The Desire for Another to Be a Certain Way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire others to align to my personality in such a way that their personality reflect parts my personality in order to provoke an 'experience' within me of 'appreciation' that I then 'project' to the person which creates an experience of 'appreciating' them more.

I commit myself to be aware of when I go into an experience of 'appreciation' that I 'project' to others and question if the point of appreciation is because they remind me of a part of myself that I am 'seeing' in them because I see, realize, and understand that if the point of appreciation is because the other individual reminds me of a part of myself, then the appreciation is not 'pure' and not a true self-elicited expression, but rather dependent on a part of me that I created a 'value' to that is directing the experience of 'appreciation' for me.

I commit myself to question the parts of me that I created a 'value' to because I realize, and understand that when and as I create a 'value' to something / someone, I 'inflate' it / them in my mind -- meaning that it takes up more of my 'awareness', thus, will obscure my ability to make constructive decisions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question my own personality traits, but to instead, react to external stimuli that gives me 'impressions' that I then define as 'personality traits'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself 'like' or 'dislike' others contingent on their personality traits.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize how I have, for so long, reacted / responded to external stimuli (people, places, things, etc.), and how I used those reactions / responses to mold and shape me into a specific 'personality' that I then create a 'value' to, and I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the way that I have developed myself in relation to how I 'respond' to external stimuli has also been the way that I have judged others in relation to their reactions / responses to me / others / external stimuli -- that I then 'measure' through my own reactions / responses that give me my 'impression' of them, thus, creating the 'experience' of either being 'attracted' to them (as a person, friend, or potential mate) or a 'resistance' (not liking them / wanting to talk to them, etc.).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue with someone to try to get them to understand my perspective about something / someone and not realize that what is behind this is 1) me creating a certain 'value' to the specific point that I am trying to get across to others which indicates that I have not really assessed my relationship to that particular point, and why I have inflated it in my mind as something that has become a significant point / part of me and 2) not realizing that on some level within myself, I have created a 'reaction' to the particular point that I am trying to get across to others because of the point of creating a 'value' to it in such a way that I argue with others to try to get the point across, and not realize how I am, on deeper psychological levels, actually intructing their mind to do the same thing which is 'reacting' in fear to the particular point I am trying to get across to them that creates a memory around that fear that, then, can / will be elicited / expressed in future situations / circumstances as a 'reaction' / 'response' to someone else their life if it is not directed.

I see, realize, and understand that the 'value' that I give to particular 'emotions' / 'feelings' is resultant of a particular biased relationship that I created from particular thoughts and memories that I inflated in my mind that I reacted to that constitutes the way that I respond to others in spoken words and / or behavior. I also see, realize, and understand that the way that I respond to others in spoken words and / or behavior is me responding to those very own memories / thoughts, etc., that I project to others in the form of words and behavior that creates the illusion of direct communication.

I commit myself to, when I communicate with others, to be physically present / engaged with them instead of being engaged in my thoughts / memories because I realize that when I am engaged in my mind during communication -- that I am no longer engaged with the person that I am communicating with, but am actually split in two worlds (the world of thinking / imagination, and the world of physical reality), and cannot be in a direct communication with another until I shift myself out of the world of thinking / imagination / the mind.

I commit myself to take self-responsiblity for what I speak and what I express through a process of measuring the stability of my words and behavior which entails measuring the 'emotional value' that I associated to particular words that I speak / express and particular behaviors that I elicit in a moment, and I commit myself to become aware of the fact that when I speak and express words and behavior that have emotional value in it -- that the 'value' in itself is resultant of a particular biased relationship that I created from particular thoughts and memories that I inflated in my mind by my very own reactions / responses to them that constitutes the way that I respond to others in spoken words and / or behavior.