Self-Forgiveness (11-30-2010)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am masculine, I am just another 'regular man'.

I forgive myself that I have defined myself as 'masculine' or 'feminine'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place 'specialness' within the point of 'femininity'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place 'specialness' within the point of 'androgyny'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me within/as the constructs of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my 'femininity' believing that is wrong for a man to express femininity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be 'special'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'specialness' exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'special'.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted my 'masculinity' as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/give masculinity an image/identity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/give femininity an image/identity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'want' to be 'more feminine' to 'feel special'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place me within a 'gender box' in order to 'fight' to place myself 'outside' of a 'gender box' in order to 'feel special'.

Specialness is the 'want', need, and 'desire' to be engaged within a specific 'energetic construct' in order to 'believe' and to 'live' a point that can only exist within/as the mind consciousness system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within the realm of the mind consciousness system instead of realizing that I am not, don't consist of, and don't need to be engaged in 'energy' in order to 'live'.... in order to 'be'.... in order to exist.... in order to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be 'noticed' in order to gain 'attention' from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/remain self-dishonest -- putting on an impression of 'blind enthusiasm' in order to 'please' others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to 'please' others in order to be 'validated' as a mind-consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire 'love' instead of realizing that the 'love' that I desire is the 'idea' that I have about the other person that I created within me -- creating a 'projected feeling/experience' that I call 'love' -- which has nothing to do with the actual person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within/as the apparent 'energy' of 'love'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'love' exists as an 'energetic construct', and that it is my 'duty' to 'seek' love in order to be happy/fulfilled -- instead of realizing that I am 'whole'. Energy only needs fulfillment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to desire to make something that I believe is 'more than me' my 'spirituality' -- to seek it and find it in order to become whole instead of realizing that I am already whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not whole, and that I need some form of 'energy' to make me whole'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make 'womahood' a 'spiritual quest' -- believing that 'womanhood' is 'more than' who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' lesbian and gay relationships instead of realizing that all relationships are equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' lesbian and gay relationships because of the image of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' 'image'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'specialize' myself within/as a label(s). I am not special.