07 January 2010

SF over my Cousin

So my uncle introduced me to a cousin of mine that I have drawn very close to. Seems as though, as Bernard calls it, having a strong 'pulse' with her. Reason being? Well because of the specific memory constructs in me that defines me as a mind system. Even though Tyra was imaginary, the relationship we had was adequate. Therefore, the way she looks and my cousin looks are very similar in style. Therefore, memory constructs within me activated and pulsated with my cousin. This can be mistaken for 'love'. I have told her that I 'love' her, but I informed her eventually that I didn't understand why I was telling her because they were 'empty' words so I stopped telling her, but I do care for her. She also reminds me of my mom when she was young and my whole side of my mom's family because of the way that she looks which activated another memory construct in me towards her. So there you have it, lol. Funny thing is she knows that I was attached to her simply because of who she is. But as far as process, maybe I should just embrace her and stop trying to 'break' something when there is no sufficient reason to. But one thing that I don't like about her is taking her to get beer all of the time, but there is no adequate reason for her to stop because she's not going to change anyway.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my cousin is 'special' because of the way she looks believing that since she looks like Sunette, she is as specific and 'authentic' as Sunette.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge another because of the way they look believing that if a person resembles another person, they have similar personalities.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'less than' other people because I am not as 'intelligent' as them.

'Intelligence' is a factor of the mind-consciousness system and has become a custom. "If you are 'more intelligent' then you are deemed as 'special', because society in itself sees itself as hopeless"

Hope is hopeless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that since my cousin resembes 'Sunette' she should act like her. What am I assuming about my cousin? -- That everything she says is specific and authentic, instead of realizing that that is not the case. I am looking at my cousin as if she is 'in process' of stopping her mind and so everything that she does, is 'authentic'. What do I need to do to realize what I am actually accepting and allowing? I need to realize that the physical presentation of a person doesn't 'make' them. Who they are doesn't have anything to do with physical appearance, BUT the physical appearance can create a person's behavior out of 'separation' of what that person is accepting and allowing them to define themselves as according to their physical body. So I forgive myself for making the assumption that if a particular being resembles another being, they should act like them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to assume that since my cousin resembled 'Tyra' she should act like her. I am expecting my cousin to be as 'consistent' as 'Tyra' was.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'more than' my cousin because I am 'in process'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'more than' my cousin because I don't have any kids.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my cousin shouldn't have kids because Sunette doesn't have any kids --- placing my cousin as Sunette believing that if she looks like her, she should act like her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'more than' my cousin because I am more 'coherent'.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'more than' my cousin because I seemingly 'got it more together' than her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am 'more than' my cousin because I am 'less emotional'.

40 comments:

  1. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.............................................

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  2. 不只BLOG內容很棒留言也很精采 XDDDD.........................

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  3. 過去的事早已消失,未來的更是渺不可知,只有現在是真實的。 ..................................................

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  4. 以簡單的行為愉悅他人的心靈,勝過千人低頭禱告。........................................

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  5. 人不能像動物一樣活著,而應該追求知識和美德..................................................

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  6. 婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。..................................................................

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  7. Judge not a book by its cover.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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  8. 人必須心懷希望,才會活的快樂,日子才過得充實,有意義,有朝氣,有信心。......................................................

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