This blog will be a continuation of self-forgiveness from the blog Relationship Dynamics Part 5-1: Seeing Everyone as Perfect.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents as perfect based on the knowledge and information that I accumulated from them, and to perpetuate / shape this knowledge and information within my life as I develop a personality that aligns with this knowledge and information as 'experience' as the belief that within knowledge and information, I am about to be effective in my life when not realizing that this effectiveness is only effectiveness from an external perspective, but that actual effectiveness is seeing, realizing, and understanding the relationships that I constructed as myself in relation to the world, and taking those points and deconstructing the value that I given to it -- as the value of and as limitation that I have accepted and allowed myself to be, and within this value of limitation -- seek and search for those that are seemingly 'perfect' in their world and reality -- who in-fact reflects what I have not given to myself which is the value of actual effectiveness as of self-introspection.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within self-justification as a point of self-interest by justifying who I am as a personality in relation to this world and reality by using the 'truth' as a means of solidifying self-justification in order to hide the dynamics of who I really am within this -- instead of realizing that the truth of the matter is always internal, and that the external truth is simply a 'mirror' of the internal truth. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself to me, but instead, externalize myself through and as placing 'trust' within and as the external reality in which parts of the external reality are made 'superior' as a point to bring 'balance' through and as the inferiority that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inferior to "L. L." because of the words and movements that are expressed from her through and as her form that I also separated myself from -- as the very nature of "nurture" that I have not given to me, but observed the point of "nurture" from the mind and specialized it as a point of 'perfection' within superiority -- instead of giving to myself the value of "nurture" as the value of me through and as the letter "N" representing the Nothingness / Substance (U) reversed into and as the (R) representing the Right as the Negative to the (U) as the reversal of the Negative to the Neutral of and as "me" as who I am -- and the Positive as "more of me" defined within self-fulfillment creating friction who takes (R) representing self-responsibility to assist and support myself to develop and grow in ways that provide for the opportunity to bring birth (E) as equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my process by separating myself from those whom I see as 'superior' than me based on how I believed and perceived myself to be 'inferior' -- existing within and as positivity -- which I defined as perfection, and negativity which I defined as imperfection -- of which I placed / defined myself within 'neutrality' wanting the 'positive' that I defined as perfection -- instead of realizing that which I defined as positive and negative is that which I judged based on my own understanding / interpretation of the definition what perfection is, but only based perfection within the mind -- hindering myself to really see clearly and common-sensically the value of seeing 'here' in equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an imaginary friend called "Tyra" as a manifested competition between me and women -- a competition that I created within my mind in order to fuel my mind -- feed my mind based on how I trusted myself to operate within and as my mind -- a personality that seeks out energy for its own survival through positive experiences that are in-fact inverted negative experiences -- because positive can only be birthed within the negative. Thus, within this creation of an imaginary friend that I called Tyra, is me creating a 'superiority' over a perceived 'superiority' as females based on how I depict females as nurturing and me not nurturing because I never redefining the word "nurture" and practically lived it in ways that support and provide a path that is common-sensical and relevant to the world to bring about equality and oneness as the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see everyone as perfect because I defined myself as 'imperfect' -- needing 'relationships' to make me 'perfect' -- defining 'perfection' and 'imperfection' as the amount of relationships that I acquire within my daily living -- thus to believe that the more relationships that I have with words and people, the more 'perfect' I am -- instead of realizing that self-perfection is the process of deconstructing the value that self have given self -- which are the 'values' of and as 'knowledge and information' that has been 'seeded' into and as self as that principle that self moves as -- thus within this movement, not realize that I become an organic robot moved and directed by and as 'relationships' instead of being and becoming the 'directive principle' which means that I have to give up my relationship -- as giving up the relationship-ties, the bonds, etc. that creates an 'energy' to that as 'reactions' that I live by and as -- instead of realizing that I am 'here' equal and one as all 'here' -- and that to in-fact walk to the point of equality and oneness means that all relationships have to cease to exist because it is these very relationships that are manifested 'strings' of self-deception, self-fulfillment, self-satisfaction, the pursuit of happiness, self-pleasure, self-interest -- all of that which makes self 'happy' within 'positivity' which is the delusion all along, and thus, the ultimate positivity, I defined as self-perfection instead of redefining self-perfection in a way that the self becomes "PUR" -- free of extraneous elements of any kind = free from reactions where one is not "FECT" -- affected by anyone or anything, but one is in-fact walking as the directive principle and knows where and how self is in-fact moving as self, because when one does not know how they are directing themselves -- why they are angry, sad, and why one existed within that reaction, then one is in-fact manipulating self within how one has defined themselves within relationships -- which are always limited to how that relationship is constructed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust others based on the belief that they are 'perfect' -- that they have no desires, no reactions, no back-chat, but are simply pure within and as their everyday processes -- instead of giving myself that perfection within not being affected by another -- which I projected into and as a form of 'trust' -- instead of trusting myself equal and one with and as all and to realize that because of the shape of the world that we live in -- how can purity in-fact exist because the world is in-fact a mirror of our self-abuse within thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, etc.