I realize that there are many things that make up an emotional experience such as 'desire', 'anger' or 'sadness', for example. And two points that make up an emotional experience, for instance, are: 1. the emotions or feelings involved that are experienced internally, and 2. the physical responses / behaviors that are connected to the particular emotion or feeling that are 'acted out' as a 'response' with the emotion or the feeling, and intensified by it. Some physical responses would be, for example, staring at a person which is then intensified by a 'feeling' which makes the point of staring at a person seem like a 'special' moment. Another example would be moving the eyes in a specific direction at something or someone that was influenced by a 'feeling' that 'attracted' oneself to the particular person. A third example would be creating the tendency / desire to speak certain words to someone that was influenced by an emotion or a feeling that stimulated oneself to speak the respective word such as 'Hi', or the phrase 'How are you?' to someone.
I did not realize that these small movements / gestures, and words can be the result of me being influenced by a particular emotion or a feeling, and so here in this blog, I will write some self-forgivenesses in relation to this point as a way of assisting and supporting myself to be aware of this point, and to, when and as I am faced with this point in the future, I will have the awareness to be able to 'move' myself out of such cognitive influences to be able to remain 'stable' and present with who I am and what I am doing in real-time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of the changes that takes place within myself that results in an emotional experience that I 'act out'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to emotional experiences from the perspective of believing that because emotional experiences can become 'intense' in relation to how I 'feel' when I experience emotions and feelings, perceive them to be 'real' from the perspective of believing that the 'intensity' thereof, of emotions and feelings, is an 'expression' that is coming forth from me, and so I must 'act it out'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit 'reality' and 'self-expression' to 'intensity' from the perspective of believing that in order for something to be 'real', 'acceptable', and / or something that comes forth as an 'expression' within myself, that it must have a level of 'intensity' that can 'affect' me to be able 'respond' to it in a sufficient matter.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I 'respond' to something or someone with an emotion or a feeling, that I am 'responding' to it / them with a certain level of intensity that the particular emotion or feeling contains, but not realize what I have missed which is everything that happened before I 'acted out' the particular emotion or feeling, which is all of the information that lead to me 'reacting' in the moment. And so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when and as I MISS information about a particular moment, in relation to why / how the moment is being played out, that I will 'react' to it with an 'emotion' which is 'in-fact a 'giving up' point because of me not being aware and willing to assess the moment in detail to be able to stabilize myself to it.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that whether I am aware of what's going on within a moment or not aware of what's going on in a particular moment, that I am still responsible, and that I contribute to the information that is being processed in / as every moment. Thus, I commit myself to expand my awareness to be able to be aware of the information and the processes that are being created each and every moment to be able to effectively align to it so that I do not have to go into emotional reactions as 'giving up' points that I 'act out' throughout the day.