Aela: This will have to be fully transcended through agreement and sex, but self-forgiveness will suffice for now. Why do you have a strong resistance towards people (primarily women)? Let us talk about it through self-forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear intimacy towards women because of the belief that 'sex' is taboo and that nothing sexually-related should be uttered or executed.
Aela: How did this start?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that women are non-sexual and unemotional because of their past (in general) due to the abuse (physically, psychologically and emotionally) of/from men.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the fact that it could be the 'female' that accept and allow abuse done unto them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the point of being 'asexual' in order to not 'hurt' women sexually.
Aela: You can never hurt a female. You can only 'hurt' yourself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to 'hurt' women directly instead of realizing that I am the one that 'hurts' myself through reaction creating the experience of 'hurt' through another.
Aela: Whatever kind of abuse that you do to a female is the abuse that you are reflecting to yourself because you have abused yourself.
Thanks Aela. I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the 'abuse' that I do unto a 'female', is the abuse that I am reflecting to myself because I have abused myself.
Leon: It's funny; I've never abused a female before.
Aela: But you are abusing yourself by allowing this reaction towards women, and slowly but surely if you don't stand and take directive principle, the abuse will be reflected through you actually abusing women on a physical level.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'live' the point that I 'abused' women in a past life and that I have to make up for it by showing no emotion, and showing that I am 'righteous' and non-sexual towards women.
Aela: So this point is coming from a past life?
Leon: Well I think since I've never had sex, I see myself as 'unwanted' by women because 'deep down' I desire sex with a female and maybe they can see that point of desire superficially which causes me to 'naturally' repel women.
Aela: Why would they be repelled?
Leon: Because in my mind, I be wanting to 'rape' women for not giving me sex, and so there's that point wherein I have to act as if I have no sexual desire.
Aela: Hmmmm, now it's making more sense. Is that a strong point within you?
Leon: No, but it's there.
Aela: How do you 'rape' them?
Leon: Well if I see a female, I might just start having sex with them in my head, or think of some kinky things to do with them while their talking about insignificant things like school and work. It used to not be like that but when I find it difficult to even communicate with a female, then that's when these thoughts form. I mean come on. Who wants to talk about school and work?
Aela: Leon, you have to 'push' yourself to get over this fear of intimacy towards women no matter whats in your mind about them.
Leon: Yeeaaaahh
Aela: So tell me; why would you want to have sex with a female as a female rather than a male?
Leon: Because it's the point of men abusing women and it's another point of actually wanting to be female and have a relationship with a female.
Aela: The abuse of women always starts with self-abuse. Let's do forgiveness on that.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that abuse always starts with self-abuse.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take self-responsibility for self-abuse through self-forgiveness and self-application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'follow' my thoughts and to believe that what I am thinking is 'right' and that to 'live' my thoughts (as reaction and self-abuse) is how I 'should' live in order to not 'hurt' anybody.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be 'asexual' as a reaction of not wanting to 'hurt' a female psychologically by showing signs of intimacy towards a female.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being intimate is 'bad'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be/remain 'professional' in order to not talk about sex or be 'intimate' with a female.
Aela: What kind of self-intimacy are you missing?
Leon: Ummm, I don't know?
Aela: The self-intimacy is living 'free' from 'reaction' and simply allowing yourself to 'breathe' -- as the simplicity of who you are 'here'.
Leon: Oh!
Aela: Because not allowing yourself to experience intimacy with is a point of reaction by the belief that you are 'doing good' by allowing yourself to remain 'sexless'. Or at least showing yourself to be that way on a superficial level.
Leon: Yeah.
Aela: So work with that. Work with being intimate with yourself by just allowing yourself to breathe as the simplicity of who you are 'here' with no reaction.
Leon: Okay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all women are sexless, and that it is wrong to experience/have sex with a female.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as a man, I have to be 'qualified' to have 'sex' with a female by 'acting sexless'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'want' to be female from the perspective that I am 'freely' able to have sex with a female if I was a female.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'difficult' and 'not suitable' to have sex with a female as a man because of the point of 'abuse'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is 'bad'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'better' than the ones who 'have kids' because they have given into 'failure' because of the point of sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is 'more than' who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is 'less than' who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is 'taboo'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is 'wrong'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex is only for people that have a great deal of 'wisdom' about the psychology of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am 'too tall' because of the point of 'abuse' towards women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that women are insecure around me because I am 'too tall' by their cognizance that they know that I have abused them in a past life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all women know me on a subconscious level as the man that abused many women in a past life.
Aela: Remember, all abuse come from self-abuse.
Leon: Okay.
Aela: The reason that you probably raped them in a past life is because of the same point that you're thinking/living now -- "Women don't want me so I'm going to suppress myself by acting as if I am sexless." But in the past life, you couldn't direct that point because you didn't know how to. Now you do. You direct in within/as your breath through self-forgiveness and self-application.
Leon: Yes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a certain look in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to believe that I have to look a certain way in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to fix myself up as 'more feminine' in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be shorter in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a little brighter in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have less muscle mass in order to be accepted by women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that some women are special because of their accent and the way they look.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'specialness' exists in an accent.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people that have 'specific accents' are better and 'more intelligent' than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define as 'intelligence'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need 'more intelligence' in order to be accepted by society.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need more 'social intelligence' in order to be accepted by women instead of realizing that social intelligence is the binding and participation in 'energy' within a relationship.
No comments:
Post a Comment