifications. Thus, there is no such thing as 'glory' per-se... It is simply an 'illusion' of what the eyes have been trained to perceive glory as -- as a 'resonant possession'. Every interpretation puts a 'veil' over the 'pure' physical expression of/as what is 'here' as 'Life'.

Blond Hair as Symbol for Power-full and Elite:

Not only 'white' people with 'blond' hair have power and are 'elite' -- from the perspective of how much money they have, but 'white' people period. But from the perspective of 'white' people with 'blond' hair as the 'elite' is from the self-judgment of 'white' people with 'blond' hair as the prominent type of 'white' people that exists. Within my mind, 'white' people are the ones who are in power because of their greed. No I am not saying this because of my anger towards the 'white' people that are in power. Quite frankly, I have no anger towards them. I am simply giving my mind's view on this point in the most straightforward way. Thus, blond hair as a 'symbol' for 'power' and 'elite' -- turns into 'gray' hair in the latter years -- which symbolizes the most 'powerful' and 'elite' type of hair (if you're white). Now the 'power' and 'elite 'energetic' connection really doesn't come form 'white' men. It comes from 'white' women.

Blond Hair as Symbol for Sexy and Evolution:

When I look at 'white' women, they are sexy to me. One of the primary points within this goes back to the point of believing that 'white' women are 'better' than me -- which gives the 'perception' of 'sexiness'. But another point of this is because I am actually attracted to 'white' women with no clear starting point of 'separation'. Vanna White and Cindy Crawford were the 'first' two women that I ever found attractive.... And Vanna White has 'blond' hair, lol. Maybe Vanna White is one of the primary reasons of why I view 'white' women with blond hair the way I do.

So with this point of 'sexiness' brings the perception of 'evolution'. In order to 'evolve, one has to be at least 'beautiful' right? Well because of the physical shape of 'white' women, I view 'white' women as 'evolved', and since 'white' women get into relationships with 'white' men, I view them as 'evolved' too -- and not only evolved, but 'powerful' and 'elite' -- as the 'energetic' resonant possession through/as the 'beauty' of a female that establishes the whole 'resonant integrity' of 'white' people. White women as a whole, though, are incorporated within this whole document -- from the perspective of 'white' women with other colors of hair, but the reason that 'blond' hair is so prominent within this article is because I was flagging 'blond' hair only and my 'resonant possession' to 'blond' hair that I establish within/of my world through/as the mind.

Self

-Forgiveness: Angels

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'angels' are the expression of 'softness'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create/live the 'resonant integrity' of who I am based on the belief that 'angels' are more 'evolved' than us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my 'responsibility', my fears, and everything that I have not faced, as who I am, to a construct that only exists within my mind as a 'comfort zone' -- instead of taking self-responsibility of/as what I have accepted and allowed within/as my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my 'responsibility', my fears, and everything that I have not faced, as who I am, to a construct that only exists within my mind as 'angels' -- instead of taking self-responsibility of/as what I have accepted and allowed within/as my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'depend' on angels to save me from my acceptances and allows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'less than' and that I need an 'angel' to 'wash' my 'problems' away because of the belief that my 'problems' are 'bigger' than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my problems are 'bigger' than me and that I have allowed myself to 'hide' behind the construct of angels and 'initiate' feelings of 'love' and 'security' taking me away from what is 'really going on'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare 'angels' and 'white' women -- believing that 'image' takes precedence over Self as Expression 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'softness' has an 'expression' instead of realizing that 'softness' and 'hardness' are simply judgments/interpretations of the physical reality that we exist in -- as the 'expression' is always me and can never exist 'separate' from me 'here'.

Self-Forgiveness: Blond Hair

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'blond hair' is symbolic for 'Evolution'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'blond hair' is symbolic for 'God'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' blond hair as 'more than' who I am 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'blond hair' is symbolic for 'Glory'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'blond hair' is symbolic for 'Light'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people with 'blond' hair are 'better than' people without blond hair.

Self-Forgiveness: Evolution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in Evolution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'subject' to 'time' as Evolution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'depend' on Evolution to create/make me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'Evolution' is entirely 'image' and 'time-based' instead of realizing for myself, as who I am, that I am not subject to 'time' allowing myself to be 'trapped' in time and never moving -- instead of 'moving' myself 'here' -- right now as who I am -- as God.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'depend' on Evolution to 'make me special' -- instead of realizing that I am a 'prisoner' trapped by the 'idea' that 'specialness' exists. I am not 'special' neither anyone else. Thus, we are all equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'less than' DNA.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on my DNA construct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'less than' women -- thus becoming the 'polarity construct' of 'more than' through/within knowledge/information, and 'perfection'.

Self-Forgiveness: God

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that God exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need a God to exist to give my responsibilities to -- of what I have accepted and allowed as who I am within/as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'hide' behind God instead of 'standing' up, as who I am, of what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

Self-Forgiveness: Gold

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the color 'gold' is the color of 'evolution'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' gold an 'Evolved' color because of the belief that it represents 'God' the Almighty.

Self-Forgiveness: Height

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on my height instead of realizing that what I am actually judging and basing myself on is the self-judgment == that I am not 'good enough' to be in a specific being's presence because of my superficial representation as a tall black man compared to theirs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place me within the 'design of height' using 'height' to 'create' who I am as a mind-consciousness system -- walking a 'resonant' principle and creating a personality based on how tall I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in and walk the 'resonant' design of what is 'appropriate' and what is not according to the entirety of the 'unified field' -- from the perspective of 'image' and 'beauty' and allow myself to create a 'personality' enslaved by 'beauty' and 'image'.

Self-Forgiveness: Image

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become 'possessed' by 'image' believing that 'image' plays a big role in 'evolution' and believing that I am 'evolution' instead of realizing that I am 'here' as the 'entirety' of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'image' creates the 'livelihood' of man and woman instead of realizing that within that statement I am allowing something that I believe exists external from me to create the 'livelihood' of/as who I am 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'image' is God and that I am 'apart' from God instead of realizing that I am 'God' and that I am responsible for all of the 'bullshit' that I create as a mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'image' is 'more than' who I am 'here' instead of realizing that nothing can exist 'more than' what is 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'image' is the dictator of who I am as 'Leon' -- creating/walking resonant 'possessions' based on 'image' and how I judge myself within/as 'image'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'limit' existence to an 'image' instead of realizing that what is 'here' is 'beyond' image. It is I.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'sexiness' exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'possess' myself with 'sexiness' -- believing that I 'need' it in order to become 'more than' who I am 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'possess' myself with 'sexiness' -- believing that I 'need' it in order to be happy with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'feed' gender identity instead of realizing that I am feeding my 'ego' of who I am based on the construct of 'gender identity' -- which is all based within/as the 'mind'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'judge' me based on my 'image' as a 'black man'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'less than' women because of the belief that women are 'more than' me because of their pictured-presentation -- depicting them as the 'more evolved' sex instead of realizing that I am accepting and allowing 'image' to depict who I am as the entirety of my beingness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'prejudge' others based on their 'image' -- giving 'significance to 'image'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to 'equalize' myself to a specific 'image' or person if I look like them or act like them -- instead of realizing that I am actually accepting me as 'less than' that external factor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use 'image' / pictures as a point of justification.

Self-Forgiveness: Power

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'power' comes through/within/as the physical as what is 'here' and that 'consciousness' can never 'take precedence' over what is 'here' as Life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that there is 'equal' power within all gender constructs entailing that there is 'no' greater power of gender.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'power' is only within/as the 'feminine' construct because of the 'image' of females as 'sexy'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate 'sexiness' as 'power'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the primary point of my 'motivation of separation' with women is the point of desiring sex. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is the 'ultimate force' that can 'save' me from my apparent 'powerlessness' of/as who I am as a mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that 'power' comes through/within/as the physical as what is 'here' and that 'consciousness' can never 'take precedence' over what is 'here' as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support one's own self-abuse through/as self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support my own self-abuse through/as self-dishonesty.

Self-Forgiveness: 'White' People

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'white' people are 'better' than me because of their skin color and because of the structure of their body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'separate' myself from 'white' people through/as self-judgment instead of realizing that we are equal and one 'here' within/as this existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate the 'paleness' of skin as 'more evolutionary' than 'darker skin'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to become the 'image' of 'perfection' in order to 'get white women's attention' that I am as 'good' as they are instead of realizing that we are all equal as one 'here' within/as the physical -- as who we are.

Self-Forgiveness: Other

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to abuse another -- instead of realizing that all abuse is self-abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'specialness' exists within/as the 'image' of man -- instead of realizing that 'specialness' is simply an 'interpretation' of as the mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'righteous' to abstain from sex because of the belief that women don't like to have sex that much.