01 April 2012

2012 | My Spiritual Quest for Enlightenment through Alchemy

There are many different types of spiritual practices in the world. I defined spirituality as a path, or process, that I can 'walk' wherein I am able to reach a point of self-realization of and for myself -- where I come from, and why I am here within/as this world and reality. One of the spiritual practices that I participated in was a form of Gnosticism in which I learned more about their perspective of consciousness. My core goal was to have access to the 'other side' -- being able to leave my physical body and find out what's really going on on the 'other side'. So I researched on the internet, and found an organization that exercised a mixture of Mystic and Gnostic studies called 'Mysticweb'. Mysticism is basically the knowledge and experience of states of consciousness, and levels of "beingness" beyond normal human perception -- which includes communion with dimensional beings such as beings that died, random beings from dimensional plane layers that never incarnated on Earth, significant beings that incarnated on Earth in the past such as Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Muhammad, etc. Gnosticism is a religious/spiritual orientation advocating 'gnosis' as the way to release a person's 'spiritual element'. Gnosis is basically acquired 'spiritual' knowledge. Thus, I saw Gnosticism simply as a path of acquiring 'spiritual' knowledge within/as my 'spiritual process' to become self-realized -- realizing the essence of who and what I am and consist of/as -- within/as this world and existence.

Within Mysticweb, I firstly learned about the basic elements of what astral projection is, and what it consists of/as. From my understanding, I learned that astral projection was the process of releasing oneself from the physical reality into/as the meta-physical existence -- as what it is known today as the 'other-side', or the 'dimensions'. There was a certain person on the internet that I read about who kept a journal everyday of his experiences of travelling the astral plane wherein I learned the structure and mechanics of how the astral dimension works. The Astral dimension is supposedly, according to what I researched at that time, part of the 5th dimension -- which is the exact same as our physical existence, but only consistent of a higher vibration. Another difference is that the structure of the astral plane would be a bit more 'fluid' than the physical plane. Within the astral plane, there would be access to quantum time, and the ability to see multi-dimensionally that we as human beings presently do not have -- as an ability. Thus, I could then take my experiences that I accumulated within the astral dimension and relay them to the public as 'valid truths' by my own direct seeing.

One of the key lessons within Mysticweb that I adhered to was to become aware of who I am in every moment of breath -- which was difficult for me because in my world and reality, I could not let go of me as the mind of the relationships that I formed with and as my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The relationships thereof, of my own mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions 'clouded' my awareness, and thus, I wasn't able to see in clarity 'me' -- as the relationship with the physical reality which I missed. This is probably the reason why I could never astral project at the time -- because I was never 'here' in awareness of and with the physical reality. The whole point of awareness is simply being aware of the multi-dimensional aspects of oneself as what one is engaged in --  as the conscious activities, such as tying a shoe, the subconscious internal conversations of the mind and the unconscious physical movements, behaviors, and mannerisms. Who am I within these points? What am I accepting and allowing myself to become/exist as within/as my movements?

This was to be my 'goal' as per an 'ingredient' to/towards my spiritual process as realizing who I am in relation to that which is 'here'. The astral projection technique was used, as per the lessons, to be a stepping-stone to the inter-dimensional existence as the footprint of emalgamating me with/as all of existence in all planes. This was to be achieved within/as 'higher' levels of consciousness.

Consciousness is defined in the dictionary as the state of being conscious -- or the knowledge of one’s own existence, condition, sensations, mental operations, acts, etc. According to heterogeneous spiritual practices, there are levels of consciousness, but with everything considered, it is seen as the foundational integrity of perception. Also, according to many spiritual practices, the deterministic quality of how 'pure' a being is in existence is based on one's 'consciousness level'.

Following the Kabbalah, there are several 'sephiroth' which I briefly studied -- as it related to my studies of consciousness and spirituality. I found that the Kabbalah would be the 'map' to what my 'goal' was -- which was to exist within a full state of consciousness, and traverse all dimensions from the physical to the atmic dimension. In between the physical and the 'atmic' dimensions, you would have the 4th dimension -- of which I termed the Jinn (or Jinas) dimension/plane/state. I first learned about the Jinas dimension through a person called Master Rabolu. I will explain why he was addressed 'Master' within the progression of this document. The Jinas state I learned was 'hyperspace' wherein within this dimension, your experience would be slow-moving -- unlike the higher planes. What I would do to attempt reach this plane would be to simply get out of bed really fast whenever I begin to awake from my sleep in the morning -- as an attempt to 'freeze' that state of existing between being asleep and awake -- which would provoke me to end up in the 4th dimension. As simple as this technique was, I would never become successful with this practice, thus, never experienced any jinn state. Rather, when I woke up, I was still in/as physical space/time.

The next dimension above would be the astral dimension -- which is the primary dimension that I was attempting to access within/as my 'spiritual quest' to realize who I am in relation to the universe and beyond. Within this dimension, unlike the 4th dimension (hyperspace), one was able to traverse as fast as the speed of thought. Within the astral dimension, one could meet up with different non-physical beings. Since I was Christian at the time, I wanted to pray from within this dimension in order to actually, see, the result in quantum time, and find out the process that it takes to manifest within/as the physical existence. It would, essentially, assist me within/as my religious allegiance to God, and assist others within their processes as their relationship to God. It would also assist me within/as becoming aware and understanding the mechanics of existence.

The next plane would be the mental plane -- which is of a higher vibration than the astral plane, but is still within the integrity of the 5th dimension. The next dimension would be the 6th dimension which would be the causal and buddhic planes, and the 7th -- as the Atmic. These higher planes would be more of the 'spiritual planes'. In order for one to traverse to the higher dimensions, one would have to adhere to a process of aligning oneself with/as their 'solar bodies' -- which are vehicles to traverse the higher dimensions. In the astral and mental planes, one would have 'lunar' bodies which is a covering/vehicle for the 'egos', as Master Belzebuub called 'egos' as the aggregate of all personalities/selves that exist within/as the subconscious mind (such as the 'desire' ego, or 'anger' ego).

The solar bodies would be a more 'solid' body which could be birthed only through sexual alchemy. Sexual alchemy basically uses breathing techniques as the sexual energies from the male and female transmute into each other to give rise to the kundalini. There would be two solar bodies to be created in the 6th dimension of the causal and buddhic planes, and one in the 7th dimension of the atmic plane. Superior 'spiritual' parts of the mind would be integrated within/as self as the accumulation of these dimensional bodies, and once all of the bodies are integrated into/as one's beingness, one becomes a bodhisattva/master -- which allows for the dimensional Master of oneself (that exists in the higher planes) to incarnate within/as the physical (what is termed as the 'lower' planes in many spiritual practices). The dimensional master would be the being that was from the higher dimensions that looks like oneself -- which would incarnate within/as the physical existence as that person -- once all bodies have been integrated within/as self.

So I had a task ahead of me. As I stated earlier, one of the key lessons that I learned was to become aware of who I am in every moment of breath. This was actually a vital point in attempting to astral project because what happened at the time was, I wasn't willing to exercise attentiveness, thus, when I got in the bed at night time, I would always fall asleep instead of remain aware of myself during the stages right before sleep, and so I wouldn't realize that I was actually asleep, thus, I'd miss out on astral projecting. One had to be in that state where the mind is awake, and the body asleep (right after all of the hypnagogic imagery), and I could never acquire that state. This made me less enthusiastic to/with my esoteric studies that I was committed to. Plus, it was quite difficult for me to find a partner to practice alchemy with -- as the process of birthing the solar bodies within me. The birthing of the solar bodies would be done with the opposite sex using specific breathing exercises that both would be committed to consistently. Also, the sexual act would eliminate a lot more egos than quoting the term "Mother God disintegrate". This, I quoted every time that I had a thought of desire because based on the esoteric studies that I was committed to, the egos are inhibitors of being able to birth oneself as a bodhisattva. The egos keep oneself in a limited state of being as 'personality' in which we believe and perceive ourselves to be. In the 5th dimension, one would be travelling in a 'lunar' body -- which is a covering/vehicle for the 'egos'. One could not exist in the higher dimensions with egos, thus, the reason for sexual alchemy to speed up one's process of birthing the solar bodies within.

Another thing that was a 'no-no' was to not waste the sperm (through ejaculation) because by wasting the sperm, one would waste energy which was needed for transmutation. Transmutation is basically the spiritual exercise for awakening the kundalini. The kundalini is basically a conscious spiritual force which is represented by a serpent coiled at the base of the spinal column. According to Gnostic teachings, while performing sexual alchemy daily in an intensive and specific manner, the Kundalini eventually rises up the spinal column awakening the chakras and psychic faculties as it rises and gives birth to spiritual bodies (which are the solar bodies mentioned) for access in the higher dimensions. This is, according to the Gnostic studies, what was meant by Jesus when he spoke of the need to be 'born-again', or 'born of the spirit'.

So this process in its entirety at the time seemed pretty legitimate -- as the process was very sound, and Master Belzebuub, the instructor of Mysticweb, seemed pretty authentic. I enjoyed being a part of this discovery at the time, but when I found Desteni, I realized what I was accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as -- in this process. I was blind to asking the question, "Why does it take one to go through such a process of birthing solar bodies within me? Why am I 'separate' from these higher dimensions? Why am I separate from the 'source'? It's like telling myself that I am not 'complete', and that in order to become 'complete', I would need to go through an arduous process to make myself 'complete' in order to 'get back' to 'source'. This is equivalent to how relationships are formed in this world. Have you ever heard the term "This is my other half", or "This is my better half?" These terms exists because relationships have become a point wherein when we are able to acquire someone to love us, we feel 'whole' / 'complete' because of the belief that we were incomplete to begin with. I realized that this is actually the same process that I was committed to within/as the teachings from Mysticweb. This is how I come to realize what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as per my own realization in relation to my esoteric studies.

And when I place myself within this realization, I see that many religions have the same point. Desteni is a lot like the teachings from Mysticweb in many ways. Desteni also speaks about the dimensions, as I was eager to leave my body in order to get to the dimensions for my own realizations and findings. That right there should have been enough for me to question the motive of God because why did I, as a being, have to go through these processes of birthing solar bodies within me, and performing all of these techniques just to experience the dimensions. But I never questioned that because I was too caught up in this process that I entrusted as the 'answer'. The primary thing that made me listen to Desteni was the fact of what was informed to me about the astral dimension -- as it being a virtual reality within a  virtual reality. I first had to understand what was the virtual reality that I am presently living in, and it was the mind. Thus, the astral dimension was informed to be the virtual reality within this mind reality. I have never head of anything like that before, so I got drawn in to Desteni from this point. I became enthused to try to attain more information about the mind and spirituality within Desteni, and I realized that where I was going within my spiritual quest wasn't adhered to the common-sense perspectives of who I am within my 'doingness' of  walking the point of spirituality to become one with all of the dimensions of me as me.

There is also a process within Desteni of stopping the mind -- which is similar to stopping the egos of/as the mind within master Belzebuub's teachings. The only difference is that one doesn't go to Mother God to ask for the disintegration of the egos because, if I look at it from a common-sense perspective, I am taking responsibility in the 'doingness' of having the starting point of stopping the egos within/as me by asking Mother Goddess to disintegrate the egos within me, but I am not taking responsibility in myself of/as applying it within/as me through/as directing my own self to stand as the stopping of the egos -- because when I ask someone else to do it, I give my power away to that point to take responsibility for me, instead of me becoming the point of 'power' and taking responsibility for my own self of the stopping of the mind. Thus, when I allow another entity to do it for me, I am actually supporting that point that I am wanting to 'stop' -- be it lust, greed, anger, deceit, laziness, etc. -- becoming the entirety of that point in the physical -- as I allow myself to move as it through/as the very 'threads' of my beingness. So instead of actually transcending the egos, I actually become 'more of' the egos within/as me as the very threads of it -- believing that I am 'transcending', and becoming 'pure'. This purity, thus, becomes the self-dishonesty of me.

So really, I have to bring everything here as me, and realize that I am all that exist. A separate process is not necessary because then I deceive myself into believing that I have to become something in order to 'be'. Thus, this makes for a lot of 'attractive' experiences within/as 'spirituality' because one's mind is always 'active' within the 'search' for/as 'self' -- but as a 'separate entity' that is somehow -- 'more than' the present self. But when I bring everything here as me, I take responsibility for me as all life. Then, that is when I can actually 'move' myself into/as the 'stopping' of the ego/mind because I have placed everything here as me. When I place it separate from me through/as spirituality, I cannot take self-responsibility of directing/moving myself to/towards transcendence, and looking at all parts, because I become 'trapped' within a cycle of an 'illusion' of transcending when I have yet to 'actually' transcend the very essence that is the 'cycle' of the 'lie' that I have set myself in/as -- as 'spirituality'. So I realize for myself that there is no need to create 'solar bodies' because it wouldn't be a self-honest point anyway. It would be coming from the point of separation within/as an 'illusion' of a cycle of deception.

Stopping the mind would entail that one will not be directed by the very 'symbols' -- as thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, beliefs, etc. that are generated through/as the very memories of oneself which becomes the 'engine' of one's participation within/as the 'hereness' of the moment. Thus, within/as the participation within/as the mind, what is presented as the integrity of past -- as the forms, shapes, colors, energetics (as emotions and feelings that was experienced from a previous moment), etc. -- becomes the 'entity' that possesses the physical as the 'personality' that is presented to others in the physical 'hereness'. Thus, ones physical reality becomes defined based on the 'past' and how one has walked/participated in/as the past. Thus, to stop the mind means to become aware of what is 'here', and to not be guided by the past as the symbols that were the very 'director' of ones beingness.

So this is the process that I am currently engaged in within/through Desteni because, I don't have to separate myself into/as a process of birthing myself as a Master upon the Earth through/as the birthing of solar bodies, and the raising of the kundalini within me through the process of sexual alchemy. There are no additional layers of/as me that I have to create as 'expressions' of me because I realize that I am that every expression as the essence of me, but forgot, because I use the past as 'personality' of which I have concealed my actual expression for a pseudo-expression, of/as the mind as calculated algorithms of/as the 'past'. Thus, I then become the "master" as the integrity of directing me into/as the 'physical' wherein I 'emerge' as a living expression of life -- one and equal.


  1. interesting story Leon - yes, there are many teachings 'out there' with many messages about how we can 'become who we really are' or 'access what is really here yet not seeing', etcetera. But also for me, so far only the point of applying self forgiveness and thus taking self responsibility, and not entertaining one self with separating oneself and creating mind-games of apparent 'spiritual adventures' that make life seem 'so much more' than what it actually is as simply 'here', has made any sense to me and has actually truly assisted me in getting to know who i really am as reality. Thanx for sharing Leon!

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  3. your writing exposes that of a dog chasing it's own tail, going round-and-round-in-circle. its nauseating when i read between the lines. the trace of "I AM GODist Philosopy" are in your arguments. the tinge of impersonalism is there in your writings. the there is no God movement is also in your research materials. your research has in it the atheist link.