Mental Pictures as Doppelgängers

I notice that when I look at a specific type of person, based on their looks, a 'mental image' forms within my mind. This mental image, I call a doppelgänger -- as a ghostly double of a person. The 'image' forms mostly as a 'feeling' in which I begin to 'react' to the person that I looked at. Now this is especially for certain 'white' women. Since I deemed myself, when I was young, not accepted by 'white' women, there is a strong point of 'attraction' towards them based on their specific 'image'. It's all a play on memory, but I was attracted to 'white' women initially before this point -- probably because my mom was attracted to 'white' men.

With this 'mental image' I begin to become energetically influenced -- believing that I am not good enough for 'white' women -- to date them or to have sex with them, and also believing that I shouldn't communicate with them because women don't like/want communication. The feeling is felt within the proximity of my chest area in which my whole 'perspective' changes into a perspective like a 'childlike' persona with my arms open out to 'white' women so that they will 'accept' me. I see 'white' women as 'intelligent' and 'cooperative' in their communication, thus, which is the reason that I have a 'childlike' persona towards them -- not in my behavior, but in/as the 'mind possession' as the 'mental doppelgänger. The mental doppelgänger is the 'personality' that is formed when I see particular people within my reality. The 'feeling' comes over me and then I become 'possessed' and walk as this 'image' of possession.

Cindy Crawford and Vanna White

Cindy Crawford and Vanna White were the first 'white' women... well actually the first women 'period' that I was attracted to. So now I understand the programming. With this 'attraction' formed the 'programming' within me of/as my 'resonant possession' of what I am presently accepting and allowing within/as me. So with the 'image' of Cindy Crawford as a 'middle-aged' 'white' woman, I formed a desire to want to 'be' with a 'white' woman throughout my life. White women weren't the only women that I was interested in, but 'white' women are one of the physical-manifested female figures that I was attracted to. The question is, why Cindy Crawford and Vanna White? I guess it's like trying to define why a person likes vanilla ice cream rather than strawberry ice cream.

Within this point of finding 'white' women attractive I wanted to pursue a relationship with one of them. My first, that I ever remember being attracted to, was Kristen Clark. I used to go to school at Bayles Elementary. So I guess Cindy Crawford wasn't the first 'white' woman that I was attracted to. It started back in elementary school. Kristen Clark was smart, so within that point formed a point of being attracted to 'intelligent' 'white' women. I think she was on the honor roll in all of the grades too (kindergarten through sixth grade). I used to try to 'get her attention' that I am attracted to her by doing subtle things such as desiring a hug, desiring to touch her etcetera. The most memorable time that I had with her was when I was playing 'Bloody Mary' with her. Blood Mary was a game that I played with with her and another girl named Cynthia. Bloody Mary 'possessed' Cynthia as she would tell us what she would do to us. One time, she took me and Kristen's veins out of our arms, and I believed the story because I didn't see my veins anymore when she told us to look at our arms. She had them in a greenish liquid that was inside of a plastic container. We could see some brown stuff within the greenish liquid and she informed us that it was our veins. I was kinda frightened by this, lol. Another time that I remember clearly was when Cynthia informed us to lie down. We lied down on some grass side by side together -- I kinda liked this experience because I was approximately five feet away from her lying down. Well Cynthia, who was apparently possessed by 'Bloody Mary', informed us to lie down and think about the scenario that she was giving us as she 'levitate' us off of the ground. I didn't believe this like the other scenario, and don't even know if the attempt 'worked' or not. But basically, I did spend some time with Kristen Clark. I could never, though, become involved within a relationship with her. I never asked her directly though. Maybe that was the problem. A little later on, though, during the time spent with her, there was a point wherein I was becoming 'less attracted' to her because I deemed her 'physical image' changing -- or was it simply my 'perspective' about her that changed?

Later on within the years, I met Heidi. She was another 'smart white' girl that I was attracted to. One day I remember me crying hard just to get her attention. I think my 'crying' was because I failed on a test. I didn't really hang around her that much, but she was 'more attractive' than Kristen.

The closest thing that I ever had to a relationship was 'Sierra' back in middle school. I would also 'cry hard' to get her attention -- especially when we were riding rides together at Sandy Lake. Sierra was also a 'smart white girl' and very disciplined in her educational studies. The best time that I had with her was when we were at the carnival and we would ride rides together. We would hold hands. I felt as if I was 'retrieving some energy' from 'white' women by holding her hands -- energy that I needed to 'fulfill' my desire and to 'get more attention' and 'validation' from 'white women' -- which is nothing but a mind-fuck, but nevertheless, the only reason that we didn't go 'further' is because maybe I never asked.

So within all of these three females, they all have the same type of 'personality construct' -- smart and orderly. So within what I saw within these 'women' would be something that I would have within me too as a 'reflection' of these females. I do also deem myself as 'orderly' but at that

time, I didn't define myself as anything in particular, but the reason that I was attracted to them was because I had that same point within me that they were representing. So the attraction to these three females was an attraction to myself -- in a sense.... seeing myself as who they are as a mind-consciousness system in which they were the embodiment of my 'attraction' to a specific type of 'female'. Thus, Cindy Crawford would be the 'manifestation' of a 'supermodel' in which my point of 'attraction' to 'white women' would 'resonate' when seeing pictures of Cindy Crawford, and 'matching' that resonating point within all the women in the world that resembles Cindy Crawford and have a 'smart' personality'.

The 'Cooperative' Persona

The 'cooperative persona resonance' is a persona that came later when I was attending acting school to pursue my acting career. Well that never happened by the way (at least at the time of this blog). There was a female that I was attracted to. Her name was 'Hope'. They'd call her 'Hope' as her nickname. She was a tall 'white' woman (about 5' 8") with the most attractive legs that I have ever encountered. She resembles Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. She striked me as having a 'ballerina-type' demeanor. If you have ever seen a ballerina or a yogi student/teacher, you'd know what I mean. She was very talkative and constantly feared that a man might 'rape' her or 'kidnap' her -- probably because she was a model. Well my interaction with her, I deemed her to be very cooperative in her communication (even though she did most of the talking). I felt as if I could talk to her about anything and that she would understand or try to understand by simply communicating with me about the point -- probably because when I spoke, she would be willing stop what she was saying and 'listen'. The interesting thing is that we never really had any deep discussions about anything, but that was what I 'resonated with' when I was around her -- her being 'cooperative' and 'communicative' in our discussions.

And so I took this point of 'cooperation' and expected all of my relationships with all women to be civil and 'cooperative' -- wherein' me and her can discuss anything without any 'emotional reactions' to what was said, but to look at the point, try to understand it and discuss it openly. Maybe the reason that I got this point from 'Hope' was because I was already looking for that point within a female -- because I was already 'that expression'. And so my 'attraction' to 'Hope' was because of that point in which I 'resonated' with around her wherein' I could 'express' / experience this point of 'cooperation' as communication within a friendship-type relationship. I did attempt to pursue her for a 'relationship', but she was already dating a guy. She was also older than me which was another point that I was attracted to -- maybe because of my attraction to Cindy Crawford. But with everything considered, every point always start from a 'resonating' point within -- in which these points within me were already in place as: orderly, intelligent, profound (physically and mentally -- which is how I described it as the ballerina-type demeanor), and cooperative.

Tyra Normanczek

Atyrahnormanczek (Tyra Normanczek) was an imaginary friend that I created that later became my imaginary girlfriend. Tyra, was the embodiment of all of the factors mentioned above: orderly, intelligent, profound, cooperative (in communication), etc. She was actually a reflection of Amanda 'Hope' (which is Hope's real name: Amanda), along with some other factors that creates the 'image' of Tyra as a 'persona'.

The last time that I saw Amanda was in an apartment office. Little did I know that we stayed in the same apartment. It was hard for me to get in touch with her unless she was available to speak on phone. Otherwise, she never called me. The last time that I saw her, she informed me where she worked. I thought it was quite strange that I was always calling her and that she never called me -- and this was like a pattern not only with Amanda, but with many other women.

So this basically sums up my history with 'white' women in relation to this 'mental doppelgänger' point with my attraction to specific 'white' women. So whenever I see someone that resembles Cindy Crawford, or has most of the 'resonating factors' of being orderly, intelligent, profound, cooperative, and 'emotionally sound' (when it comes to communication), I 'resonate' with them -- as they are the 'physical representation' of my 'resonant possession' as an 'ideal' female, and a 'mental doppelgänger' -- as the 'reaction' which is like a 'childlike persona' which is formed within -- as I begin to 'act out' that 'personality'. The question is why a 'childlike persona'? Well one reason is that the first 'white' female that I was attracted to was when I was a young. I was a child. The second reason is because I feel as though I am able to 'let go' when I am communicating with the particular female. But it is to realize that I am not directly communicating with the female per sé, I am actually communicating with the mental doppelgänger' -- as the 'personality' that is formed within which is 'reflected' onto the being as the 'physical representation' of it.

AT&T Mental Doppelgänger

There is not only one, but several mental doppelgängers. I was into writing theories when I was younger and I actually wrote about mental doppelgängers, but didn't use the word 'mental doppelgängers': which, again, are 'resonant possessions' forming an 'image' within Self acted out onto another individual based on the preprogrammed 'symbols' within/as the mind. I called them 'auto-amniavence' instead -- 'auto' meaning Self, and 'amniavence' meaning the 'energetic signature' that is created onto an individual based on their looks by the person perceiving them creating an 'energetic duplicate' of that person within their own mind. The 'auto-amniavence' as an 'energetic signature' was simply the 'amniavence' -- as 'self-created' resonant signatures transferred onto the 'image' of another individual, but acted out within/as a specific 'personality' as a specific 'mind possession'.

There are several AT&T doppelgängers. There are two main ones which are reflected primarily onto 'white' people. They are both 'consumer based'. The 'female' version is wherein when a female speaks, a 'mental doppelgänger' is formed as a 'regurgitation' of 'memory symbolic' apertures in which my eyes start to water (as if I am about to cry) and the thought is invoked wherein I believe that women (especially 'white' women) are reprimanding me for providing them with 'poor service'. Because that is what the customers call in about -- poor service, but I am actually the 'representation' of the company. Therefore, anything that I say doesn't matter no matter how much sense it makes because I am giving them 'poor service'. So this 'reaction' created the 'personality point' within/of me of believing that the 'media' is always 'right'. Because who is actually doing the talking during the call session? It is the consumer reflected as the 'victim' to the 'media' in which I am apparently the 'media', therefore, I should 'think' as the 'media' and understand that the 'victims of the media' should be treated 'right' by basing the 'foundation' of/as my thoughts as media-based -- because then the 'victim' would understand me. So why do I say 'especially' 'white' women? Because the 'white' race, within my perspective, reflects the 'media' mostly, and the 'media', in my eyes, is simply a 'window' of what the 'government' wants you to be 'entertained' with -- in which the government comprises of a lot of 'old' 'white' men.

The 'White' Woman as the Media'

So the 'white' woman within the media would be the 'reflection' of 'fashion', 'sex', the 'dumb blonde stereotype' reflected on all 'white' women, and 'laziness'. So when I'm talking on the phone with a 'female' (especially a 'white female') at work, the 'mental doppelgänger is formed wherein I should present myself as the 'media' and 'speak' to women in a 'fashionable' sense that is 'appropriate', but not common sensical -- based on what is layed-out before me, and what is layed-out before me are the essentials that 'comprise' of the 'equipment' that is there to establish 'entertainment'. Therefore, I have to 'think' as that which is layed out before me. Many times the problem doesn't get solved, but I still have think as which is layed-out before me, which is never common-sensical, and still maintain a 'fashionable', 'appropriate' vernacular in order to be careful not to 'disappoint' the customer in a so-called 'disrespectful' matter.

So what do I mean by thinking as that which is layed-out before me? Let me give you an example. Say, for instance, you work at a radio company and someone calls in and is angry because their radio doesn't work. Well there are certain processes that is already layed-out for you in which you have to speak from. You can't speak from your own thoughts because everything is already layed out what to do -- even if it doesn't make sense. You have to speak as that which is already layed out -- which is the 'process' to get the issue resolved. Well that's what I mean. So within this point formed a mental doppelgänger representing 'limitation' when speaking with women and representing the female as the 'reflection' of 'fashion', 'sex', the 'dumb blonde stereotype', and 'laziness' because the female is simply a 'consumer' as a 'victim of the media' and 'as' the 'media' and is worried about issues present within/as the media. It's kinda hard to explain but within this doppelgänger represents a 'reaction' as a 'mind possession' wherein when I am not within the 'experience' at 'work', I am non-social -- not knowing how to 'speak' with women outside of work -- as I present myself as a 'ghost' -- believing that it's best to be 'non-sexual', non-fashionable, smart/intelligent and non-lazy in order to 'please' women -- as the 'interpretation' of what I deem that women 'want' from 'men' within the experience of work. And if I am social, fashionable, stupid (or 'acting stupid), or not 'perfecting' myself, then I won't be able to 'please' a female.

So I would like go give some more perspective on this in the form of a thought:

Stupid- ass white women. I LIKE your asses, but you don't like me because I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I TRY EVERYTHING TO PLEASE YA'LL AND THAT'S STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I'M UNEMOTIONAL JUST LIKE YOU WANT... DETACHED, SELF-SUFFICIENT, SMART, INTELLIGENT, GOT MONEY AND FUCKING STILL!! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YA'LL WANT??? DO I HAVE TO TALK LIKE A SYSTEM BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT THINK I CAN PLEASE YA'LL. SHIT... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TALK LIKE THAT! ONLY WHITE MEN WITH BLONDE HAIR THAT'S SOCIABLE KNOW HOW TO TALK ALL OF THAT BULLSHIT!

So within this thought is the 'balancing point' of how I 'deem' females as 'victims to the media' as the 'media' as the 'reflection' of 'fashion', 'sex', the 'dumb blonde stereotype' reflected on all 'white' women, and 'laziness' BECAUSE they are apparently 'talking sense' because their equipment is 'broke' and me 'unable' to assist and support them effectively -- because of me being apparently not 'good enough'.

The 'White' Man as the Media'

Now the 'white' man within the media would be the reflection of all of the 'technical aspects' that create the media, and the government as the 'creator' / 'foundation' of the media. Thus, the mental doppelgänger formed here is me as a 'slave' to the media and the government. So if a man gets on the phone at work, I am the representation of the company that should already have a 'resolution' as I am the face of the 'media' with all of the answers. There is no 'emotional' tie to men unlike women. There is more of the 'structure' of me realizing and understanding that I am a slave to the 'media' / 'government' as the 'system' and that I have to 'follow the rules' of the system as the system and 'present' all of the answers within the system as 'valid'. Thus, I have to 'trust' the system as the system. The mental doppelgänger that I walk as within/as this point would resemble two picture points:

The picture on the left would represent me as a slave in shackles -- shackled in bondage only allowed to 'walk' as the 'system'... to formulate my 'integrity' of who I am in agreement with/as the system -- never to 'go beyond' that -- within a practical 'common sense' endeavor. So whatever I do that the system 'agrees' on would be 'good', and whatever I do that goes against the 'system' would be 'bad'. This would be also defined as 'morality' -- which is why people go to jail for 'revealing' to humanity how humanity is really structured and what humanity has accepted and allowed to exist. These are the best 'preachers' / 'ministers' -- the prisoners that are behind bars showing people exactly what man is accepting and allowing to exist as 'human-ity' (human iniquity).

The picture on the right would represent me as the 'media' as the system. Having all of the answers, I present all of the answers to both men and women as 'victims to the media' or 'consumers', and if I don't have all of the answers, I am reprimanded because I am / suppose to be the 'spokesperson' for the system/media. All of the answers that I have (as the 'spokesperson' for the media) are not 'common sense answers'. All of the answers that I have are answers only meant to support the system. Anything else would be considered 'not part of the protocol'. So within this 'mental doppelgänger', I see myself as this guy on the right -- from the perspective of 'having it all together' as I 'respect' the system and everything that the system stands for because I am 'the system', and thus, I respect others as 'limitation' and slaves to the system because this is 'who we are', and that there is nothing that we can do about it. All 'common sense' answers are disregarded because it doesn't work for the system.

So I would like go give some more perspective on the image on the right in the form of a thought:

We are all in this together as 'equals'. You know, we have built a system, and quite frankly, we have to do our 'best' everyday within it to succeed. We have to 'trust in God' that everyday we'll be able to wake up and say, I'm not gonna get stressed today. I'm gonna appreciate what I have and wake up everyday with a smile on my face. I might not have all of the answers, but I know one thing... we're in this together. We are all one, and there is nothing that anyone can do to stop us because we have a plan and that plan is... success.

And I realize that we have different people on this planet. I realize that everyone is different and that we all have our individual plans. I have to respect your beliefs. I have to respect who you are because you are also a sentient being. You are me. We are all one in this together, and whatever success means to you and I, let's live that success to the fullest.

Sounds good doesn't it? But it's not. It's total separation, and that is the 'mental doppelgänger' that is existent when I am communicating to a 'white' man -- especially and 'older' white man. That is the 'mental doppelgänger' that manifests itself as me -- which is simply a 'mind possession'. So within this paragraph, "We are all in this together as equals," is simply a statement that supports we as 'equals' as 'separation' within the current system. Because even though we are equal as one, there is no practical application of that 'equality' within our world, thus, the statement that we are all 'equals' would simply be, in this case, the 'we' as 'equals' as 'separation' and 'limitation' as oneness. So to 'do our best' within the current system is to simply 'do our best' to 'support' the system 'as one' as 'equals' in/as 'separation'. And to 'do our best' also signifies us 'fighting' the system which would be the 'success' that each and every being desires within this world -- to 'succeed', but one cannot truly 'succeed' with the current system setup. Success, in this instance, would simply be a 'bandage', and not a practical solution. That whole thought construct is simply 'government talk'.

So my question to myself would be how this 'mental doppelgänger' originated. You know how people tuck in their lips if they come in close contact with you? Well, from my perspective, this is 'prominent' in 'white' men -- like a sign of 'respect'. So me being a 'black' man, would signify the 'white' man respecting the differences that we have in skin color, and sometimes 'position'. 'White' men in the past used to treat 'black' men like 'dirt'-- as 'slaves'. So therefore, since this time has 'passed', a 'respect' was formed (as, primarily, a 'superficial' form of respect), and so in relation to the statement above, it would be a form of 'respect' seeing that we are one and equal as con-sciousness no matter how 'different' we are. So within this 'mental doppelgänger' is the reflection of all of the 'technical aspects' that create the media, and the government -- as the 'creator' / 'foundation' of the media as a form of 'spirituality' -- because if you define spirituality in this sense, it means to concern with things of the 'spirit'. The 'spirit' in this sense would be the 'resonance' of man, and the 'resonance' of man would be the system as it currently exists along with the 'media' and the 'government' which are the 'parts' of the 'spirit' as the 'system'.

Man as the 'Rapist'

So I would like to move ahead now and talk about how 'rape' gets into this picture. So, like I said, the 'spirit' would be the 'resonance' of man, and the 'resonance' of man would be the system as it currently exists along with the 'media' and the 'government' which are the 'parts' of the 'spirit' as the 'system'. This forms a 'feeling' that is felt within my 'solar plexus' as if I am 'emotionally opening up' to an individual (becoming 'spiritual'). So when I am in the presence of a 'white' man with this point (primarily an 'older' white man) or a specific 'black' man, I feel as though I am being 'raped' by them because of me being 'emotionally open' to them on a subtle level because of this 'mental doppelgänger' point.

Every since I was young, I always felt 'effeminate' around 'older white men', but don't necessarily feel as if I was 'raped' by them. But within the presence of certain types of 'black' men, I feel 'raped' within their presence -- as if they are about to 'rape' me. A prophetess once informed a friend of mine that I was 'raped' when I was younger, but I don't ever recall being 'raped' by anyone. The closest experience that I have had with being raped was when an older 'white' man asked if he could suck my dick for $20.00 when I was in high school on my way home walking to the bus stop. After that instance, I felt 'violated', but I still don't see how this relates to 'black' men. I also had an unwelcoming experience with an older male acquaintance when I was around 13-17 years of age and was nearly penetrated -- which might have triggered some of the 'mental doppelgänger' point within the presence of certain black men of feeling as though I am being 'raped' by 'black' men. I also had an experience with a male that 'matched' the 'image' of the specific 'black male construct' of being 'raped' that triggered the 'mental doppelgänger' point -- in which he was 'attracted' to me, but I felt 'uneasy' simply because he was a male and was attracted to me. There was also another male that was attracted to me in the latter years in which he wanted to have a relationship with me, but again, I felt 'uneasy' because I wasn't attracted to him because he was a 'man'. Afterwards, there were two other males, but I never wanted to 'pursue' any of them sexually or in a relationship.

But when I look at all of these factors, I realize that the starting point of this 'mental doppelgänger' point was because I defined myself as 'skinny' and 'fragile'. So with this 'fragility' -- it 'matched' the 'feeling' of being 'emotionally open' and the 'reaction' to that was that I am 'susceptible' to being 'raped' by a 'bigger man' because I am 'skinny' and 'fragile'. I always tried to 'cover up' my body because I believed that I was 'too skinny' and still believe that I am and 'susceptible' to men being 'attracted' to me in which that has happened -- which is the reason that I feel 'feminine' around 'white men' and the reason that I feel 'susceptible' to a 'black man' raping me, and which is the reason that I tend to 'cover up' my 'emotions' to not want to experience that 'susceptibility' towards men (trying to act 'hard' and 'tough' around men) -- and which is also the reason that I feel 'childlike' towards certain women -- all because of the point of me believing that I am 'skinny'. So with this point of 'skinniness' even goes further -- realizing that the starting point of me 'believing' that I am 'too skinny' was actually because I didn't want to accept the 'innocent' nature of me as 'expression' seen as 'being soft' and not 'tough' as how a 'man' should be. Although 'being soft' would be the 'mind's interpretation' of 'innocence' based on the 'image' of my physical body and 'behavioral attributes', but would be the 'best' to describe this point. So the self-judgment of being 'too soft' would be the 'foundation' of my belief that I am 'too skinny' -- which is the reason that I tend to 'cover up' my 'emotions' to not want to experience that 'susceptibility' towards myself -- reflected onto 'men' (trying to act 'hard' and 'tough' around men) -- and which is also the reason that I feel 'childlike' towards certain women -- all because of the point of this 'susceptibility' as 'effeminacy' -- as the 'covering up' of 'expression' as who I am 'here'.

So within all that is said, the point would then be what would have 'caused' the point of 'effeminacy'? The 'fear' of 'letting go' within/as 'innocence', therefore judging the apparent 'effeminacy' within/as being 'skinny -- believing that I have to be 'hardcore' and 'masculine' to be a 'true definition' of a 'man'. This would be the 'definition' of that as what we define 'man' as -- which is the 'reflection' of our 'inner nature' as 'ruthless' -- believing that we have to live a 'ruthless' life in order to 'survive' in the world. Thus, the point of 'effeminacy' as 'innocence' should be ostracized, according to our thinking patterns, -- because it is no more a 'practical resolution' of 'survival'. Innocence has simply become another 'living pattern' lived by some who 'believe' that 'innocence' is the 'way of life' as we continue our daily lives of 'murdering' and 'raping' others in order to 'succeed'. So 'effeminacy' would be the mind's interpretation of 'innocence' as who I am -- which is 'ostracized' through/by memories of 'ideas' about how I 'should behave' based on my sex as a 'man'.

That is an interesting point wherein' it reminds me of how the whole mind is constructed according to Desteni. On the 'right' side would be 'structure' (as the male) and on the left would be 'expression' (as the 'female'). Thus, I am, within this whole mental doppelgänger point fighting between 'expression' and 'structure' as the 'mind's interpretation' of what expression and structure means from a 'male' and 'female' ego perspective. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to 'let' go of 'personality' as 'expression' (female) and 'structure' (male) instead of me expressing me within and as oneness and equality of life -- the purity expression of me as life -- undefined by male and female, man and woman.

So to make a final explanation on the 'mental doppelgänger' construct, within every word that is said, one subtly changes their 'personality' based on the 'memories' and 'symbols' that one possesses in relation to the word that was uttered or heard, and then one 'plays out' this 'personality' within/as an 'experience' that one is participating in. Here is an exact Desteni perspective of what a 'mental doppelgänger' is. It's funny how Desteni calls it 'double charged relationship' (doppel: meaning 'double' in German) -- which is 'exactly' what it is:

In the moment of seeing before you blink, say for instance, your parents are fighting. Their specific body language movements, their specific facial expressions, and their specific voice tonalities – the voice tonalities being the ‘most important aspect’ – sends ‘electrical impulses’ within and throughout your entire mind consciousness system within and as your human physical body. The ‘voice tonalities’ of your parents fighting is transferred through your ears and then ‘transformed’ into ‘electrical impulses’ within and as your mind consciousness system – then ‘connects’ to a specific ‘emotion / feeling’ with similar signature ‘electrical impulse’ as the voice tonalities which come from your parents as ‘anger and frustration’ for instance – which ‘double charge and form a synergy’ within your ‘emotional and feeling generator’ within your solar plexus, then ‘absorbed’ by the specific ‘magnetic frequency thread’ of the ‘I Mind System Design’ and then transferred into Framework Placements within both your left and right eye (K1 and K2) – to align in preparation of the ‘mind picture moment’ capturing. So – let’s go into specifics:

Your parent’s ‘voice tonalities’ are charged with a specific ‘electrical impulse’ – because as they’re ‘verbally fighting’ – their ‘voicing’ of themselves as their sound tonalities comes from / originate from an ‘emotional reaction origin’ within them – let’s use for example the emotions ‘anger and frustration’. So – the sound of their voices come from the origin of ‘anger and frustration’ electrical impulses within them – transformed into the sound of their voices – the sound of their voices filled with the sound vibration of anger and frustration because the origin from which they’re ‘expressing’ themselves is ‘anger and frustration’.

Now – you hear, through your ears the sound of your parent’s voice tonalities – as the sound of their voices infiltrate your ears – the sound is transformed into ‘electro-magnetic impulses’ – which is absorbed within and as your mind consciousness system. Now – these ‘particular electro-magnetic impulses’ contain the essence of the emotions as ‘anger and frustration’ as that which your parents’ voice tonalities / sounds consists of. The moment the ‘electro-magnetic impulses’ is absorbed within your mind consciousness system – it immediately ‘connects’ within your ‘emotional / feeling generator system’ which consists of the exact same ‘electro-magnetic impulse’ signatures’ as the emotions of ‘anger and frustration’ – and ‘forms a double charged relationship’. The moment this ‘double charged relationship occurs’ – the specific ‘magnetic frequency thread’ of the I Mind system Design is so ‘programmed’ to ‘absorbed this double charged’ ‘electro-magnetic impulses’ of the emotions as ‘anger and frustration’ interpreted by your mind consciousness system – exactly as it occurs within your parents’ mind consciousness system while they’re fighting – and then transferred from within the ‘emotional / feeling generator’ straight into the ‘framework placement alignment’ within your eyes – to prepare for the ‘mind picture moment’ capturing within K1 and K2 – so that the moment when you blink – the picture pixels together with your ‘reaction’ within you aligned align the framework placements within the eyes – are captured to form the ‘mind picture moment’. Thus – the moment when the ‘double charge’ occurs within your ‘emotional / feeling centre’ – is the experience of you ‘reacting’ – when actually what you see with your human physical eyes of your parents’ fighting is your mind consciousness system interpreting / understanding the moment through that which you see with your human physical eyes.

So this would be 'exactly' what a 'mental doppelgänger' is. So it is to, within my reality, break every 'mental doppelgänger resonant point' down and realize/understand what the actual 'driving force' is 'as' the experience that I am experiencing. Here is some 'general' self-forgiveness that I'd like to share.

Self-Forgiveness:

The 'ghostly double' of a person is the 'mental relationship' that I have established with an individual based on my 'memories' as thoughts, feelings, and emotions forming a 'relationship-tie' to that individual. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, thus, 'blame' another based on my relationship that I have created with them within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my 'memories' are 'bigger' than me, thus, having to 'live me' as a 'memory' instead of 'here' within/as every breath of/as innocence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place 'happiness' on 'relationship' -- believing that I need a 'relationship' in order to be happy -- instead of realizing that I am accepting myself as 'limitation' based on another person's 'energetic influences' becoming the 'I' of 'energy' -- as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that all 'relationships' is the 'relationship' that I have with 'myself' as 'mind constructs', systems, ideas, patterns, behaviors, personas, symbols -- that create the 'I' of who I am as con-sciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need more 'energy' from something 'outside' of me in order to be 'fulfilled' instead of realizing that I am 'here' as all as one and 'equal' to all 'outside influences' which is 'me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'define' me based on the 'double charged relationship' that I have with thoughts, feelings and emotions -- forming a 'mental doppelgänger' that I become 'possessed' by -- through mind consciousness system relationships.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that forming a 'reaction' to something, I am, in fact, incessantly declaring me as the 'I' of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'judge' myself based on another person's body image -- declaring myself as 'less than' that individual.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'media' is always 'right' -- instead of realizing that I am accepting and declaring 'image', ideals, beauty, 'personality', fashion, symbols, etc. as the 'driving force' and 'foundation' of who I am as the 'I' of con-sciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire 'sex' and to believe that it is the 'driving force' of who I am as the 'living principle' of me as me instead of realizing that I am 'equal and one' as SEX as DESIRE -- which means that I don't have to search for sex elsewhere 'outside' of me using 'desire' as a tool of self-manipulation and 'separation'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use 'fashion' as a 'tool' of self-deception -- in order to be 'accepted' by another -- instead of realizing that I am equal as one as all 'here' as 'life'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not 'good enough' for 'white' women -- thus having to 'make myself smarter' in order to be accepted by women -- instead of realizing that I am declaring myself as a 'symbol' as 'intelligence' -- only existing and accepting myself as a 'symbol' rather than the 'expression' of me as me in every moment of breath -- which 'transcends' symbols as con-sciousness enslavement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too 'sex-filled' for women -- thus having to 'make myself sexless' in order to be accepted by women -- instead of realizing that I am 'declaring sex' as who I am as a 'personality symbol' driven by 'sex' to create my 'integrity' of who I am as a mind con-sciousness system and accepting 'personality' as the 'motivator' of my existence to establish relationships of 'energy'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider ethics as 'right' -- establishing a 'personality' based on 'right' and 'wrong' and other people's judgments about what and how it is to 'live right' and 'just' -- instead of realizing that I am 'living' and establishing my life by the 'congregation' of 'personality symbols' that walk within/as 'cult-ure' -- declaring my enslavement based on 'ethics'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'live' based on what is 'layed out before me' -- which is mind consciousness systematic programs that 'live' and 'justify' living as 'enslavement' through/as 'purpose'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'limitation', and thus, have to 'live' by it through the 'symbols' of man as the 'I' of the mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to 'please' a 'female' instead of realizing that within the point of the 'desire' for 'pleasure' is the 'desire' for Self as self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need to 'please' a 'female' instead of realizing that I am actually 'pleasing' the points of/as me as the 'totality' of a 'resonant principle' reflected onto an individual -- of symbols, thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, etc. that I have accepted and allowed to 'create' who I am as a 'personality symbol'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is about 'pleasing mind-constructs' as 'relationships' as 'personality enslavement' reflected as 'experiences' onto/as others within my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a particular 'image' that I should 'become' instead of realizing that I am simply wishing to become that which I have formed as 'symbolic apertures' of who I am as a mind-consciousness system which is not real -- enslaved by symbols as thoughts, feelings, emotions, ideas, perceptions, beliefs, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be 'programmable' and programmed by words and sound frequencies creating 'mental doppelgängers' of 'mind possession'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am only programmable and able to be programmed by words and sound frequencies if I am 'separate from' the 'programmers' as well as 'sound frequencies' and words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'more than' another creating myself as 'less than' through words and sound frequencies -- living 'polarity' as 'personality and 'mind possession'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am 'equal and one' as the programmer and the 'programmed' accepting myself as a 'program' by the 'programmer' which is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for the programming of/as me based on the 'image' that they represent -- instead of realizing that I am the programmer programming myself based on 'image' by the acceptance and allowance of me to be 'possessed' by the 'memories' of/as me that create the 'profoundness' of 'image' as 'more than' me 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place 'mental doppelgängers' (as 'double-charged relationships') as 'more than' me -- believing that I have to 'act it out' to be 'at peace' with it -- 'declaring' myself as a 'slave' to a 'reaction' to my own creation -- supporting 'separation' as self-exploitation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize 'morality' as a 'preference' of self-justification based on one's own reality of what is 'right' and 'wrong' -- supporting the 'preprogrammed' nature of/as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the point of 'success' 'more than' me -- believing that I need to 'seek it' in order to 'be made whole' with myself -- proclaiming that I am not 'whole here', and that I have to seek it 'somewhere else' -- 'outside of me' in order to be 'happy with who I am'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the 'mental doppelgänger' present as 'me' of/as the 'mind-consciousness system' and that I have to 'walk' that point in order to 'release' it -- through thoughts, feelings and emotions instead of walking who I am as Life -- every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'limit' myself as 'less than' the current structure of/as the system -- accepting 'failure' as an excuse to continue my self-interests.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and accept me as 'oneness' (to the current system), thus, placing 'trust' within/as a person or 'body' within/as the 'current system' to 'save us' instead of me taking self-responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist wihtin/as a 'collective'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'abdicate' my responsibility to another -- with a 'higher position' and/or more 'voice' and/or more 'money' than me -- believing that I can do nothing about the current 'system' that exists -- instead of standing up and taking self-responsibility for 'me' as 'me' -- as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within/as the current system that exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'doing my best' entails charity and 'giving' instead of realizing that I am simply supporting the system to remain existent as it exists -- supporting who I am as 'less than' the system through charities and giving -- instead of 'getting to the core' of the problem which is the 'inner man'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'respect' the mind within/as 'reaction' -- remaining a slave 'reaction' and to the 'image' that 'respect' exhibits.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'define' me based on my 'position' in the world and to create a 'personalitiy' as 'possession' and 'walk' that 'personality point' because of my 'position' within the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the 'spirit' and to make my own 'creation' as something 'larger' than me and 'seeking' that 'grandiosity' to satisfy my own feelings of the desire to 'know more'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me based on my thoughts, feelings and emotions -- walking as the point (as the resonant possesion), and establishing myself as 'energy' rather than 'stability'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me based on the 'image' that I present myself as -- walking a point of 'possession', and establishing myself as 'energy' rather than 'stability' as 'breath'.

More Self-Forgiveness on the Forehead Point has correlation to this blog:

http://www.desteni.co.za/a/veno-structural-resonance-part-four-phase-2