The other day, I was in a hotel, and I realized that I started thinking and imagining things when I was coming from a Walmart store in the morning time, and the more that I entertained the particular thoughts, there was a subtle emergence of a 'feeling' resonating within me. And so in that moment, I recognized that I had a shift in my awareness and did some self-forgivenesses in relation to the content that emerged as a way of directing my awareness back into physical reality, and as a way to expand my awareness -- meaning that, through doing self-forgiveness in relation to the content of the thoughts that emerged, I am able to see / learn more about myself because of the very point of looking at the content which is what the particular thoughts consisted of in relation to the parts and detail of the thoughts as their 'invigorating essence'. So in this blog, I will write some self-forgivenesses in relation to this 'shift' in awareness, and some commitments that I will commit myself to do when I realize that I am going into a shift in awareness in the future. For more context of what self-forgiveness is, you can read my perspective of self-forgiveness by clicking on this link.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself shift in my awareness by thinking or imagining about something / someone when I am not making an aware decision in that moment to shift in my awareness.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that shifting in my awareness means that I am either thinking, imagining, etc. in my mind without being aware that I am thinking or imagining, or that I am aware of the fact that I am thinking and imagining, but not directing the thoughts, memories, and images that emerge in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand the paradox that part of my awareness can be in my mind bringing up random thoughts, memories, and imaginations.... part of my awareness can be in my mind thinking about those very thoughts, memories, and imaginations.... and that part of my awareness can be physically interacting with reality, but not fully engaged in it due to my awareness in the moment of thinking / imagining being 'split' three-fold.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind to 'automate' / 'systematize' part of my awareness that is used to bring up particular thoughts, memories and imaginations, and then 'react' to my own awareness that is bringing up these thoughts that I believe are 'separate' from me.
I commit myself to stop reacting to my own thoughts, memories, imaginations, etc. because I realize that there is no one else that is bringing up these memories / thoughts / imaginations but myself, and so thus, I commit myself to ask myself why is it that the particular thoughts that I think, the particular memories that I think about, or the particular things that I imagine are the type of thoughts, memories, imaginations, etc. that I entertain on a daily basis to the point that they have become relatively automated in my mind with little or no direction on my end.
I commit myself to see the whole of myself in relation to being aware of the thoughts, memories, imaginations, etc. that emerge in my mind because I realize that when I am 'aware' of what kind of things emerge in my mind in the form of thoughts, memories, imaginations, etc., I have more of a capacity to understand them, when they emerge, how they emerge, why they emerge, and what I can do to direct them.
I commit myself to direct the things that come up in my mind by directing my relationship to them by assessing the particular emotions and feelings that I connected to a partiular thought, memory, imagination, etc. because I see, realize, and understand that each thought, memory, imagination, etc. that emerges from within my mind is a part of me. Thus, I see, realize, and understand that reacting to them is, in essence, reacting to myself regardless of whether the content that emerged in my mind is 'positive' or 'negative'.
I commit myself to stabilize myself in the presence of a thought, memory, image, etc. that emerges in my mind instead of reacting to them because I realize that everything that comes up in my mind in the form of a thought, memory, image, imagination, etc. -- is ME, and so taking this into consideration, I commit myself to ask myself -- why is it that I react to my own self when a thought or a memory comes up within myself? What value have I given to that thought or that memory that I perceive is 'separate' from me?
I forgive that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a thought that I am thinking, or a memory that I am thinking about, or an imagination that is playing out in my mind is 'separate' from me instead of realizing that in order for these things to exist the way they do in the form of a thought, an image, a memory, etc. I have to be the one that is making a decision to allow them to play out in my mind, and so thus, not realize that each and every thought, imagination, memory, etc. is moved by a 'decision' that I have made on some level within myself.
I commit myself to assess the 'value' of my decisions by making a decision in each moment when a thought comes up on whether I will allow myself to be subjugated to the content of the thought or the memory, etc., or whether will decide to stabilize myself by shifting my awareness back into physical reality which will assist and support me in making decisions that have no emotional influence because I realize that when a decision has an emotional influence, the decision that is being made is a decision that will reinforce / support something in my mind that my awareness has been shifted in (such as a thought, memory, etc.). And so I commit myself to ensure that I remain grounded into physical reality instead of in the mind which is where my awareness is most stable.